Thoughts racing, thinking of escaping
Am I trapped? Have I been confined to live in this place of regret?
This is all my fault, placed here through my actions, never to feel again the grace of satisfaction
Death appears to be the only light, it feels like there’s no reasons left to fight
A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery
Consumed by the thoughts in my head, nothing makes sense but the voices want me dead
Constricted by the walls of my mind, telling me to leave this all behind.
Oh how I crave such a shallow grave; bring me to my final resting place
Death holds a constant grip on me
My head forever held in shame, forget my face, forget my name
Disintegrate all feelings once felt, pandemonium is where i’m left to dwelt
Beating hearts never felt so cold, living within this hell all alone
Ceasing to exist is all I’ve ever known
Calloused, broken, bruised and bleeding
My inner compass has lost its true north, always contemplating back and forth
Standing on the fringes of existence, pushed from the edge of my subsistence
A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery
Unworthy to call this body a home; this prison of mere flesh and bone
I have become darkness incarnate, a true form of the blackest abyss
Deliver me from dissolution, no absolution from my own retribution
This mortal vessel has run it’s course, completely depleting my vital life force
Nothing can save me from myself, my own worst enemy, my soul forgotten like an unread book on the shelf
A hostage to my own mentality, an everlasting insanity
There is no breaking free the chains of subconscious slavery
With every notion of devotion I beg and plead to thee, please release me from this grim reality
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 18, 2020 at 8:20 PM UTC
Is this a dream or nightmare
Dreaming for you to save me
Pull me out from this slumber
Put your hands on my chest and revive me
Sternum breaking
Resuscitation failing
These blankets feel like thorns
Pillows now rocks at the bottom of cliffs
Why do I feel so blind
I was more awake when I was dreaming
If this is a glimpse into the afterlife
My eyes are wide open
I haven’t been the same since
Put your hands deep inside me
Tell me my hearts still beating
That im not just bleeding
Bleeding out
Tell me my callused heart is normal
That we’re both the same
Use your touch to cauterize these wounds
Immolate my human form
To the voices heard beyond the void
Sever the strings that keep me from being who I’m meant to be
Is there anyone there
Answer my cries
Release me from the vastness of this madness
And with dreary eyes, my cracking spine
I’m taking back what’s mine
As I slowly watch your kingdom ******* fall
We have to adapt
Maybe I’m the only one
Unwilling to be one who just sits back in the dark, **** I'll take back what was mine
Broken reality falls down, crushing it’s weight on me, the world is my enemy am I the only one
Stuck in between; the mountains and the sea, yeah that’s where you’ll find me. At the bottom of the ocean or the top of the peak. Always positive or negative, no solace or peace
Look into my eyes, they're reflecting your fear from the past year
But don’t worry, this is not the end
No, this is not the end
Believe me or not, but this reality is not the end
Crawling to the calls beyond the grave
It’s life after this one, not the rest that I crave
My tomb is more to me than a bed
It’s a place where I may lay my weary head
Some say this place is full of dread
But I’ve always resonated more with the dead
Those who fear death are already dead
Those afraid of living will never survive
We’re all dying on the inside
I fail to cry yet I cry to feel
What a waste
What a disappointment
I’m sorry I was something you never appreciated
My soul will walk on the plane of plains
Mistakes made with regrets of my past
Counting down the days till I pass
I knew my happiness could never last
But in this new place emotions are non existent
This is what I’ve been waiting for
Given to me anew, my new existence
I listened to the voices that beckoned to me
Im finally free
To be with those on the other side of earth
This is my rebirth
Somewhere with souls like my own
A place I can finally call home
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 8:26 AM UTC
All i ever did was care
But you were never there
Run, run
But you can’t hide
From the demons that chase you
Trying to move forwards
But continuously falling back
To live is to risk it all
We’re not getting out of here alive
Fear will be your downfall
We’re becoming susceptible to the mind hive
There’s no mask
To hide the stench
Of this rotting flesh
Frozen to the bone
Yet burning at the core
Upside down
Hang me from my feet
Let the blood run free
Let this life leave me
When did I lose control
Grasping tight with no grip
Falling through my finger tips
Will I ever become whole
Living this life in vain
I’ll take on every single pain
Ship me to the wasteland
For eternity I’m dammed
Tell me
Was this all apart of the master plan
Troubled times we have fallen upon
If I bare one more mistake, consider me gone
To the underworld; from earth forever banned
Don’t cry
You’re not to blame
I’m the only fault
I should have talked, instead I listened
I thought that was the truth
But now I see, the only person to blame
Is me
Shed not another tear
Continuing my walk of shame
This is meaningless
My head wrapped in pointlessness
Sick minds never to be cured
Falling trap to the sirens’ lure
Songs of the dead
Love me nevermore
A shot made in the dark pierces the heart
We were never meant to hurt, yet we choose not to heal
Sign my name in blood, I’m taking the devil’s deal
From the material world I’ll depart
Listen to the echoing cries of the souls lost
Too late to wish it was more I had fought
The silence of humanity is still louder than the screams of the dead
This place in hell I now call home
It was the closest thing I’ve found to not feeling alone
Keep your humility and thoughts of progression
For where I am now death was the only gift we wished for
Completely succumbed to corporate possession
Beautiful on the outside yet rotten to the core
Everybody will die
Everyone will suffer
You’re just a walking corpse
Slowly digging your own grave
You won’t be saved
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 1:07 PM UTC
Why do I push everything away
I can no longer keep this at bay
Pushing everyone out from my life
This torment of never feeling right
These shackles bringing me to my knees
I’ve built this prison and buried the key
If this was love it shouldn’t be killing me
Release me from the weight of this gravity
Awaken each day with a burning, aching pain within my chest, made from veins, bone and ******* flesh
What a sight to behold
As I watch this anguish unfold
Such a terrible mess
This is distress, at its best
Prisoner to this phobia
Confined to this hysteria
Walking alone fearing my own shadow
Never to know who i’ll become tomorrow
These shackles bringing me to my knees
I’ve built this prison and buried the key
Particles of mist fill the air
Looking through that painstaking glass
It’s me I see from the reflection on the flask
The sun rises as does my mask
Putting it all away, that underlying pain
Hidden away by a laugh and smile, no worry it’s only for a while
The horrors that surround me continues to unfold
“It’ll get better” is what I’m told
No one questions if it doesn’t
Leave me dead and bludgeoned
Numbing the pain through scarring limbs
Darkness grows near, the light becoming dim
My hope constantly wearing thin
When will I find pleasure ever again
The spite in myself is more than hate
Death has always been my fate
If this was love it shouldn’t be killing me
Release me from the weight of this gravity
I won’t waste your time with what goes on in my mind, because I’m slowly forgetting.
Forgetting everything one day at a time
Everyday feels the same, why do things have to be this way, a feeling of happiness never to be regained
Eyes have become hollow sockets
Lungs nothing more than air pockets
Heart empty filled with despair
Mind left with too much to bear
Overwhelming torture and discourse
Drowning every guilt with remorse
Nothing but bitterness and disgust
There’s no faith left to trust
I used to tell myself that I would never become someone else
But I should have told myself
I was going to be somebody
This world seemed so quiet when you were here
Now surrounded by static and noise
So again I find myself swimming to the bottom of the bottle just to block out all sound
Who have I become this time around
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 1:00 PM UTC