I fell for another boy
but he could never be you
it's been two years
and I can't stop my heart
from beating twice as fast
when I hear your name
every morning
I mourn
the loss of your good morning texts
every night
I reminisce
about your voice when you told me
I was all you ever wanted
I let you fool me
play me
hurt me
break me
and somehow still
I can't look at another boy
the way I look at you
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 9:07 AM UTC
He broke me
I wrote again
I cried again
I lost myself inside my own mind
I convinced myself that he was the one
But he never was
He was many things
both good and bad
but he was never mine
The problem with that is
I tried so hard to make him matter
I told myself lie after lie
He burned and burned
Just like a moth I was drawn to his fire
He is not worth these words
Or the hundreds I've given him before
He deserves to be happy
and so do I
We never deserved one another
Yet somehow we ended up here
I fell in love with the boy who burned a
and now this is me falling out
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 1:48 PM UTC
I'm really ******* confused and I wish I wasn't and I wish things were okay again but they aren't and now I'm sitting in the middle of a world issues class at 9:21pm and I haven't caught a single word from my teacher's mouth in the past 2 hours and I'm not sure why I'm trying so hard to fall apart and I can't seem to focus and what is he saying and why did I do this to myself
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 6:57 PM UTC
the first time we met he touched his lips to mine
and I allowed it
im afraid of him because he thinks about me
too often
I know I should consider myself lucky
to have someone so smitten with me
but I can't help feeling suffocated
I can't get enough air but im too scared
to tell him no because I don't want to see him hurt
and I'm no longer sure what my love is worth
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 6:56 PM UTC
I wanted nothing more than to please you
I went along with every word you said
***
Drugs
Love
Was it all a lie?
I was fragile and innocent
Like glass you shattered me
I can feel a black hole inside me
Where your love should have been
I don't know what I want
but I know it isn't you
not anymore
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 4:06 AM UTC
One wanted my body so bad
He was crippled by his desires
Another held me so tight
I thought I might suffocate
One more came along
He let me roam free
But even the freedom felt like a dream
There was one I found perfect
But he just wanted to use my kindness
And he didn't think twice about it
Boy after boy
I no longer have the desire to go on
I can no longer face the "I love you"s
Without breaking down in a puddle of tears
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 4:05 AM UTC
I don't know how to explain
what the hunger does to me
but I can try
The hunger pains are an addiction
without them
I am l o s t
I'm nothing without them
I'm nothing without the control
I want
nothing but beauty
Trying to be strong
it hurts
Eating
it hurts
Your disapproval
******* hurts
Be happy for me
I found my happy place
isn't that what you wanted?
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 3, 2018 at 4:05 AM UTC
Thank you for teaching me
That sometimes
All I have to give
Will not be enough
Thank you for being
So selfish
And showing me
Some people
Only know how to drain
Not heal
Thank you for proving
That some people
Are not as good
As I want them to be
Thank you for the reminder
That not everyone
Has the same heart as me
Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017 at 8:42 AM UTC
I tried to make him matter
I searched the whole world
Looking for the words
I spread myself so thin
Trying to turn him into art
He is not a hurricane
Hurricane's have more power than he will ever have again
He is not the sun
He can neither warm my skin, nor light my dark
And he is most definitely not a God
as he liked to believe himself to be
So what is he then
If not all those things I was lead to believe
Is it true
Could it be
Is he only human
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 11:08 AM UTC
When I was younger
The red and blue lights
Would remind me I'm safe
The same red and blue lights
Have turned me into a shadow
I no longer have the strength
No longer have the will to go on
Red and blue
Was the colour of the sky
The night they took away my best friend
Red and blue
Once more lit up the night
When they came to take away my second chance
They were meant to be a saving grace
A symbol for life and protection
But what's the point
They no longer protect me from the real threat
The real offenders that walk the street
The red and blue
The sirens
All they do is take from me what I love
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 10:57 AM UTC