I grew pears from my home,
Inside a *** inside of my heart,
A Baby seedling;
adolescent stems,
To mature green jaded Jems,
Green and vibrant, plump-juicy
Lavishing my heart with beauty
So I gave them out, to you and to him,
My beige tote-bag filled to the rafter,
Thinking one or two is what you'd be after,
Shocked to find such a ravenous hunger,
I had no pears to no longer offer.
I tried to grow more, but come winter,
My pear tree withered and shivered,
I came to you with no pears, you were bitter,
So I grew opal plumbs in that same winter,
Thinking I'd be sure be onto a winner.
But you said you hated plump plumbs,
And that it's pears you're really after,
"If only pears could grow in winter,"
I would wonder,
"Then we could have our happily ever after "
So I waited till the dewy mossy spring,
To my pear tree did I most softly sing,
About a day, where I spent its jade gems,
Plucked right from their own stems
To someone who would appreciate them.
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 8:51 PM UTC
I'll drink this wine
Like it's medicine
For a sick mind
And I'll do my time
Each year a scar
Remembering
You were mine
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 8:36 PM UTC
All the tears I've cried,
Swam from thine eyes,
Testaments to the times,
Each drop an example,
Of all the hurt and lies,
Yet they flow no more,
Leaving fluid scarring,
Broken meadeners,
Across run down cheeks,
Each line, a visceral cut
Deep into my core,
Reminding me clearly,
The weak don't inherent,
The Earth.
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 5:32 PM UTC
I am shattered shards,
Grains of sand and stone,
Of thin ice and poker cards,
Yet they slip from my hands,
A hound that's lost his bone,
An arena vacant of any fans,
A sinner reluctant to atone,
Forever lost in distant lands,
Trying to find my own home,
But I am stretched too thin,
Playing a game I won't win.
Jan 2, 2021
Jan 2, 2021 at 2:50 AM UTC
I miss looking out my sky-light star gazing,
Surrounded by the warm glow of candlelight,
Long shadows curling up my walls and over me,
Snuggling close, encasing and tucking me in,
While I fell asleep to the flickering light, blazing.
I miss the sound of comfortable silence,
And the familiarity it could bring me,
Without the chaos and turmoil of my family,
Unraveling in delicate daisies and ambiance.
I miss the feeling of burning wispy jasmine,
Watching the thin lines pierce the air clearly,
As white smoke surrounded and encased me,
I felt free as a bird with all it's grace and beauty.
I miss the edge of my bed; the corners of my bookcase,
Each book containing a different piece of my heart,
How I could re-read them, discover new loving parts,
Escaping reality, swept off the road, leaving no trace.
I miss being able to sit in the moment of my first kiss,
Confidence coming from God knows, I reached over,
Stumbling and fumbling in that cold evening in October,
How I was full of naivety, awkwardness and ignorant bliss.
I miss my old CD's and my prehistoric stereo,
The simplicity of changing albums physically,
Singing along to those old emo songs joyously,,
They were my lifeline, more than I'll ever know.
I miss the lock on my door and the clunky key,
The one time I lost it and had to pay for a locksmith,
The chipped corners from my teenage adolescence,
How it kept me locked away- secluded I was free.
I miss the makeshift and haphazardly made carpet,
The memory of my mother laying it over cold cement,
Making do with little money, but still making it *****
It was my makeshift carpet and one I'd never forget.
I miss my childhood teddy, one that I didn't even name,
How he would fall down in the dead of night suddenly,
Startling! Yet comforting as I hugged him into me warmly,
Despite not knowing his name, I loved him all the same.
I miss my PlayStation Four and all the friends I made,
My best-friends despite only knowing their usernames,
The adventures we went onto together playing games,
"One more game, one more round-Is it 3am? Another raid!"
I miss those childhood sleepovers with my best mates,
Before the labels, the social cliques and exclusivity,
Where we ate pizza, played Pokemon, thought positively,
Before we all drifted apart, to different schools and classmates.
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 1:01 AM UTC
We tried to grow red roses;
But they were rotten from root, out of place,
In a colorful meadow we once called our own,
When you left me, running away without a trace,
We tried to grow red roses;
Maybe they would have bloomed, had you stayed,
But I doubt it, your thumb is as green as your heart,
Instead you left me to rejuvenate your rot and decay,
We tried to grow red roses;
But the seeds hadn't a chance, you knew from the start,
Emotionally unavailable gardeners reap what they sew,
I found many fields, where you also crossed your heart,
We tried to grow red roses;
Talking other gardener's into broken and cracked promises,
Already planning on your next field to seed rot through,
Heinz-sight exposed your compromises to excuses,
We tried to grow red roses;
But they are nothing but ash and grey dust in the wind,
See my garden now comes with fences and lie detectors,
To detect liars like you, throwing them in my compost bin,
I will regrow those red roses;
So they bloom brilliantly, they will shake in effervescence,
With both of my gentle hands, without your green heart,
So they know a love that is constant and not just convenient,
I will regrow those red roses;
So that I can learn to love my garden again, in all its glory,
Not one just filled with roses but bluebells, daffodils, violets,
And when you come back, Gaze upon me with green envy.
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 12:13 AM UTC
When I think of pain, my mind wonders to you,
Because for you, pain is not something shiny brand new,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of strength, my mind wonders to you,
In your resolve to scrape pain away like old mildew,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of happiness, my mind wonders to you,
In your sunflower smile and floral rose gold tinted view
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of hope, my mind wonders to you,
Your flora brought sunlight when I thought it taboo,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of Holy God, my mind wonders to you,
Because you gave me the bridge to see Yahweh in me too,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of love, my mind always wonders to you,
In the way you have your heart is so open and see-through,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of caring hands, my mind wonders to you,
Because I see the way you love in radiant red with no ocean blue,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of resolve, my mind wonders to you,
How you connect the dots and attach people like glue,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of faith, my mind wonders to you,
I nearly lost mine but you held onto me with your glue,
My mind always wonders to you
When I think of you, my most beloved friend,
I bless God in your name, our journey is not the end,
Because my mind always wonders to you.
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 10:28 PM UTC
We danced and smoked cheap cigarettes.,
In the dark of night between shadows,
Two dancing but fading silhouettes.
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 2, 2020 at 1:48 AM UTC
Leave me, like they all eventually do,
Tell me, is what they say, is it true?
Am I the common denominator, the
Crying wolf in a victim-less crime?
Is that why they all left, left me alone,
Watching my life as it passes the time?
Tell me, is what they say, is it true?
That I'm the reason you've reached the
Tether; cut our relationship through,
Even if I cried, and tried, to do my best
For you
Is that why I'm alone, with no company
But mistakes I need to atone, haunting
Me until I decay to my perforated bone?
Tell me, is what they say, is it true?
That I can't let go of my own demons,
That they are stuck to me like super-glue,
And I never tried to stop them hurting you,
I let them dig their claws into your innocent
Flesh, drag you into the darkness by your legs
So that you could feel it- the pain I were in too.
Tell me, is what they say, is it true?
That I never cared, or even tried to see the real you?
Was my vision so clouded, my eyesight so distorted,
I could not see you, in my own world of cold blues?
Did the storm of my mind consume me so fiercely,
That I never realized, after the cyclone died, you
were always my one and only silver lining?
Tell me, is what they say, is it true?
That my intentions were never genuine,
I never cared, it was all some magical ruse,
I'm the parasite and you were my victim,
The vampire who injected you with poison,
Turning blood black as it reached your heart
Is that why, now I find that we are apart?
You left me, like they always do,
So what they say, well it must be,
It most certainly, has to be true.
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 2, 2020 at 1:35 AM UTC
It started off as innocent flirting,
You were just so **** charming,
So charming it flat-lined my heart,
Need CPR to jump-start and restart,
You spoke in warm milk and honey,
I ate it all up with my silver spoon,
Until the bowl was all but empty,
And they way you looked at me,
As if you'd won the ****** lottery,
The apple of your eye, your only prize
I knew then, there'd be no other guys
I knew I loved you unconditionally,
My whole bleeding heart in its entirety.
Mar 27, 2020
Mar 27, 2020 at 2:33 PM UTC