JanJac003 - Hello Poetry

When I look up at my ancestors and the struggles of my family tree I realised I was made from bleeding hands and shattered hope Pouring their lives from cup to cup, generation to generation All the things they couldn’t be I was made by them but also for them Passing down onto me their tears and hardships, and all their untold stories You see, they chose me To uphold their legacy, unravel their truth Breath the air and smell the soil of places they could never see I was made to be everything they weren’t allowed to dream My path will sooth their pain I am meant to live loud and carry their sacrifices as my war cry

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Apr 10, 2024

Apr 10, 2024 at 7:31 PM UTC

To everyone before me

When I look up at my ancestors and the struggles of my family tree I realised I was made from bleeding hands and shattered hope Pouring their lives from cup to cup, generation to generation All the things they couldn’t be I was made by them but also for them Passing down onto me their tears and hardships, and all their untold stories You see, they chose me To uphold their legacy, unravel their truth Breath the air and smell the soil of places they could never see I was made to be everything they weren’t allowed to dream My path will sooth their pain I am meant to live loud and carry their sacrifices as my war cry

12

I woke to the new year with a sense of peace. Waving white flags to the battlefields of months left behind. Finding paths back to myself and turning inward to heal and nurture. Drowning my heart in words of appreciation until everything started feeling right. The warmth of the sun has returned to my soul. I have stopped feeling guilty for putting myself first; for choosing my own happiness. I don’t love the world less, I’m just finding more love for myself. As soon as I returned to calmer waters, the game changed. Not because things are now perfect, far from it. But I find myself smiling, more and more, every day, for the smallest perfect moments. Isn’t that what it’s all about, being present in your own life.

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Jan 21, 2021

Jan 21, 2021 at 4:59 PM UTC

Finding Myself

I woke to the new year with a sense of peace. Waving white flags to the battlefields of months left behind. Finding paths back to myself and turning inward to heal and nurture. Drowning my heart in words of appreciation until everything started feeling right. The warmth of the sun has returned to my soul. I have stopped feeling guilty for putting myself first; for choosing my own happiness. I don’t love the world less, I’m just finding more love for myself. As soon as I returned to calmer waters, the game changed. Not because things are now perfect, far from it. But I find myself smiling, more and more, every day, for the smallest perfect moments. Isn’t that what it’s all about, being present in your own life.

1

They may not have met the right way. After a thousand words shared, they knew they found magic. She came unannounced and he caught her off guard. His soul greeted hers like a long lost friend. The road of their love may not be paved smooth. Her stubborn heart surrendered to his persistent hand. Whispering promises with a mouthful of forevers. She was not the first person he loved. He was not the first person she kissed. They were not afraid of each other’s scars. They held each other with hope and the warmth of forgiveness. She knew whether his a storm or the sun or distant. They found their miracle. All her love had a place to finally call home.

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Sep 26, 2020

Sep 26, 2020 at 6:07 PM UTC

Finding love

They may not have met the right way. After a thousand words shared, they knew they found magic. She came unannounced and he caught her off guard. His soul greeted hers like a long lost friend. The road of their love may not be paved smooth. Her stubborn heart surrendered to his persistent hand. Whispering promises with a mouthful of forevers. She was not the first person he loved. He was not the first person she kissed. They were not afraid of each other’s scars. They held each other with hope and the warmth of forgiveness. She knew whether his a storm or the sun or distant. They found their miracle. All her love had a place to finally call home.

4

I held on so tight to the string that was attached to the storm cloud of our relationship. Afraid that if I let go I will not see the sunshine that was once us. I held on to the smiles of happier times and the looks of love. I held onto the effortlessness of our beginning and the passion in our kiss. The cloud became heavier and heavier and some helped me to hold on, others begged me to forget. I found my strength in remembering. Every red flag that I painted white. All the dreams that died when you left. I remember the wasted time spent on forlorn hope of empty promises. It took me awhile to realize that I was holding on to a mistake because I took so long to make it, blinded by the fantasy of what we could be. I cannot continue watering a dead plant. I’m ready to let go of every ‘what if’. I’m ready to let go for me, for a heart that doesn’t lie and a love I can believe in.

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Nov 23, 2019

Nov 23, 2019 at 1:29 PM UTC

Letting go

I held on so tight to the string that was attached to the storm cloud of our relationship. Afraid that if I let go I will not see the sunshine that was once us. I held on to the smiles of happier times and the looks of love. I held onto the effortlessness of our beginning and the passion in our kiss. The cloud became heavier and heavier and some helped me to hold on, others begged me to forget. I found my strength in remembering. Every red flag that I painted white. All the dreams that died when you left. I remember the wasted time spent on forlorn hope of empty promises. It took me awhile to realize that I was holding on to a mistake because I took so long to make it, blinded by the fantasy of what we could be. I cannot continue watering a dead plant. I’m ready to let go of every ‘what if’. I’m ready to let go for me, for a heart that doesn’t lie and a love I can believe in.

8

I try to find something familiar in the stranger staring back at me. I don’t recognize him. I don’t think he ever cared. Event though he made me believe he did. I don’t think he ever loved me. He loved the reflection of the man he saw in my eyes. Loving only the way I loved him. I made him my sun, I made him the stars in my darkness. I gave him my heart. Looking back now. I don’t think I loved him either. I loved having a man on my side, to please, to cater to. He was so broken and I had someone to fix. I can finally move on knowing there is nothing left worth pursuing, because we never really loved.

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Nov 12, 2019

Nov 12, 2019 at 8:12 PM UTC

Never really loved

I try to find something familiar in the stranger staring back at me. I don’t recognize him. I don’t think he ever cared. Event though he made me believe he did. I don’t think he ever loved me. He loved the reflection of the man he saw in my eyes. Loving only the way I loved him. I made him my sun, I made him the stars in my darkness. I gave him my heart. Looking back now. I don’t think I loved him either. I loved having a man on my side, to please, to cater to. He was so broken and I had someone to fix. I can finally move on knowing there is nothing left worth pursuing, because we never really loved.

1

I lost so many pieces of myself through loving others. Now that I need some for myself, I have nothing left to give. Poetry is my solace and I try to write what I feel. A blank page stares back at me and I could not have described it any better. I crumble the page, holding onto it tightly. Sincerely hoping someone can translate all the empty spaces.

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Sep 22, 2019

Sep 22, 2019 at 4:53 PM UTC

Empty

I lost so many pieces of myself through loving others. Now that I need some for myself, I have nothing left to give. Poetry is my solace and I try to write what I feel. A blank page stares back at me and I could not have described it any better. I crumble the page, holding onto it tightly. Sincerely hoping someone can translate all the empty spaces.

1

We screamed to be heard, marched to express our rage. To bleed with our fallen sisters, for I am her, and she is me. We all lived each other’s suffering. The dust has settled now, quiet returned. Yet I still can’t breath. I am still not safe. I cry silently for my country. I no longer connect to her. My love and pride is only filled with disappointment. She has left me sad, and empty and afraid. My son asked me, “Why do you refer to South Africa as a she?” I look at him dumbstruck, he continues, “Perhaps SHE has always been a HE!” This realization is hard to swallow. This... scares me half to death.

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Sep 10, 2019

Sep 10, 2019 at 12:22 AM UTC

Femicide

We screamed to be heard, marched to express our rage. To bleed with our fallen sisters, for I am her, and she is me. We all lived each other’s suffering. The dust has settled now, quiet returned. Yet I still can’t breath. I am still not safe. I cry silently for my country. I no longer connect to her. My love and pride is only filled with disappointment. She has left me sad, and empty and afraid. My son asked me, “Why do you refer to South Africa as a she?” I look at him dumbstruck, he continues, “Perhaps SHE has always been a HE!” This realization is hard to swallow. This... scares me half to death.

7

Our friendship caught fire and soon our roots intertwined We wrapped our arms around each other Filling the empty spaces once there We held each other’s hands for years and from today, for a lifetime more Ever since your heart laid onto my soul I knew that you are beautiful I take you as you are and will love who you are yet to become I will choose you again and again at the start and finish of each day, each season, each year I will choose you through our struggles and successes and all the mountains left to climb I will love you into oblivion and we will tremble as we feel it You are everything I never knew I needed You are the question I never knew I wanted answered The question was love and your answer was “I Do!”

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Aug 26, 2019

Aug 26, 2019 at 11:37 AM UTC

I Do

Our friendship caught fire and soon our roots intertwined We wrapped our arms around each other Filling the empty spaces once there We held each other’s hands for years and from today, for a lifetime more Ever since your heart laid onto my soul I knew that you are beautiful I take you as you are and will love who you are yet to become I will choose you again and again at the start and finish of each day, each season, each year I will choose you through our struggles and successes and all the mountains left to climb I will love you into oblivion and we will tremble as we feel it You are everything I never knew I needed You are the question I never knew I wanted answered The question was love and your answer was “I Do!”

22

I will keep you afloat when the tears of your pain threatens to drown you. I will shelter you from the storms of your memories. I am not afraid of your dark. I will wait in the shadows of your heart. I will be the hand you reach for from the depths of despair, banishing the monsters lurking beneath. Let me calm the tornadoes of your doubts and gouge the eyes of those that don’t value you. Don’t fear the future of your dreams. The wounds of life may have cracked you. But I still see you, not the broken and flawed, but the beauty that shines through your imperfections. I am not leaving your side, I am here, for you, always.

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Jul 22, 2019

Jul 22, 2019 at 4:20 PM UTC

I am here

I will keep you afloat when the tears of your pain threatens to drown you. I will shelter you from the storms of your memories. I am not afraid of your dark. I will wait in the shadows of your heart. I will be the hand you reach for from the depths of despair, banishing the monsters lurking beneath. Let me calm the tornadoes of your doubts and gouge the eyes of those that don’t value you. Don’t fear the future of your dreams. The wounds of life may have cracked you. But I still see you, not the broken and flawed, but the beauty that shines through your imperfections. I am not leaving your side, I am here, for you, always.

1

You consume my thoughts and shadow my dreams. Each morning I wake with the memory of you. The longing is unbearable, but I choose the pain than the pretension of content. I hold onto the days before you left. Reminiscing about the moments that were as effortless as breathing. To love that weren’t forced, as we were drowning in it from the start. Each passing day the darkness of my loneliness tries to consume me. Its attempts are futile as your light runs wild within me. I will never fall away from the gift of us. Even though you are a thousand miles away, you are always beside me. I miss you. Always.

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Jun 27, 2019

Jun 27, 2019 at 3:02 PM UTC

I miss you

You consume my thoughts and shadow my dreams. Each morning I wake with the memory of you. The longing is unbearable, but I choose the pain than the pretension of content. I hold onto the days before you left. Reminiscing about the moments that were as effortless as breathing. To love that weren’t forced, as we were drowning in it from the start. Each passing day the darkness of my loneliness tries to consume me. Its attempts are futile as your light runs wild within me. I will never fall away from the gift of us. Even though you are a thousand miles away, you are always beside me. I miss you. Always.

3