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J_Wendell
16/M/Louisiana
Something is different today There was once a burning fire An immortal tolerance for pain Anything to achieve my desire I would burn the earth to take my boon I would walk through hell to win I would die inside a brilliant fire Because I knew I'd rise again But lately something has changed inside Something killed my epic soul Something has exhausted the fuel within Burned out, cold, I pay the toll I used to have an awesome drive An i Die Die Die Die Die Die Die 0
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:13 PM UTC
Untitled
I stand in a dark room, empty and alone, ashamed and hurt, filthy and unclean, a receptacle for all garbage. I sit against a cold wall, drowning in my thoughts, drowning in my pain, drowning in mire and filth, drowning by myself. I reach for anything to bring myself up, and the water starts to flow. A trickle at first, uncertain, then stronger, washing over me. I let clean water strip away my filth. I don’t fight it. I give in. I let the water wash away my shame, watching my thoughts swirl down the drain. As I sit there, I can’t feel my pain, can’t see my shame, can’t sense my filth. I watch everything washing away, vanishing into the depths. I feel clean. I feel alive. I feel ready to take a step. A step forward. A step away from the past. A step toward something new. I am ready to be better.
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:12 PM UTC
Cleanse
Getting better each day Trying Slowly It hurts I know good is to come I know beauty is inside I know the artist is wonderful But every chip of the chisel makes me want to give up Every swing of the hammer makes me cry Every stroke of the brush knocks me down Every moment in the flame hardens my heart But it hardens my resolve The artist has seen my clay and promised beautiful things I won't be this way forever Somebody is sculpting me into my true self But every gentle touch feels like shattered bones My broken pieces are turning into a beautiful mosaic Stunning and colorful But right now it hurts Right now I need help To see what the artist sees Right now I can't trust the artist Because all I've felt is hurt All I've seen is pain I can't ever see what the artist sees But I know he's there I know he loves me I know he is slowly healing me Even if I can't see it, he can So I'm getting better Trying Slowly It hurts But I'm getting better
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:09 PM UTC
The Artist
I spend every day praying to break this cycle, adrift on a sea without wind in my sails, no hands to row me to safety, sitting in my own filth— completely alone. I see ships on the horizon, their shapes shimmering like salvation, but they are only mirages. I whisper lies to myself: “You’re saved.” Laughable. Nobody knows you’re out here. I could jump, let the waves take me, drown in the mire of my own making. But I’m too scared to die— too scared to free myself from this isolation. Instead, I’ve hung the gun on the wall. It waits there, cold and patient, a silent promise, If nothing changes, I will save myself Your move
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:09 PM UTC
Stagnant
I’m hungry. Starving. Dying. Alone. Im in need, but how far would I go? What would I do to feed my soul? Would I consume the brambles before me, knowing each bite would tear me apart? I bite down and taste only blood. The ache remains, a hunger that gnaws at my edges. I need this, but it hurts. So I wrap myself in thorns, cut my skin to ribbons, just to feel something— anything. Maybe now that I’m cut and bleeding, someone will notice. … Maybe not.
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC
Thorns
I feel odd This strange mood has taken me Something isn't right Something isn't right Discontent incomplete not whole I wander down a bright corridor the lights hurt my eyes The hum a cacophony of pain Something isn't right Something isn't right Something isn't right Something isn't right I'm falling but stationary A runaway train lost in the empty brightness I'm mindlessly speeding through nothingness Something is terribly wrong I've never felt this way before A mad descent I'm suffering and I don't know why I feel sick From tension From speed From stress From pain From sickness I don't know why Something is wrong Something is wrong Something is wrong Something is terribly wrong My life is falling apart as I curl up the walls close in The bright light intensifies I can't take it I don't know Please GOD save me Please somebody save me I can't think I can't eat I can't walk I can't sleep Something is wrong and it's hurting The light intensifies The hum gets louder The walls begin to crush my chest I gasp for breath but nothing reaches my lungs
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC
Something Isn't Right
The front gate is open. You needn’t even knock. Everything you’re seeking is right here. Walk through my city— its streets cracked, its walls worn thin. You ride in, asking “Are you okay?” Your voice is warm, your intentions pure. The city looks broken. “I’m fine. I’ll fix it.” But who am I kidding? I’m not fine. My inner sanctum is leveled, my heart crushed, my life force drained. You nod as though reassured, admiring the scaffolding and fresh paint. “You’re strong,” you say, then gallop off to your next quest. But you didn’t stay long enough to notice the rubble behind the walls. Don’t just stop at “I’m okay.” Because I’m not. I can’t share the crumbling walls behind the fresh paint I don’t know how. But I do need help. You saw the scaffolding and thought it was enough. You didn’t see the cracks spreading beneath. You didn’t see how the darkness still presides, smothering the streets, hiding in the corners of my heart. I’m getting worse, Even if I look like I'm healing. This darkness must be dispelled, But you’ve already ridden away, Your banner bright against the sky. Of course, you meant well. But you never looked deep enough to see.
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:07 PM UTC
Look Deeper
I walk along an endless beach, waves lapping at my ankles, soft sand beneath my feet. The world is a quiet peace. I glance back and notice, to my surprise, two sets of footprints trailing in the sand behind me. I know He is here, rejoicing in my joy, walking beside me because I have welcomed Him. But one day, the wind rises. The sky darkens, torn by thunder. The waves crash, drowning my cries. I stumble, unable to go on. My life is unrecognizable— rubble and filth, pain and sorrow, a world shattered by the storm. And when I look back? Only one set of footprints in the sand. Why? Am I truly alone? I sit in silence, lost in the weight of abandonment. I search for understanding, but all I find is emptiness. I look up to the sky and cry out— “Why have You forgotten me?” Only then is the truth revealed. Not my footprints, not my strength. Every step in the sand was His. Through the storm, He carried me, through the waves, He walked. Not a single moment alone. I was never forsaken. I forsook Him. But he still carries me to the end
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:06 PM UTC
Not Alone
e build palaces on the beach On the wet sand with tides lapping at our foundations We build castles knowing that they will fall But we do it anyway They play a fleeting game that never lasts forever They play a temporary game because it's fun They play not to destroy but to build So I too will to build My destruction will not be by my own hand But by the tide slowly pulling everything apart I will build my sand castle to stand tall, its spires catching the light of the setting sun. I will build my castle to inspire awe, to be envied and remembered. Even when the tide takes it, maybe its memory will remain— etched in the sand, or in the hearts of those who saw it rise. So I will play, to build, to create, to live. Even knowing the tide will come, I will play.
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Feb 14, 2025
Feb 14, 2025 at 11:06 PM UTC
Sand Castles
I finally let it all out— Hot rain falls over dry fields. I scream into the arid sky; The stoic sun finally yields. The storm begins to rise. Something breaks within A crack appears where the pain grows. The weight of indifference builds so fast, It tears apart what I held close. The storm breaks within me. Clouds cover the hateful sun; And finally, I feel the rain. Alone at my lowest point, I release all of my pain. The storm spills from me. I offer all of my hurt To a growing pool of tears. My emotions manifest before me— My hatred aches, sorrows, and fears. The storm is before me. The fields lie broken, split by scars, Roots exposed to open air. Where pain laid waste, the roots remain, Tentative life begins to dare. The storm has passed through me. The suffering hasn't stopped but growth begins
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Dec 15, 2024
Dec 15, 2024 at 1:53 AM UTC
Storm Manifest