J_ME - Hello Poetry

I am most alive on a warm summer night at dusk Walking through a field of tall grass With a warm gentle breeze blowing Stars just starting to fill the sky The sound of the frogs and crickets in the air No one know I’m there

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Feb 1, 2022

Feb 1, 2022 at 11:19 PM UTC

My Peace

I am most alive on a warm summer night at dusk Walking through a field of tall grass With a warm gentle breeze blowing Stars just starting to fill the sky The sound of the frogs and crickets in the air No one know I’m there

6

Trusting makes you vulnerable Makes you open What do you do when you are the one saying no. You, the you who was happy before it all. Who spent years building the walls around your heart and mind. The you who suffered through the pain and psychological warfare of relationships riddled with abuse, neglect and exploitation. The smarter , more weathered you. Misery loves company they say, and you are your own best. The internal struggle to open up, but why? Why wouldn’t you listen to yourself, to your instinct? If you had in the first place would you even be here. You’ve learned to be more convincing more urgent and intended on quelling those urges to cut a hole in the walls. You finds reasons and ways to remind you yourself. You gives you a taste of what it felt like before. Before the safety of this place, alone. You makes it hurt like it did before You did it Who do you trust now, you?

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Feb 14, 2021

Feb 14, 2021 at 7:17 PM UTC

Lying to Yourself

Trusting makes you vulnerable Makes you open What do you do when you are the one saying no. You, the you who was happy before it all. Who spent years building the walls around your heart and mind. The you who suffered through the pain and psychological warfare of relationships riddled with abuse, neglect and exploitation. The smarter , more weathered you. Misery loves company they say, and you are your own best. The internal struggle to open up, but why? Why wouldn’t you listen to yourself, to your instinct? If you had in the first place would you even be here. You’ve learned to be more convincing more urgent and intended on quelling those urges to cut a hole in the walls. You finds reasons and ways to remind you yourself. You gives you a taste of what it felt like before. Before the safety of this place, alone. You makes it hurt like it did before You did it Who do you trust now, you?

15

Now Unwanted Then Unable Me not able Then Afraid How can I escape How can I escape Who can help me Your hands on my body Your hand holding me down I can not escape I am unable Afraid Ashamed Assaulted My life will never be the same

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Jan 29, 2021

Jan 29, 2021 at 12:55 AM UTC

Assaulted

Now Unwanted Then Unable Me not able Then Afraid How can I escape How can I escape Who can help me Your hands on my body Your hand holding me down I can not escape I am unable Afraid Ashamed Assaulted My life will never be the same

15

Behavior is a Response Your Actions receives a Reaction Attention to You You learn how to get what you want You learn You repeat The things you want command your behavior Your Actions Your Mind What do you want? Love, Attention, Fear, Distain or Admiration Do you wish for family? Do you desire Success or Fame? Do you want people to feel afraid? Worship, Submission, Control. Who are you What do you want What will your behavior be Can you control yourself

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Jan 29, 2021

Jan 29, 2021 at 12:35 AM UTC

Self-Control

Behavior is a Response Your Actions receives a Reaction Attention to You You learn how to get what you want You learn You repeat The things you want command your behavior Your Actions Your Mind What do you want? Love, Attention, Fear, Distain or Admiration Do you wish for family? Do you desire Success or Fame? Do you want people to feel afraid? Worship, Submission, Control. Who are you What do you want What will your behavior be Can you control yourself

19

The vibration of the bus and the sun shining on my arm felt good I couldn’t help but feel a dislike for myself despite it. As I looked out the ***** bus window I saw the Sun kissed water and the deep green trees so far away. It was beautiful in this moment untouched. I wanted to feel it. Brought back by the ripples trailing a speedboat. The water cut with the deep blades of human interference. The ripples spreading magnificently one after one after one unwavering Its shine distracting from the impact on the deep calm waters. I felt the pain of the water. I felt the dislike of myself for the impact I have. I felt guilty for wanting to touch the untouched. Who am I to touch? Everyone needs their piece. The piers, the boats, the yards, the perfectly developed plots in which to raise their families and plant their non-native gardens. Violently pull their roots , so we can plant ours. Unwilling to change ourselves to see ourselves to reflect on our touch On our impact The giving tree can only give so much, and it will never be enough. I wrote this on my iPhone drinking out of a plastic bottle riding on a bus.

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Jan 20, 2021

Jan 20, 2021 at 8:02 PM UTC

1988

The vibration of the bus and the sun shining on my arm felt good I couldn’t help but feel a dislike for myself despite it. As I looked out the ***** bus window I saw the Sun kissed water and the deep green trees so far away. It was beautiful in this moment untouched. I wanted to feel it. Brought back by the ripples trailing a speedboat. The water cut with the deep blades of human interference. The ripples spreading magnificently one after one after one unwavering Its shine distracting from the impact on the deep calm waters. I felt the pain of the water. I felt the dislike of myself for the impact I have. I felt guilty for wanting to touch the untouched. Who am I to touch? Everyone needs their piece. The piers, the boats, the yards, the perfectly developed plots in which to raise their families and plant their non-native gardens. Violently pull their roots , so we can plant ours. Unwilling to change ourselves to see ourselves to reflect on our touch On our impact The giving tree can only give so much, and it will never be enough. I wrote this on my iPhone drinking out of a plastic bottle riding on a bus.

27

The leaves are falling I am falling down Cold air rolls in, my heart is blue Because of you Season change in life the same I used to be happy Hopeful Then humiliated The sun is shining Yet the cold air is suffocating me My heart is cold My happy is gone My season has changed Because of you.

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Jan 20, 2021

Jan 20, 2021 at 7:50 PM UTC

Seasons

The leaves are falling I am falling down Cold air rolls in, my heart is blue Because of you Season change in life the same I used to be happy Hopeful Then humiliated The sun is shining Yet the cold air is suffocating me My heart is cold My happy is gone My season has changed Because of you.

14