Yeah life happens...
Things that are out of our control take place.
Sometimes the pressure builds up like the magma under a volcano.
And the more we let it simmer and turn into lava, the build up is stronger... The eruption is bigger.
But we've got to remember even if we forget.
That things happen for a reason, each lesson it brings you'll never forget.
It teaches you to be stronger, resilient and makes you stand stronger.
You've just got to remember, that in life you're still blessed.
Blessed in the little things that bring you joy.
Blessed in the souls that give you love and appreciation.
No matter how much life knocks you down, never give up, get up and always show up.
Just remember it's all just one big ride.
It's up to you to get off or enjoy the ride of your life.
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 2:22 PM UTC
Writing letters of my love for you, knowing you never really felt it too, thinking of the days gone by and realising our picture perfect story was all just a lie.
So it seems you broke my heart, my ignorance has struck again, I failed to see it from the start, when I was made blind by my foolish heart.
The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.
You left me all alone, wondering what I did wrong when you missed my calls and I needed you, you said to me now and forever and I believed it all but I was a fool for catching feelings and falling for you.
The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.
You packed a suitcase with the pieces of my broken heart when you put a stop to all my loving schemes and drove me away with the venomous words you threw my way.
A long nights ride to nowhere land, with tears in my eyes as I watched you leave it all behind without a word but just a look I lost all hope that there's any future of me with you
The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.
And so our story has come to an end, so much for happily ever after, when all I'm left with are memories of you and the days I wasted giving it all to you.
With a shattered heart and a lost soul grieving, I regret ever giving my life to you, but with the pain and sorrow you left me with I learned to see the worth that I deserve and should be given.
And if the time ever comes that you want to say you're sorry for all the hurt and the sadness you left me with, the times I was so gullible falling for all the sweet lies you told me, I'll be right there facing you with the devil within me.
The colours of my love for you has changed its shade from red to blue, the day you left me with a pocketful of promises and a head full of broken dreams of me and you.
Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 4:02 AM UTC
Usually just walk away like nothing ever happened.
These other ones... never set my heart on fire.
Chance meeting, changed all that when I wasn't even looking.
We burned our bridges continously... Each time that I felt I had enough.
But the fire in my heart, that burns just for you just doesn't seem to go out.
Can't seem to let go of what we have.
Can't seem to understand the reasons why I can't leave you behind.
Still feel the same no matter how hard I've tried...
Accepted the situation, but I fear I might relapse.
Time seems to stand still when you're around, never felt like this before. Sometimes... I wish please don't make these feelings last.
Praying for that numb feeling, everytime I feel too much at the thought of you.
But sometimes I wish too that I'd relapse just to feel like I'm still the one for you.
It doesn't change anything, I'd still be here for you. Just because the fire in my heart, refuses to die now, that you've set it alight.
Feb 2, 2021
Feb 2, 2021 at 10:27 PM UTC
Don't change...
Fragile like breakable glass.
Powerful like a tornado in a storm.
Bright light sunlight.
Dark like moonlight.
Melodious like music.
Loud like a horn.
Moody like the sea.
Gentle like a floating feather.
All these things can make the deserving few, in awe of you.
The things you don't find loveable about yourself...
Are the things that others find amazing and beautiful in you.
Just the same as everyone else it seems, but unique in your very own way.
So don't change the things that don't need changing, because the parts of you that seems harder to love, are the things that need loving and appreciating the most.
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 9:03 PM UTC
Fragile being look up to the skies...
The stars aligned, seek brightness in your haunted eyes.
Lost in a world of your own creation, unable to distinguish the truth and reality from the fog that resides in your head.
Fragile being... Give yourself up to the highest power.
The divine universe will carry away the energy you don't require.
Never surrender to the dark thoughts that swirl in your brain. Just look to the skies, believe and have faith.
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 4:20 AM UTC
I laid awake...
Thoughts, fears and worries flooding and poisoning my mind.
The past, present and future swirling like a mist. Inescapable, I am lost and unable to find a way out.
So tired so I closed my eyes...
Hoping to find solace, to find peace...
Floating... Suddenly I'm floating in darkness, oh what bliss.
Looking down, I see my frozen body, not dead and still alive but not consciously aware that I am not one with it. The divine universe has called upon me.
At first there was darkness and then colours... Every colour in the spectrum...
I float through space and time...
I am one with the universe.
A cluster of stars... A divine intervention and spiritual awakening takes place.
It cradled me and spoke to me like a child sitting on it's mother's lap about to be given wisdom and a lesson.
"My dear child, why do you place upon your shoulders so much worry and overwhelm yourself with the things you can't control? What should've been (your past) and what will be (your future) are the things you cannot change or control. Let the past go, let it be... Focus on the present you. Continue to be kind, compassionate and loving. You are a pure soul...
Leave the future to us and all that is yet to happen will be revealed to you in the right time.
Go forth and live your life dear child, do not worry and give it all up to us."
I smile at the cluster of stars and embrace it for some time...
I fall again, through the colours, then in the dark.
And with a jolt I am back in my body once more.
The divine universe has spoken...
I'm at peace and I'm spiritually awakened.
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 9:09 PM UTC
Do you ever sit there?
Basking in the feeling of emptiness, unfeeling like nothing is wrong.
You're over it, over the person that gave you so much heartbreak and made you feel alone in their presence.
Then it hits you all over again...
You lose yourself once more in the heartbreaks and loneliness that was them, it's like you're stuck in a void of constant despair and darkness.
You think about them, like a broken record playing in your mind. The words and promises exchanged and spoken but never came to fruition.
You question yourself and everything...
Was I right or wrong?
Were they right or wrong?
Perhaps we were both right and wrong?
But you can never seem to find the answers you seek.
Heartbreaks and loneliness are part of human nature.
They help you learn and grow to be your true self.
But heartbreaks and loneliness aside, they must not be used to completely define who you believe you are.
Jan 31, 2021
Jan 31, 2021 at 12:45 PM UTC
You rolled in with your sunshine full of laughter.
You rolled in with a promise of love and kindness.
I accepted it...
I valued it...
I loved unconditionally...
But then the storms of you came...
The feelings of happiness you gifted me at the start, you took away and replaced with horror.
You rocked the boat so violently...
But I held on for as long as I could...
Hoping the storms of you will pass.
In the end, I realised letting go and allowing the tides to sweep me away from the storms that is you, gave me the strength to move along and just forget that I never even had the real you.
Now I've found my peace, no longer riding the waves that you created in the storms that is you.
With peace comes happiness...
Someday I hope you'll find it and feel it too.
Jan 30, 2021
Jan 30, 2021 at 3:17 PM UTC
Starry eyed as a youngster.
Believed in everything the world had to offer.
But that all changed, because people that I've known liked to change like the seasons.
They all gave me nothing to believe in.
I had to pick myself up from the pieces.
Now I always live in the moment.
Scared to hurt someone else with my jagged pieces.
Now all I know is what I feel in the moment.
They all gave me nothing to believe in.
28 and still get lost in my emotions.
Scared to let someone walk in just to walk out again.
Learned enough too, to change with the seasons.
Sometimes I revisit the closed doors.
Not by choice but to remember, they all gave me nothing to believe in.
Lost in thought, when I'm deep in my feelings.
Sometimes I have to remind myself who I am.
No matter how deep a mess you're in.
You have a choice to believe in something.
You have a choice how to live your life.
You have a choice if you'd save yourself just to survive.
Sometimes the people you know will give you nothing to believe in.
But it's up to you what you believe in.
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 11:27 PM UTC
And now our story has ended.
We've said what had to be said.
We just went around in circles.
The world kept spinning and so did my mind.
I loved you but now I just hate you.
We just kept spinning in the same tangled lines.
Like we're constantly stuck in each others minds.
I let go not because I wanted to.
I let go because I had to choose myself this time over choosing you.
Circles that's what it felt like with you.
Stuck in a never ending nightmare of unloving myself just to love you.
You said my feelings are temporary, that I always ended up pushing you away.
What you didn't see was that it was you that pushed me away, when you hid and darkened parts of you just to show me the sides you wanted me to see.
I opened up my doors to you, gave you the keys to the doors that I've left locked for a long time.
But we just went around in circles, because your words and promises never materiliased.
And in the end... we were really just strangers, with memories best left locked up, because we never really knew each other.
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 9:57 PM UTC