It's ten to two
I'm still up, still talking to you
We had another fight
Getting you back is now even further out of sight
It wasn't your fault it was mine t
No it was wrong place wrong time
Whatever it was it broke us
I messed up and I lost your trust
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 5:37 AM UTC
He makes me feel beautiful
Which I have never felt before
I've always had my doubts and could never be too sure
Cause they told me I was ugly
They told me I was fat
They joked about me and never had regrets
And I sat there and I laughed it off but it hurt me inside
So bad that I got off the bus and ran straight to my room to cry
And I got on my knees and prayed at my window and asked the lord
"Why is this happening to me?" and it started when I was four
And yes, I still remember that far back
Cause being bullied is it's own feeling of being jumped or attacked
And he makes me feel beautiful
Cause he looks me in my eyes and tells me that I am and I can tell it's not a lie...
Because instead of posting pictures I have edited and cropped
And having boys tell me I'm pretty through messages in my inbox...
He makes me feel beautiful
Cause he means what he says
And a few other people have told me I am cute but I thought they were just kidding
Cause I have programmed myself to thinking my beauty is forbidden
Which means that I could never be a girl that is praised
For her good looks, her perfect body, and her Aphrodite face.
He makes me feel beautiful
Cause even though I have flaws
He accepts them and makes me feel like I have none at all
So maybe I am pretty and I am starting to think better
Of myself instead of looking in the mirror with a look so bitter
He makes me feel beautiful
And when he tells me so with such a serious voice, I get chills
Cause he's the first person that hasn't made me feel completely ill
By insulting or pointing out one of my many imperfections
But instead trying to help get rid if that negative venom
That people have slowly injected into my mind
Making my optimism die slowly over time
Making me get violent and defensive and making me less kind
To the point I get a rush to commit a deadly crime
Then they say I'm crazy and continue with the names
It's a cycle, a stupid circle, a horrible made up game
That has expanded to the point where death is how you win
And I would of won this game if it wasn't for my kin
He makes me feel beautiful outside and in
So I wrote this in dedication to that special him
For helping me realize more than ever in my life
That maybe I am beautiful and I've been this way for a very long time...
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 5:43 PM UTC
I wish I was a lighter I
that touched the clouds as they rolled by
and on the wings of joy I'd fly
far into the bluest sky
I wish that I had held it strong
held it true as we went along
and when the night came I was brave
and fought the shadows from my cave
But I lost my heart one day
in your smile as you drove away
and madness then consumed my mind
I was wrong, I was blind
because in you hope I saw
false as every time before
and I tried to cage you like a bird
with writing out my pretty words
I wish I was as cold as snow
cooled beneath an arctic wind
with frozen blood that could not feel
and no need to make me heal
I wish that I could see the lies
wedged with wires in my mind
I was not yours and you weren't mine
We are angels of a different kind
I wish that I could fix this mess
my insanity made my deeds digress
because its hard to let go of someone I touched
who told me that he loved me so much
If I could go and fix the past
and make it better, make it last
I would be my closest friend
a hero that won in the end
But time can't bend back to repair
it's sealed and done forever there
and we are all just broken clocks
chained within and sealed with locks
And you were just a passer by
on a break, saying hi
And I was looking for a missing piece
or maybe just some pain relief
I've been unfair and been unkind
you did not deserve to see my despair
but you responded with human care
I think somehow you understand
And I will be well in the end
as I always get up again.
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017 at 7:42 AM UTC
Everyday I try to hold onto hope,
But I always end up thinking about hanging myself from a rope,
Unreal it seems most of the time,
But I try to calm myself down, hearing the melodious chimes,
Perplexity prevails as I try to stand up,
I never could tell if it could be this tough,
Disaster ,disaster, everywhere
Now I end up saying
"I don't care"
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 4, 2017 at 4:24 PM UTC
What happened to the "I won't do anything you don't want me to"
What happened to the "okay, I trust you"
What happened to the time it took?
An hour for you're eyes to have a different look.
How did it turn to "do to love me?"
How did it turn to you stealing my virginity?
How did it turn to you not stopping
How did it turn to ******* cherry popping?
You saw my tears
You saw my fears
You saw that I didn't want to
But yet yourself you still drew.
You heard me when I said no
But your mind heard go?
It might been better if you had waited a few
But what happened to "I won't do anything you don't want me to do"
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 4, 2017 at 6:51 AM UTC
What's the cost to be pretty?
I'm fat
My stomache is out of place they say
Don't eat
I want to look in mirror and be happy
People shouldn't tease me because I'm not skinny
be skinny
Who cares if I'm unhealthy
That's what it takes to be pretty
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 7:34 PM UTC
You think I haven't done anything
To ease the pain that you're enduring.
But my darling,
to return the love that you're giving,
I tried, believe me, I tried.
All those efforts that I've made
To make this affection remain
My love, can't you see it?
I tried, believe me, I tried.
You think I didn't do anything,
Just to be with you,
talking and laughing.
do you think I'm lying?
I tried, believe me, I tried.
All the walls that I've built,
To protect our relationship from fading
Don't think that I didn't fight for it
I tried, believe me, I tried.
Now that you're not here with me
I am left here,
hopeless and lonely.
Now is the time to escape from the past
But I won't try, believe me,
I won't try.
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 3:09 PM UTC
Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow
A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day
A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning
Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life not worth living
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 3:35 PM UTC
At the moment i cant tell you the pain I feel,
I can only wish for it soon to heal.
The sound of your voice still lingers,
As does the gentle touch of your fingers.
At the moment this all feels like an illusion,
And causes me too much confusion.
The pain of not knowing if it was real,
And what you said isn't what you feel.
The pain of not knowing if your okay,
Or how I'm getting through another day.
The unknowns cause the most pain,
And make my tears fall down like the heaviest of rain.
I guess this was my mistake,
but my feelings were never fake.
My feelings for you remain the same,
In hopes this wasn't just a game.
I long for you now that we are apart,
But as in my mind, you live in my heart.
I miss you more than words can say,
And I hate that we are so far away.
But know I think of you every day
And want to be with you in that same way.
But I alrwady know it's ended.
I took you for graunted, but then you desended
There is only one more thing left on my mind,
So here it is I'll let it unwind...
I love you...
More than you'll ever knew.
I love you always have...always will
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 8:37 AM UTC
Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.
As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.
You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.
Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.
Although the last sentence
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.
Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.
You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book
Was your favorite story
All along
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 30, 2017 at 8:23 AM UTC