When something is so hot that is makes you realise how cold you are...
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 9:09 PM UTC
Sometimes meanings just get lost in translation,
Whether it's from Japanese to English,
Or simply from my thoughts to my words.
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 9:08 PM UTC
I can feel someone's hands inside my abdomen,
Holding all my vital organs in those hands,
And squeezing till I feel like I might burst.
They have their hands around my throat,
So that I can't speak, can't move, can't breathe.
Until there is no way I could ever escape from them.
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 9:03 PM UTC
And if my lungs continue to suffocate me,
I will let it over take me.
I will just close my eyes,
And maybe someone will hear me say goodbye.
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 2, 2018 at 2:03 AM UTC
The crunching sound of glass under the sole of my shoe.
The gentle bend as the metal frames twisted unrecognisably.
Fragments littering the cement around me.
For what purpose did I need them.
Walking away.
Dread and edrenaline mix together.
Jumping at my own shadow.
Yet no longer having to look at the world.
No longer having to see it.
But still stuck inside it.
Standing behind the retina.
Behind the same distorted lenses.
Shame.
Longing.
Blind.
Lost.
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 9:40 AM UTC
And let flowers grow from the pages,
As though they are each a new life.
A story full of characters,
A garden full of lives.
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 9:30 AM UTC
You belong with the stars in the sky,
But I wouldn't really want that,
Because then we would have to say goodbye.
So you'll just have to say on the ground with me,
And all we can do is think about,
The wonderful star you could be.
You would fill space with an amazing hue,
The colour of your eyes,
That Celeste Velato blue.
You would brighen the sky around you,
And when darkness would try take over,
I know you would always push through.
You would have a gravity so strong,
You would pull everyone towards you,
In a way that could never be wrong.
Your hydrogen and helium and nuclear fusion,
You would burn so hot,
Though it would be no illusion.
You would have a heart bigger then the sun,
So caring and so wise,
And loved by everyone.
You were meant to be a star,
So don't you ever forget,
Because to me you already are.
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 9:07 AM UTC
How can you even start to express to someone that you want to watch yourself bleed...
That you want to rip open your own skin and feel the warmth trickel down you body.
Watching it seap out of you and slide across your skin.
How do you explain that this is a craving stronger then you could ever describe and ever so hard to resist.
That this red liquid is able to quench your metaphorical thirst for emotional relief.
How can you explain that that it helps...
That in some twisted way the pain makes everything hurt less.
How do you explain to them that it scares the living hell out of you,
That this is something you can do to yourself,
That this is something you want to do to youself.
The knowing that even after so many years you still crave it,
And you don't think you will ever stop craving it.
How can you explain to them that you don't want them to think you're crazy.
That it just hurts too much for you to bare.
That you are trying to bare it but the pain you feel inside is too much.
That the fact that you can't see this pain scares you,
that others can't see your pain scares you,
That you don't even understand this pain scares you.
And maybe this is why you crave watching yourself bleed.
It's a pain you can see,
A pain that others can see,
A pain you can understand,
But now that you see the pain you understand that you don't want others to see it.
Because how could you even beguin to explain.
How could I ever beguin to expain to you that I want to watch myself bleed...
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 5:57 AM UTC
I didn't write my essay...
Because in a room of silence,
Everything feels so loud.
My brain is screaming at me to run away,
Like the paper in front of me has claws and teeth,
Just waiting to tear me apart.
I want to tear it apart.
I can feel it bubbling and boiling up my throat,
Suffocating me so the anxiety can breath.
But I can't breath.
When did this silence become so deafening?
May 5, 2018
May 5, 2018 at 4:36 AM UTC
The insomniatic somnolence coats me.
16kHz of sound running through my eardrums.
Empty words written on the walls of bathroom cubicals.
The lifes of people who come and go,
Snagged on the emtpy soap dispensers.
***** lino floors folded at the edges.
The rattling sounds of doors locking around me.
Plastic seats flipped down to carry weights,
Of the people who come to just sit down.
The rusted hinges on doors I can't seem to leave through.
This is both my prison and my safety.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 29, 2018 at 9:51 PM UTC