Where do I even start,
There’s so many things I’d like to know.
Perhaps with the list
I hide beneath my tongue
Or maybe this is all so new
And it’s far too early to tell.
Of all the things I wish to say
Just know you’ve helped me write again.
It’s your name that sits inside my throat,
Your face that keeps coming back.
I will not call this feeling new
But it is a nice welcome back.
May 27
May 27, 2026 at 12:17 AM UTC
I am not the same as I once was.
I sing in the car now.
I wear whatever I want, and I’m not ashamed to be happy.
Secrets no longer spill from my lips, easy as music from a lyre.
I do not need to have changed, I only must know it’s okay.
Tell me about pain, and I will tell you mine.
Whisper in the way fireflies rise from the reeds,
The way the prairie feels when the breeze runs through the grass.
Love in the way the river runs down our mountains,
The way my father sings by the fire.
I do not need to have changed, but I am glad I did.
The way does not always need to be forwards.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 6:42 PM UTC
Black windswept hair,
Though it looks brown in sun.
A glint in eyes
So very pale blue.
She brings back years,
We handed out snickerdoodles
To anyone on the block.
I don’t want another Halloween
Without you by my side.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 6:29 PM UTC
We met in early February
And your heart began to thaw.
You called me a liar
I called you a cheat.
I remember how you were
Every shade of perfect.
„How do you stand it,
The weight of the expectations?“
I hope you‘re so sure of San Diego
That we all become empty space.
You shone
And the gods got jealous.
„I‘ve gone a bit crazy.
All the good people do.“
You can see it in merit,
The hunger descending.
You taught me to live,
To forget the other people.
This is what it feels like to fly
To fall
To burn.
It‘s just us two,
Covered in blue.
You left in late September
When the bugs flew out of the reeds.
You called me a memory
I called you lost.
May 1
May 1, 2026 at 12:22 AM UTC
When I was young you took my anger
Hid it in a box labeled with „pain“
And let out small bits until it escaped.
I would ask you to rein it in
But we’ve stopped speaking the same language.
If your texts ever come through
I hope you tell me that you’re walking out
That you lost the taste for alcohol
That whatever takes you over made you do it.
It might’ve been the quarantine
Or something in between bike rides
But I think I’d like my anger back.
Coach says it’ll help
So I guess I’ll just keep asking.
You act like you just sit in there
And wait for us to reappear but we know you go outside.
I should be so angry
At you and the world
But of all the things I just can’t do
This is one of them,
Because you stole it
Apr 25
Apr 25, 2026 at 9:40 PM UTC
Stop and rest for a while, traveler.
There’s a mug of tea on the bedside
Left out just for you.
I hear your voice in the river,
In the wind whispering on the window panes late at night.
I feel your touch when I wake from a dream,
Fingers grasping at my neck.
But I still see your face in the woods when the sun goes down,
And pray you‘ll never find me.
If I‘d show you the places I‘ve put you:
Flowering eyes in the painting I did when the moon was full;
The spilled ink stained on my hands;
Peach chapstick I can’t seem to put away.
If you could see where I’d have sprinkled your ashes,
Had you not been swallowed by the waves,
You never knew the ocean like I did,
But I still can’t seem to look its way.
We used to lay on the floor
Your svelte form in the imprint of my life.
We used to watch the coyotes cross the street
And grip our dusted keychains tighter.
We used to spend weeks away from the world,
Just us and the trail.
There’s a mug left out by the bedside,
Sitting on your favorite book.
There’s a waterlogged compass,
Stuck pinned up on the wall.
There’s an empty space next to mine,
So stop and stay for a while.
Apr 24
Apr 24, 2026 at 12:49 AM UTC
I can’t stand the world.
The night creeps in and squeezes my heart
And I can’t breathe.
I come on here and scroll and scroll,
Never stopping to read for more than a second.
Why can’t I stop.
I am over heating.
My heart hurts.
I hate this music;
And I still can’t breathe.
Why am I here?
I don’t even care.
Apr 19
Apr 19, 2026 at 11:26 PM UTC
The days are getting longer now
And I know we aren’t there yet
I know it isn‘t summer
But my heart is screaming to run.
Let’s cut to the chase
It’s over, I know:
You’re halfway out the door
The sun sets on your shunning sillouete.
We‘re done, forget me.
It’s time to go back to school.
Leave me in the dust, in the dark, in the new day.
It seems like nothing ever changes and we all know how
I still run away from all the
Same dead–end sports,
Same town and state.
Still stuck beyond the internet:
I’m just some girl they used to know
Their friends still applaud all of my glow.
And I still miss the future we‘d had.
Let’s cut to the chase
It‘s over, I know:
We go from doing flips off the dock
To slamming the car door.
We‘re done, I hate that you‘ll leave me.
Leave me cowering in your wake, in your web, in the waste.
Let’s change the ending
This is over, we are not our mistakes:
I am unapologetic
For the sympathy and silence I lack.
If no one comes to help me
I‘ll become the person I need.
Nobody seems to question what they say
I used to be the same.
If I leave my body in this prison
Will my ghost be trapped too?
If you know I’m not your hero
Will you learn the things I don’t know how to teach?
How many times have I tried to change the ending,
And if I try to spin the failure into fact, will that fail too?
Apr 17
Apr 17, 2026 at 10:56 PM UTC
You might‘ve asked me how I’ve been
But you always knew how to tell.
The silence is thick, the shadows long,
But what did I expect?
I hear the songs
Your ghost still sings,
You‘re exactly where you need to be.
But could you come back and haunt me?
I might‘ve told you how I’ve been
But I refuse to drag you back down.
I‘ll learn to live in your absence
Without your arms holding me up.
I forgot how to cry
By reading the manual left on your bedside.
Late at night I dig through the drawers
But why can’t I find where you hid your tears?
My tounge went numb
So you can’t ask me anything,
But I still curl up on your bed when I can’t sleep.
Apr 6
Apr 6, 2026 at 1:32 AM UTC
We are fighting again.
The takeout in front of us has gone cold.
She asks me what I want
But it’s the last year I’m thinking of.
Laughing with my new friends,
Sailing at twenty miles an hour,
And now, biking.
Biking away with the ache in my legs
That‘ve been holding me up for so long now.
It’s those moments that make this worth it.
What do I want?
I want a lot of things.
To live. To die. To swim, or stay dry.
It doesn’t matter what I say:
We all float down here;
With the things that eat whale corpses, dragging us down.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 12:09 AM UTC