I have unfortunately been broken,
Though I am certain that
has been an over played card;
It still happened.
Over and over again.
Love became a myth.
Family became war.
Friends broke my heart,
and even though the fire
in my heart almost went out:
It didn't.
That was two years ago,
when I was only an after image
of life experience that belonged
to everyone but me.
So I decided to live.
Maybe not the right way at first.
Maybe the fear and loathing in my own heart
led me away from everything that ever mattered
so that I could remember why they mattered
in the first place.
I remember walking across
the bridge with my best friend.
Sending cryptic messages
that change was coming.
I don't think he understood what I meant
that cool evening.
I started my journey into myself alone.
Many times down the path I thought I wouldn't make it.
But at the end of everything, I have come to understand
Myself and my existence. I even made friends.
Though the journey is far from over,
The miles ahead will be on new soles.
Maybe even a new soul.
Because it's only after you lose everything
that you begin to appreciate what is given.
This is progress.
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 27, 2017 at 2:09 PM UTC
I watched the particles
Of dust fall gently across
The open expanse of window like stars.
Falling into place as though
They were hand picked
For my eyes.
Remnants of epithelial cells
And late night epiphanies
Cascade through the air
As a reminder that the world
Is in movement.
Mine is not a new revelation,
But a subtle reminder
That everything will eventually
Fall into place and the
Very frustrating puzzle of life
Will become clear.
No suffering lasts forever.
No chaos is permanent.
When you are both creator
And the hand crafted creation,
Stopping to find divine intervention
In accumulated floating specks
Isn't so bad.
Maybe the world isn't so bad.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 10:35 AM UTC
Today
I
Feel
Like
I'm
Falling
Into
An
Empty
Bottomless
Pit.
The thrill of free fall
Into the cavernous expanse
Of inner thoughts
Could only be met by
The shock of rock bottom.
Apr 1, 2017
Apr 1, 2017 at 1:01 PM UTC
Tonight was a farewell.
And it breaks my heart
To feel this way,
But you proved to me
That our bond was broken.
Maybe one day we will
Talk about it and laugh.
But I really don't think so.
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017 at 2:47 AM UTC
"Why are you like this?"
I remember the exact moment
I cut our fate string and stepped
Off the path.
I remember the talk on the bridge,
Feet from where our future
Almost ended and lied to you.
I wanted to take on all the hatred
I could. I wanted the world to hate
Us the way I did
As a form of punishment.
Because what had we ever done
With my life to deserve any of them.
I put out the light all on my own.
We have no one to blame but ourselves
For this non-existence.
"If you could go back, would you do it again?"
If time travel were possible,
I would go back and push you
Off that bridge just so that I never hurt
The people who make all of this suffering
Worthwhile.
"If all this suffering was worthwhile, then why push everyone who has ever loved you past arms length? Why the hell would you choose this type of suffering over the love that could have been? What kind of person does that?"
Sometimes you have to become a villain. The light we carried was almost out
And I acted in what I thoughts our best interest.
Had I known that at the end of the day
It would be just us watching the ruins
Of our world smolder in the wake
Of my mistakes,
I would have chose differently.
Mar 11, 2017
Mar 11, 2017 at 1:31 PM UTC
I have been playing with
The concept of morality
In my head for a while;
The guidelines in which we base
All of our actions can be properly
Placed into one of two categories.
Good and Evil.
Is the course of action ahead
For the betterment of myself
Or my society?
How does one even begin to understand
The ramifications of their decisions
And their affect on human history.
What if enlightenment is only
Another word for loneliness?
What if becoming one with your
True self is really just isolation
To an idea that we can transcend
Into something better but:
Let me remind you that evil did not exist before we did.
Even in light of current events,
We know that within each of us
Is a light that is never extinguished.
I know the times ahead may seem tough.
For my generation specifically
Because we are only now finding
Which paths to take.
We may have created evil,
But we don't have to nurture it.
We can become the balance
And remind each other that isolation
Isn't an answer.
Especially in our own selves.
I hope you take this to heart.
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 29, 2017 at 3:49 AM UTC
It is now 3:38 in the morning.
I should be sleeping but instead
Find myself traversing
The recesses of old notebooks
Trying to remember the me
Who filled them.
The dreamer that I was feels
Long gone sometimes.
The love I believed in washed away
With the seasons.
The imagined field that I would
Someday run through
Like a finish line seems lost.
Sometimes I can't remember
Why I started writing.
But here I am at the cusp
Of a new beginning,
Finding new reasons to hope
That tomorrow when I flip
Through these pages I will
Remember the me that wrote them.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016 at 3:55 AM UTC
My name is Nathan.
I have never aspired for much,
Only that my existence have an impact
On those who chose the burden
Of my friendship.
I'm only kidding though,
I act as though only darkness
Remains inside me but in actuality:
I have just been cultivating
A brighter light.
My path turned to gravel
For a while there,
By rocky, I really mean
The jagged, fractured stone
Gave way to open space-
- But it looks like I caught myself
Just in time.
I am reminded in this moment,
With the slow beating of my heart
That I exist on my own.
The recognition doesn't matter
Because one day you'll all see.
The warrior time has made me.
One day I'll help to change things
For all of us.
My name will one day be a symbol
Of strength.
Because the true measure isn't
About what you can lift.
But the weight that you can carry.
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 26, 2016 at 6:04 AM UTC
2016 sure turned a lot of us into warriors didn't it?
Dec 22, 2016
Dec 22, 2016 at 8:10 PM UTC