There they were…
Lying on the bed, with her head resting below his shoulder, listening to his heart beat, and praying it never stops.
One leg draped over him, as if she was afraid he’d free from her embrace. As though her leg, a restraint, holding him in place, keeping him from leaving.
Her arm resting on his body with her hand on his chest.
There they were…
The safest place she could think of.
Her favorite place to be.
She was with him.
Their love, shielding them from the chaos of the outside world, while she silently worries, that he’ll someday leave.
He notices, and reassures her… he’s here to stay.
“He’s here to stay!” She thinks to herself. She’d finally won the fight against her own mind.
He said it himself! He won’t leave!
She could finally feel at peace.
His reassurance and validation was all she needed to believe.
And just like that, she could finally sleep. See… he made her feel safe.
He said “Let me love and protect you! That is the job I want!”
So she let her walls crumble, opened the door, and she let him step in.
He dusted the cobwebs, and drew back the drapes. He painted the walls and straightened the frames. He fixed the creaky doors and floors, and mended broken shelves. He brought light to the darkness, and color to the grey.
He even bought flowers for the empty vase, that had seen better days.
He just strolled in, and he made it a home suited for two.
He said “no more need for walls” and he put in a sparkling moat. “You’re safe with me, you can rest and unload.”
She didn't yet know, that what she’d need protecting from, was him.
For when he’d rip it all away.
He loves her.
He loved her.
Up until one day…
And there they were.
Both, unaware and unafraid.
Mar 5, 2023
Mar 5, 2023 at 8:38 AM UTC
There’s a beast inside of me
But she’s not who I am
And she’s not who I want to be
Jul 7, 2022
Jul 7, 2022 at 11:37 PM UTC
I loved you...
I loved you
And you hurt me
I trusted you
and you lied
You fixed me
just to break me
And now
I’m broken inside
I loved you
I loved you
I love you
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 2:24 AM UTC
I’m sad, I’m numb
I’m lonely, I’m numb
I’m in pain, I’m numb
When you’re with me
I’m happy
When you’re with me
I’m loved
When you leave
I’m sad, lonely, in pain
I’m numb
Jan 27, 2021
Jan 27, 2021 at 7:17 PM UTC
You tried to touch me,
and I said no.
You still tried and I pushed you away
asking…. no, telling you to leave me alone.
But still, you grabbed me,
like an object that belonged to you.
And when I still said no,
you acted like that was your cue
to grab me again
and do what you do.
You were my best friend
and now I ******* hate you!
I still blame myself for what you did to me.
How is that fair?
It’s been 4 years and I think about it daily.
While you don’t even care.
You ruined high school for me.
I had to see you every day in band.
But I still blame myself,
for not putting you on the stand.
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 6:03 PM UTC
Tucked behind the golden locks,
that cascaded down her face
Were the footprints of dancing sunbeams,
that left freckles in their trace
And a pair of vibrant green eyes,
that flowed like twin creeks
Showed that she had been broken,
as they flooded her cheeks
Shattered by a voice, from which,
she could never break free
And he whispered in her ears,
just like the buzzing bee
His voice was rough,
and his every word stung
Much like the devil himself,
he bore a forked tongue
He made her believe, that she,
would never be enough
And he insisted on making,
every day tough
He told her she was damaged,
unwanted and broken
Like a loose seam, she came undone,
with every word spoken
Her glossy green eyes,
behind luscious locks of gold
Fought an unfair war, against the lies,
her anxious mind told
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 6:00 PM UTC
Tucked behind the golden locks,
that cascaded down her face
Were the footprints of dancing sunbeams,
that left freckles in their trace
And a pair of vibrant green eyes,
that flowed like twin creeks
Showed that she had been broken,
as they flooded her cheeks
Shattered by a voice, from which,
she could never break free
And he whispered in her ears,
just like the buzzing bee
His voice was rough,
and his every word stung
Much like the devil himself,
he bore a forked tongue
He made her believe, that she,
would never be enough
And he insisted on making,
every day tough
He told her she was damaged,
unwanted and broken
Like a loose seam, she came undone,
with every word spoken
Her glossy green eyes,
behind luscious locks of gold
Fought an unfair war, against the lies,
her anxious mind told
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 5:24 PM UTC
every heart stops beating
not every man's worth meeting
I can see by the cheesy greeting
this conversation's not worth completing
we could be great, but it would be fleeting
in the end, you'll end up cheating
and it'll be this number you're handing me, that I'll be deleting
Apr 16, 2020
Apr 16, 2020 at 2:09 AM UTC
I have been through hell, beyond what anyone will truly understand.
There’s emotional damage that’s been done as consequence for having such an open and trusting heart.
I’ve fallen too fast, I’ve loved too easily, and I’ve trusted too many.
I am damaged and broken in ways that will never be mended.
I will never be who others want me to be because that is all that I’ve ever wanted to be.
My friends need me to be their crutch, my parents need me to be their perfectly well-rounded daughter, and the man I’m falling for,
well...
I just want to give him the best of me.
How does one pick and choose who to be for the ones they love, when regardless, the love almost always remains unreciprocated?
I would love to be their perfect daughter, but that’s not who I am.
I would love to be the perfect friend who picks up every call, but for reasons that I cannot control, that cannot be me.
I would love to be cared for, protected, and eventually loved unconditionally by the man who’s almost too perfect to be real.
But, I can't have the one person that makes me truly happy because everything else remains in my way.
I've been damaged,
broken,
bruised,
and used.
All I want is happiness, yet she shall remain a stranger to me until I find my escape from the overwhelming demands of everyone that I care for.
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 24, 2020 at 8:26 PM UTC
We spark flames
To feel ecstatic
Our movements erratic
Our breathing like static
To forget we’re rheumatic
We overthink like quadratic
Now we’re sounding pneumatic
Take a hit
And now we’re behaving asthmatic
Like a real fade fanatic
Too ****** for pragmatic
Our mind’s like a dark attic
Where we hide our ****
When we don’t want them to know that we are back at it
Thinking like backward chromatic
Yeah, this **** is thematic
And it’s ******* dramatic
But it’s all schematic
for the bad habits of a using drug addict
Feb 13, 2020
Feb 13, 2020 at 12:22 PM UTC