I didn't believe in heaven until I realized this is it.
I was absent from truly living,
But then my light was lit.
With the cactus I've found that everything is divine. Nothing is good, nothing is bad
It's all perfectly designed.
I've felt the beauty of life when I drank mushroom tea.
Learned that I am everything and everything is me.
I met people whose paths I was destined to cross, and learned soul mates can come in more forms than I thought.
In the desert I felt connected to all things High. From life, through death, I saw it in the sky.
The Mountains, the Moon, the Desert, Me.
*All
One Consciousness,
One God,
One Energy.*
I didn't believe in heaven until I realized this is it.
How blessed it is,
I will never forget.
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 12:58 PM UTC
When I was a teenager, caught in the web of self hatred, I stopped capitalizing the word "I".
I knew only important things are capitalized; The Grand Canyon. Albert Einstein.
God.
I did not know then what I know now.
I did not know that I am ALL of those things.
A quote that a person whose taught me a lot shared with me recently,
" You are the entire universe, in the place that you call here and now, in the same way that a wave is the entire ocean.."
Think about that..
Who are you?
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 1:24 PM UTC
It's so easy to live life in fear.
To stay comfortable.
To not take any risks.
To hold on to people as tight as you can in hopes that you'll never lose them.
But when you live life like this, you aren't actually living.
Experience new things. By yourself and with the people that you love.
Hold those people close, but realize that they need to live their own lives, too.
You'll never know what could've happened all the times you've said no.
So get uncomfortable, be afraid. That's how the best memories are made.
Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 2:06 AM UTC
I want to fall in love with the trees the way I fell in love with his body.
I want to fall in love with the wind the way I fell in love with his laugh.
I want to fall in love with the rivers the way I fell in love with his veins.
I want to fall in love with the stars the way I fell in love with his eyes.
I want to fall in love with myself the way he fell in love with me.
May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 1:51 AM UTC
My problem is that I feel too much.
When I was 14 I thought I loved a boy who cared nothing about me. I felt so much and didn't know how to handle it, so I began to cut.
When I cut it was the first time that I had control over what I felt, and it helped.
When I was 15 I fell in love with a boy who cared about me more than anything in the world.
I learned that there are better ways to be in control of what I felt, and I started writing poetry.
Now that I'm 19, and me and that boy have grown up, we've broken our own hearts by being so unsure with the world.
And I feel way too much.
More than when I thought I was in love the first time, more than when I knew I was in love the second.
My body is overcome by everything it feels.
My ******* turn into sobs.
My sobs turn into laughter.
Poetry helps, but not enough.
I haven't been eating enough, because by not eating I regain some control.
But I need something. I know there is something that is missing.
And I'm going to find it.
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 1:47 AM UTC
Every time he told me I was beautiful, every time he reminded me how strong I was, every time he held me when I cried,
he was planting seeds.
Planting the seeds to help me bloom into the beautiful flower that I'm supposed to be.
Right now I'm a stem. I have a few leaves over here, and a few dead ones over there.
But it's time to bloom.
Into a beautiful flower, who glistens in the rain, and shines in the sun.
A flower who needs nothing but the earth to keep it alive.
A flower who needs to believe in itself in order to thrive.
May 26, 2016
May 26, 2016 at 1:27 AM UTC
I had his things packed, waiting for him to come take them, waiting for the last time I'd see him.
I looked out the window and saw that the sky had grown cloudy. Just like the day we started dating, I thought.
And then I thought the clouds were there so that we could end it the way we started it.
But, my love. I was wrong.
We cried. And cried. And decided we needed to go to the river. At least one last memory together.
I needed one more memory.
But as we drove, it started to rain. Of course. But the rain never stopped us in the beginning, why would it stop us now?
We parked. And kissed. And then hands moved to the places they tend to go, and moans escaped my trembling lips.
We walked down towards the river, rain pouring down on us.
We got high.
And that's when I realized.
I realized that the clouds didn't come to end us the way we started.
They came to give us a new start. A new beginning, a new life together.
Filled with nothing but love. And growing closer together and being happy together.
Standing under the trees trying to hide from the rain, it reminded me of the day we first started dating.
I felt the same way. The same hope, the same happiness, the same feeling.
The feeling that I was right where I needed to be.
That I was home.
May 22, 2016
May 22, 2016 at 4:23 AM UTC
I'll miss his voice. The way he'd say I love you or the way he'd sing his L's.
I'll miss laying on his chest with my leg wrapped around his. That was when I felt home.
I'll miss watching him dance. So goofy, and so cute.
I'll miss his hands. His gentle touch, his strong touch.
I'll miss his veins. I loved tracing them with my fingers in awe that they are what keeps him alive.
I'll miss his smile. There was a certain one, and it made everything in life seem okay
I'll miss the way his burritos would fall apart.
I'll miss his kisses. So filled with love, they'd give me butterflies.
I'll miss watching his lip twitch when I'd touch it. It was one of my favorite things.
I'll miss him getting me to adventure with him. He made my life so much more exciting.
I'll miss making him *** The sounds, the faces, the taste.
I'll miss falling asleep with him, and waking up to sleepy kisses.
I'll miss taking showers with him. Feeling so exposed and letting him touch me all over.
I'll miss making him food. I loved taking care of him.
I'll miss having him comfort me. He always made me feel so safe. Like when we would go camping and I'd get scared of the sounds.
I'll miss having him tell me howcute, pretty or beautiful I looked everyday.
I'll miss his curved toes. And laughing at them and having him get embarrassed.
I'll miss his cantagious laugh. I now laugh like him sometimes.
I'll miss seeing his cute **** when he'd get up to put pants on. And trying to touch it.
I'll miss standing on my tip toes to try and be as tall as him. I never was.
I'll miss trying to act tough and wrestle him. I never won.
I'll miss getting his goodnight texts.
I'll miss picturing our lives together when we're older.
I'll miss how goofy he gets when he's high. Even though I sometimes wasn't in the mood.
I'll miss the weird looking animals that he thinks are cute.
I'll miss him kissing my feet. He's the only person I can let touch them.
I'll miss plucking his eyebrows and trying to hurt him.
I'll miss all the weird selfies he takes on my phone.
I'll miss driving around with him.
I'll miss how excited he was about his pins, and his games. Even though I made fun of him.. I wish I didnt.
I'll miss talking to him. About anything and everything.
I'll miss feeling so loved
I'll miss everything about him.
I keep reading that to get over someone, you should try to remember all the things you didn't like about them. But there isnt anything. I loved everything, all his imperfections, everything.
I wish I would've appreciated all these things more. I wish I would've known the last time that I would've witnessed everyone of these things.
I wish this wasn't happening.
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 1:16 AM UTC
My heart grows a little happier each day.
As the days grow shorter, the wind blows stronger, and the leaves turn darker.
I ache for this season all year round
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 2:30 AM UTC
There are a lot of things in life that i take for granted, but you my dear should not be one of them.
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 25, 2015 at 3:24 AM UTC