What if you're not ready?
What if you don't want to be set?
But you're supposed to be,
So reluctantly you do it anyway
But why?
If it's not for you, then it's for them.
Except, it's not
Don't you get tired?
Don't you just want to leave?
Not because of anything they did
The hurtful things they said,
You're stronger than that
Yet you still want to leave
The worst feeling is you can't figure it out, why you want to go
When everything in your life seems
to be going perfectly
But you're still not happy,
And it's not your fault
So why do I run, you ask?
I seek perfection and nothing
at the same time
I just run because that's what I know
I don't think I'm scared of anything
And it's not because I don't love you
I run away for me
Me and only me
I don't know if I'll ever stop
I imagine it would be nice
To let people back into my life again
But I'm not ready for that yet
You running along beside me
does not bring me comfort
Rather, it's the exact opposite
I am the most okay with myself
when I am unsure what is ahead
Running, running, still running
Everything I am, was, depended on,
knew, loved, hoped for, dreamed
All fading fast behind me
And yet I keep running,
All because I'm not ready,
nor do I want to ever be set,
I just wish to forget it all
and you with it
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 18, 2016 at 11:31 PM UTC
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
- E.E. Cummings
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 13, 2016 at 11:13 PM UTC
I understand you are trying, really I do
it's not your fault though, it's mine right?
I mean that's what I learned,
you taught it to me remember?
and now I am synonymous with ungratefulness, manipulation, betrayal
I remember nights I was up well past my 8:00 bedtime
too excited to eat
too anxious to sleep
I was happy
because you were almost here
my
Defender
Advocate
Dependable
Devoted
Yes-man
finally come home... but you didn't
you were here until you weren't
you were on your way until you changed your course
you wanted us until you didn't,
but you were always right, always perfect
and we were a game you liked to play until our batteries ran out
now we are Disgusting,
ripped Apart at our seams
yearning to be Desired again in
the midst of Divorce
and You don't even notice us
broken
I am looking at you across the table
both of us too busy assembling our internal defenses with
what we stole from each other to
reconcile
And I, your suffering, shameful son, am tired.
Dec 1, 2015
Dec 1, 2015 at 7:47 PM UTC
I imagine you in your room
crying, pacing, angrily talking to whoever will listen
It's hard, I understand that
But that doesn't change the way I feel
I love you
I think those are the only words I haven't said today
And may never get the chance to again
We're both mad, yet neither one us try to fix it
So much animosity in one word on the screen:
okay.
please don't go, I need you
But the message doesn't get there in time
You hold the power button
Slide your finger across the bar on the top of the screen
And it ends.
One year, seven weeks, three days
And it's all gone in ten seconds
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 7:22 PM UTC
I've heard it said that on average, a person meets 3-4 people in his/her life who they just fit with even if it's impossible to describe why. Of those 3-4 people, 1-2 changes them for the better and introduces them to a whole other side of his/herself that the person never knew. Also, it physically hurts to leave 1 of those people and you can't get them off of your mind.
You are all of these things to me. And I think I have found my 1. And I know it's forward, and I get it if I'm freaking you out right now. I know you may not feel the same way about me and that's completely fine. I had to let you know because it doesn't change if I keep this feeling locked up; it doesn't go away.
I'm scared for the future. I don't know what it holds, and I don't know where it's going to take us. But what I do know is that I want you with me for as much of it as possible. I want you by my side. I want to see you as the mother of my children; which is another thing that has scared me. The thought of having kids has terrified me. But I'd love any number of children as long as you're mine.
I know this very well could have scared you, and I know you may find me creepy now, but I just had to let you know:
I'm in love with you.
So much.
In every single way.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 11:19 PM UTC
Lights growing dimmer
Sun sinks behind vast ocean
Calm simplicity
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
I miss you so much though it's only been a day
I miss your smile, I miss your warmth in every single way
I know it's not easy to love someone like me
But I thank God everyday it was you who accepted my plea
I'm not used to all of the affection being given to me by you
Because every other time there were feelings, people ultimately said adieu
And everytime i pull you close I can never help but fear
That the love I share smothers you so, it makes you disappear
But with you I'm absolutely sure I am willing to take that chance
Because you and me together makes for one terribly wonderful romance
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 10:45 AM UTC
Boy: "This isn't my thing, it's not me, it never has been, and that was okay until now"
Girl: "But what changed from then to now"
Boy: "You did. You may have not meant to, you might not even have wanted to, but you sure as hell did it. You snuck your way into my life"
Girl: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Boy: "It means you're there. With me. Every minute in every part of it. You may not always be the forefront but you're there in some capacity, always on my mind."
Girl: "But why are you trying this if it isn't you?"
Boy: "Because it's you. And because it's you, I want it to be me. It may never be me, but it will always be you. And anything I can do to be close to you I'll do. Because it's no longer just me and no longer just you. It's we"
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC