I began in a garden
Where time, life, humanity started
Unformed dust
Flirted with pure waters
Muddy lifeless clay
With sticks and ribs
God molded His kids
Beloved, in Eden
You shall thrive and stay
When I was older
All the kids say
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never hurt me
1 2 3 beware of their tricks
H-E-Double hockey sticks
Little do they know
When wide-eyed Eve heard the tone
Of the wicked seductive note
No stick or stone broke her bones
But words caused the death of humanity
God called for eviction
Sent an angel and flame
To block the entrance
Wandering through the heat and rain
Humanity lost their way
Only one path remains
To unshackle sin’s chains
I walk the narrow path
Followed His word
Fought spiritual attacks
But my Creator I did betray
Hilly, rugged terrain
Twisting my ankles
Scraping my feet
Left me tired and ******
Foraging among the beats
I stare off the trail
Enamored by the tales
Foretold by the snakehead
By a fallen angel I am misled
Bloodstains mark my tread
Metallic crimson red
Though my blood may drip
The promises of God do not chip
Jesus’ body does not slip
Into chaotic waters
And abandon His warships
Insane it is to think I could ever be the same
Once I let the bloodstain of Christ
Give hope to my pain
The blood of the lamb
Who washes my feet
Rinses my flesh clean
Judgement day will come
Like a thief in the night
But Saints don't have fear
The Wicked alone cower and sneer
When the holiness of the lamb is near
Time will run its course
Marriage of God with the Righteous
Purity and Body will have ***********
The Wicked alone God will divorce
Made one with Christ
He clothes me in white
He hands me a cup
And teary eyed cries,
“Beloved daughter
Drink from the fountain of life”
The clear blue water
Refreshing on my lips
Baptism penetrating my body
Resurrected, purified, holy
Angels sing in worship a refrain
“All glory to God
Father, Savior, Creator, Redeemer
We worship you
Glorify you
How you bless all your creatures”
Michael the Archangel
Stands as best man
Champagne glass in hand
“A toast to the bride
Beloved since the dawn of time.
Faithfulness was steadfast
Even though shaky at times.
She doubted, she wrested
She yelled, she cried
Yet humbled her pride.
Prayed the groom would mend
Her heart and her mind.
A toast to the groom
Who faithfully provides
A path in the wilderness
A lamp in the night.
Like fairytales and chick flicks
It was love at first sight
The groom pursued His bride
With all His grace and all His might.
Now they stand before us
In front of all the angels and Saints
To uphold the covenant
May we forever glorify His name.
Here we stand
Judgement day
The groom’s justice triumphs today.
May the bride and groom
Honeymoon forever
In this eternal city”.
Restored Jerusalem
Blushes with glory.
This is the last bride’s story.
Apr 26, 2021
Apr 26, 2021 at 11:48 PM UTC
Yeah, I know I didn't walk in blind folded
I knew what I getting myself into
Yeah, I know you're gonna leave
I support you following your dreams
But you weren't honest from the start
I just wish I could play my part
Yeah I know I'm sad
Yeah I know I'm fragile
Yeah I know I'm a little extra depressed
Don't know when I got so mental
Yeah, I wish I could live in a world
Where you care about my head
Where you laugh with all my friends
Not just what I like in bed
Where you ask about my future
Where we make long-term plans
But every time I text you
All you say is "yeah"
No, I don't know when I got this fragile
No, I don't know when I let down my guard
Did I even have gates up in the first place
No, I thought I was stronger than this
I wish I could play my **** part well
No, maybe you shouldn't have taken up my time
No, maybe I shouldn't give you space in my mind
Yeah maybe all I need is a good cry
Reminisce before I kissed my morals goodbye
Yeah, you're fun to mess around with
Playing twister in your bed
Yeah, I know you're just my type
But we both got demons in our head
Yeah. I could drag this out
But being casual isn't what I'm about
So when you ask, "should we end it?"
All I'll say is "yeah"
Mar 30, 2021
Mar 30, 2021 at 1:52 AM UTC
Innonence and sadness
No longer one
But often the other
Your music makes my heart
Desperately want to sing again
Speaks my fears
Makes melodies of my hopes
Produces the background music of my dreams
Innocence and sadness
No longer extremes
I swim in between
In the vast dark blue sea
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 8:27 PM UTC
"Hey babe" he says softly "why don't you stay the night?"
I can see his gentle blue eyes twinkle in the fire light
Both of us huddled under blankets
To shelter us from the crisp California breeze
On a foggy spring night
Giving him a smirk, with subtle sadness in my eyes
The kind I hope my mascara hides
Teasing him I answer "I can't"
"That's girlfriend privileges"
He looks down at the fire
Poking it with a tree branch, he nods
Looking back up at me his bright blue eyes piercing mine
He asks compassionately, "who hurt you?"
I break eye contact, wanting to answer honestly
But fiddling with the gold rings on my hands as I do
Spinning one round and round on my finger
"Several people.
Too many people."
He leans closer to me
I can feel his warmth
Smell the sweet musk of his cologne
He gently holds my hands in his
I stop fiddling with my rings
He glides the gold band slowly off my pointer finger
And delicately places it on my ring finger
"One day, I will make sure
The memories of you and me are the only ones that linger"
Mar 27, 2021
Mar 27, 2021 at 3:07 AM UTC
I only write poems when I'm manic
I collect words when I panic
Gather them up in a picnic basket
To spread them all out before me
On a rainy afternoon
But I am inside, you see
Where the rain can't touch me
I spread out my words
Like peanut butter and jam
Putting them together all over again
But now the bread's soggy
And the jam too is watery
My eyes drip liquid glass
Reflecting every part of me
The mania has ceased
My energy deceased
Sadness now caresses me
Exhaustion slipped inside of me
I guess even inside
Somehow the rain found me
Mar 26, 2021
Mar 26, 2021 at 6:00 PM UTC
When I was four
I was no longer an only child
the window-paned double doors to our home
now open to another smile
When I was four I met a baby girl
who's gonna wow the whole wide world
with the sass of her curls
and her charm and fake pearls
When I was four
I no longer had all the attention
your precious crying and laughter
deserved comprehension
When I four
I couldn't have known
how much love your squishy red cheeks
could tug out of my heart
When I was four
I didn't know how much my mental illness
would drag you down with it
When I was four
I didn't know how much I'd cry
wishing I hadn't made you feel heartbroken and alone
When I was four
I was so excited to be an older sister
I didn't know how much
I'd let you down
But when I was four
I had only a sliver of the love
that I have for you now
Almost two decades later
You have my whole heart
Happy birthday baby sister
Mar 26, 2021
Mar 26, 2021 at 12:19 AM UTC
and once i've slept the sadness away
i'll awaken to the splendid light
dawning a new day
Mar 23, 2021
Mar 23, 2021 at 5:43 PM UTC
Please
I just want to help you cook dinner in a cozy downtown apartment with you
Watch your favorite episodes of Criminal Minds with you
And show you some of my favorite shows too
I want to rest my head on your shoulder as I cry with you
Finish another bottle of cheap red wine with you
Roll around in your bedsheets after the sun has long set with you
I just wanna know you
So don’t leave me on read
Please
Mar 10, 2021
Mar 10, 2021 at 9:42 PM UTC
I am not fat
So please
Stop
Thinking It
I am beautiful
I am fit
I am so loved
More
Than I could even know
Could ever
Comprehend
At the foot of the cross
My soul
Feels the weight of a fraction
Of its worth.
A fraction
Is all I
Know, Because I cannot
Comprehend
The rest
May I rest
In you
At the foot of
The cross.
Think of this
I have loved
Well
I have been kind
I know happiness
Even joy
I am not fat
But my life holds
So much weight
Could never
Comprehend the weight
Of the rolls
Of ocean tides
Ripples far
and wide
The length of His
Love
Tides made when I give
His light
Kindness
The measurements
Of my steps
The folds of my flesh
Mimicking
The mountain range
Because He made me strong
and wonderfully smart
and vulnerable heart
and soul of gold
Bits and pieces of me kind
and in my mind
and body
He is there
Weighing me
Down
Pressing onto the scale
He is weighing me
Down
Holding me
Heart, mind, soul
Weight
So much, heavy
Love you’re heavy
Filled out
Pregnant, no
Obease
With His love
Kindness
Generosity
Grace
You are my
Love. He is
my kindness
He is
My generosity
Overflowing between every fold
Roll
More
each year
Growing
Multiplying in
Love
Generosity
Kindness
This is my weight.
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 10:39 AM UTC
of course I'd want you to come visit me in New York
take the subway to off broadway
make snow angles in Central Park
buy overpriced latte's in the glistening rain
but there are invisible bounds
and I must restrain
the bounds of a city
then marked by footprints
replaced now by loud freeways and hippies
the bounds of downtown
once marked by trees and spring beauties
roots once tangled and over grown
cemented over now by sidewalks and shows
the bounds of two souls enveloped in love
as friends not lovers
soul mates, kind of
if I move away
do the bounds bend and sway
or like a string break
and disintegrate away
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 2:47 AM UTC