"Yes, yes, I feel the same as you all!" I insist
"I will rip off my skin to rid myself of my flesh
To lose this sense of wrongness and to express to you my true form. For this is my one true desire. For you to look deep within me and see the parts I now lay bare. To pick apart the bone from the meat and the thoughts from the words. This is all ive ever longed for."
And I'll repeat it again and again. More and more I long to match. To feel the same as those around me. Parroting the words of others as if I am capable of knowing myself in such a way.
When will I finally know myself?
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 4:30 AM UTC
I speak of you in hushed tones, dimmed lights, drunken nights.
Your name falling from my mouth like something bitter.
We gather round to mutter practiced disdain
Of your flaws and your mistakes.
Yet what I bruise in you is mine,
What I condemn, I recognize.
Every fault I hand to you is one I've carried all along.
For the only enemy I've named is the one standing before you.
Mar 2
Mar 2, 2026 at 12:09 AM UTC
If we didn’t speak then maybe I could pretend I was a better person.
Pretend who I am now is good and absolved of wrongdoings.
Pretend my regrets only reside in what’s been unspoken.
As if my actions don’t hold the weight I know they do.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 10:49 PM UTC
I’d tear myself limb from limb
If only you would love me more.
Broken bones for you to nurse,
A fragile body to be saved.
To make myself smaller and smaller
Until I was finally gone.
Maybe if I wasn’t here,
You’d truly pity me.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025 at 11:46 PM UTC
With gentle fingers she molded the clay
Every line etched in was deliberate
Two eyes, a nose, a mouth
A face slowly began to form.
A warm smile, a youthful glow
Her creation was complete
She sent it off into the world,
Free to love and learn
The little person lived a great life
Yet something was never right
The nose, the eyes, the arms
An issue would be found
She heard the clay’s prayers to her
“Why did you make me this way?”
Golden streams fell from the goddess
Her creations never loved her back
Jun 6, 2020
Jun 6, 2020 at 3:03 AM UTC
I want to hold your hand as we dance under the moonlight
Let ourselves be free
Open
No fear of closeness or vulnerability
We can laugh and love
Yell out into the stars of another world
Letting the universe know that I’ve chosen you
But just your eyes on me is enough for me to choke and stumble
I just want the world to know that you’re mine
Nov 7, 2019
Nov 7, 2019 at 10:05 AM UTC
It has been three days since my last confession
I beg you, Lord to listen to my prayers
Accept my words and let myself become new again
The holy spirit is a strong one, guiding me back to your light in times of great darkness
Yet today I fear I have strayed far from your light
Sister Marian was in a great deal of pain
I was unable to cleanse her of her true sin
Wayward souls are mine to correct, Lord, I know
But at times their sin is heavier then I may heal
So I only had one other way to truly cleanse her
Forgive me father please
She is in your hands now, her cleanliness immortalized.
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 11:01 PM UTC
Am I worthy of love?
Me
Tainted and bathing with sinners
Disgusting, unnatural.
The only thing a man will truly hate
How dare I mingle with their kind.
Ever long are the days words will pass only in hushed tones
If I had the voice I would scream aloud my thoughts
Let myself be free
But I am trapped in this chamber of normality
I may try my words, but no matter what I try
These pleas won’t stick to bare walls
May 29, 2019
May 29, 2019 at 12:15 AM UTC
Wrap me up in your words
Bury me in the warmth of you
Until I’m left with your scent for days
As I fall in love with you all over again
Feb 14, 2019
Feb 14, 2019 at 12:24 AM UTC
Your lips are a poison, burning the back of my throat with the taste of you
But I can’t help but crave just one more sip.
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 10:17 AM UTC