Another number turns to the past,
Another year expired too fast.
Another step closer to goals I chase,
But the future still feels like an empty space.
Graduation waits just down the road,
A cap and gown, a heavy load.
Everyone asks, “What will you do?”
I wish I had the answer too.
Applications sent, no replies,
Just quiet inboxes and passing time.
Another year of trying to see
Who I’m supposed to be.
Another candle, another page
That’s the strange magic of growing age.
Mar 16
Mar 16, 2026 at 11:16 AM UTC
Another
Another day
Another wake
Another chance.
Another shower
Another hair brush
Another morning med
Another have a good day
Another bus ride to school
Another day of copying notes
Another day of empty calories
Another day of chronic headaches
Another moment you can't get back
Another unreasonable due date missed
Another day of people you cant tolerate
Another chance at life missed due to school
Another day of missing someone i cant have
Another day of getting home so tired i cant work
Another afternoon of fighting to not be seen as lazy
Another night of feeling like i am living life half asleep
Another night of trying to choke down food to nauseous
Another night of trying to be productive around the house
Another night of feeling as if I wasted a perfectly good day
Another moment you know you could have done more during
Another realization I will do the same forever if i go with the current
Feb 11
Feb 11, 2026 at 9:43 PM UTC
"I’ll drive"
Just one more time
your car engine humming, country music low.
The world idling.
My head in your lap.
Your arms wrapped around me as protective as a seatbelt.
The world finally still enough to breathe.
"I won’t hang up"
You were on the line that night
hospital light,
fluorescent and white.
"High-risk" a warning label no one wanted to read,
too bitter for the tongue to speak.
My voice fading in and out of sight,
a signal losing its fight.
You stayed
steady as a dial tone
"I will always be here for you"
Just one more time
your blue eyes close enough
I don’t need a lens,
no viewfinder,
no distance to define us.
"I won’t let anything happen to you"
You told my mom everything,
because I couldn’t.
You watched over me,
when I didn’t know I needed watching.
Standing at a door
I didn’t know was open.
"I’m here"
Just one more time
Hearing gravel shift
when you pull in,
like the earth saying
stay.
it gets better.
Lying on the couch with a movie in the background,
voices flickering, no attention to them.
Reaching for you, no effort needed,
like gravity and fate intertwining us.
"I will keep you safe"
I don’t want you to ever again
feel responsible for saving me.
Counting miles between us
like heartbeats in the dark,
every mile another mark,
another spark
going out.
"I love your family"
Just one more time
Dinner with my family.
Plates clinking softly.
Rubbing your back when you’re sick,
slow circles, rhythmic.
Laughing with my brother,
as if you’d always been there
as if you were stitched in.
"I won’t disappear"
You always stayed
right up to the moment
I thought you might disappear,
"It gets better"
Just one more time
Your fingers threaded through mine,
everything quiet, aligned,
the world small enough
to fit inside a single line.
"You can fall asleep on call with me if you need"
I don’t want to own your dreams.
I know you’re always in mine,
moving through them like headlights on a dark road.
I don’t want you
to become just a dream,
something I wake from.
Something lose twice.
"Do you want me to distract"
Just one more time
Hearing about your sister.
Trying to say hi to your grandmother.
Seeing photos of your mom.
Trying to imagine placing myself gently
into the frame of your life.
"You deserve to be loved"
I only want Christmas Eve again
Your grandmother’s house.
You tired because you drove to see me.
Even the gas
that carried you to me
felt like love.
Making me feel the most special
on my birthday,
like the day was built around me.
"I won’t go to sleep"
Just one more time
Stay on the line.
like the night won’t end,
if neither of us hangs up.
You’re still somewhere
driving.
Just not toward me.
"I swear on my sister"
I believed you.
I still do.
Like a promise folded small
and carried
long after it expired.
Feb 10
Feb 10, 2026 at 11:11 PM UTC
"Everything you touch burns, it’s about time you realize that.”
The phrase that will forever repeat in my head
The phrase that almost ended me up dead
The phrase that gave me a date
The phrase that showed me my fate
What a thing for a mom to say
What a way to ruin a day
What a way to cause distress
What a thing to say to your little princes
The phrase that made me believe you were foe
The phrase that left me stuck in woe
The phrase that made me question my worth
The phrase that made me uncertain of this Earth
What a thing to make me try to wash away my flame in the sink
What a way to make me think I’m just as bitter as your drink
What a way to make me see the truth, for God’s sake
What a thing to make me feel so fake
The phrase that changed my perspective
The phrase that changed me, being unreflective
The phrase that changed my track
The phrase that changed me, so I carry it around like a sack
What a thing for growth to come from pain
What a way for loss to teach me gain
What a way for truth to have readings
What a thing lighter to have two meanings
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 9:23 PM UTC
I used to know the details of your smile,
much more than your frown
I used to know when you'd be in town
I used to know your laugh that lit up my day
I used to know your first, middle, and last name
You ran from my heart while there was still an ember
Now you **** like a cyanide slumber.
You act so sweet, but you’re so distant
Why can’t you just be consistent?
Your words are Halloween candy
sweet at first,
but bite too deep and you’ll see
the razor hidden inside,
a trap like the trust I placed in you
I miss your irritating smile that always makes me mimic you.
I miss the way I used to feel when I looked in your eyes.
I miss the way you'd hold me
though I was too scared to let you
The way you'd make me light up
like a child with a candy in hand.
We are different, yet the same
so why aren’t you to blame?
To blame for the nights your name was spoken with disdain
To blame for the actions we cannot undo,
To blame for the reality I cannot exchange
And I’ve missed you so badly
More than silly Christmas carols
More than late night car rides
More than a love that feels like landslides
We still have awkward chats.
In some days, I won’t be a liar when I respond with a smile
In some months, I won’t be scared you’ll vanish from my life
In some years, I won’t dread conversations about our kids
But I miss you now,
and I’ll miss you after all those years
I’ll miss the easy, honeysweet conversations from the start
Our borderline-romantic connection
The questions people asked,
wondering if you were mine
Now you’re too far from my reach,
so I search for you in every peach,
in every sweet smell.
I imagine us together
instead of saying farewell
Feb 8
Feb 8, 2026 at 10:58 PM UTC