FreyaAdwinHeart
14/F/The depths of my iNsAnItY
Music is my life support, / art is my blood / and literature is my brain. / There to keep me possibly sane. / / Life may shove me down but I will stand back up and embrace it with a warm loving hug. / / I love everything but have a distrust towards it all.
I knew it.
I knew you'd say that.
I knew you'd go off
and get all mad
and then I'd go soft
with my thousand apologies.
We both know how it's going to go,
so why do we still do it?
A continuous cycle,
a downwards spiral.
The same dialogue,
it's getting old.
The pages of the script
are yellowing and curling
further unfurling
a story already told.
And yet,
here we are.
It's the same every time.
Its unchanging,
not even rearranging!
And still,
here we are.
You're further defending,
I'm further descending
into my guilt but
who's really wrong in these petty situations?
Of course if it was you, though,
you'd never admit it.
But honestly,
Who cares?
These petty little arguments.
It's ridiculous, at this point.
And, of course,
I know I'm doing it, too, but,
You know it takes two
to argue,
yet you'll still act like it's not you.
And no matter what I do,
if I defend myself
or let my guard down,
you remain the same.
You'll claim
that it's just me wronging you.
Why can't you see
it's really both of us?
It's so dumb.
It really is.
But here we are,
running through the script
once again.
Just let it end!
May 1, 2019
May 1, 2019 at 11:04 AM UTC
The burn
of skin,
the smell concerns
your friends and family.
They know they’re next, but
they’ll try their best
to fight me off
but I'll bite off
chunks of their skin
to reveal their succulent blood
that lies within.
Let it pour over my tongue,
let the taste
erase
my thoughts
they melt away
with the bitter taste of ****** on my lips.
Cannibalistic.
My mind-
it’s twisted!
as your skin between my teeth.
The smell-
They claim it reeks but
its all I live for!
It's just a shame it's what they die for.
Not!
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 11:10 AM UTC
What a beautiful day.
The bright blue sky
in place of the gray
that once took place yesterday.
The wind,
its brisk.
Let it whisk me away
from this world
and it's cruelty,
its injustice.
Life isn't going right
so I look to the sky
and say,
“What a beautiful day…”
Wishing I could coexist
be at peace,
just be free!
One with nature,
away from all the idiocy
of an unjust world.
My escape this pen to paper.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 11:08 AM UTC
Green.
Full of kinetic energy,
and fantastical vibrancy.
Once it lands,
it's up again
in swirling inks
too quick to truly be seen.
Color the leaves of trees,
cover the blades of grass,
coat the feathers of peacocks.
Make it better
with the color
of full liveliness!
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 11:06 AM UTC
Snow in the Spring.
Cold flakes fall on
warmly colored petals.
The bright blue sky
lost somewhere in the cold winds.
When Spring began,
I guess the Winter didn't end.
The two seasons fight for power
of the weather
back and forth
and once again
until finally,
Spring overpowers
see the blooming flowers
scare off the bitter winds, but,
until then,
we have
snow in the Spring.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 11:05 AM UTC
Love isn't where my heart resides.
I don't look and sing to the skies.
I'm not capable of blind love and faith,
believe me, I've tried,
but, in fear, I put up a fight.
I've cut myself loose of all I considered
possibly rotten
but really my soul is the one rotting.
My stomach eats away at itself
I can't stomach this anymore.
In panic, I hide inside myself.
A leap of faith,
I cannot take
for I fear of falling into a well.
So my soul and mind
end up drowning in themselves.
Hopefully one day I learn to trust again.
Maybe one day I can fully love my friends.
and hold them with both hands
trust them with my heart and soul.
Maybe soon I can look them in the eye
without checking for deceptions or lies but until then,
I'll hide away in this hole.
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 10:01 AM UTC
I can never tell
who's right,
who's wrong.
I can never tell
whether to fight
or get along.
So I'll fight away
any emotion I feel.
and come off rash and unappealed.
I feel the need to protect myself.
I walk around with my
fists up,
knife in hand,
gun in pocket.
Just knock it off!
Yeah, I want to love you again
but you did me *****
so, of my forgiveness,
you are unworthy.
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 30, 2019 at 10:01 AM UTC
500.
500 roses.
500 lives
to die today.
500 loves
to wilt away.
Love can stay,
quite possibly remain
forever, but
we let it die
right in front of our eyes.
500 roses
across the face of the earth.
500 bright, fiery reds
crumble to deafening black.
No coming back.
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 23, 2019 at 10:04 AM UTC
See it once,
see it twice,
see it any way it's sliced.
Take a chance,
roll the dice,
it's just the game of life.
It can be cruel,
stab you with a knife
take a step back
don't let it rule over you.
Things fly out of the blue.
It's hard to know what to do, when
life doesn't pick any sides,
its neither wrong,
nor right.
Don't try to fight the light
you look better in plain sight
with the rest of us,
this is a must.
Left alone to rust
truths hidden under dust
brush it away
and you'll see
it's all just a race between
death,
you,
and me.
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 12:59 PM UTC
The ever-growing list.
A thousand names
penned by my wrist.
The names of
lives gone by.
It's no surprise
that they would die
blood on my hands
their shadows faded with the mist.
Knife in my fist,
another addition to
my ever-growing list.
The names of
the ones who wronged me
set their souls free
from the guilt they should feel
but certainly don't.
Instead the pain I feel,
but once they're gone,
I won't.
Blood at my fingertips,
surely they won't be missed.
Soon they only exist
on the ever
growing
list.
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 11:15 AM UTC