The smoke signals billowing from my Saturday morning window are calls for help I feel I don't deserve to ask for. But I am selfish and weak. An broken attention ***** who hurts in the guise of helping. If you don't understand why I hate myself you don't really know me. Even this is a selfish cry for appreciation bc I am too selfish and weak and I am afraid I will never change.
Jun 13, 2020
Jun 13, 2020 at 3:34 PM UTC
***** and Quims should be worshiped.
For whichever you have, dictates how the rest of your life shall be.
To those who biologically have both, how like gods you seem to me.
To those who spiritually have both, what cursed and barren, in-between lands stock we.
May 10, 2020
May 10, 2020 at 10:14 PM UTC
Something is at war inside of me
Someone said to me
Unless you are
Tired
Stressed
or overworked
And I wanted to say
You just described
My average day
And I was afraid to say it
Afraid not to say it
Afraid I would be a downer if I said that
Afraid I would seem holier than thou if I didn't
Afraid that if I didn't say it I would seem like I was left out of
Or too good for
Our culture
And then I wondered
How did we get here
That they way to fit in
In our culture
Is to be tired, stressed and overworked
And how ****** that is
Nov 12, 2019
Nov 12, 2019 at 9:44 PM UTC
I am half wild
A creature in between
Soft and inviting
Only sometimes seen
Feral and free
At home in the green
Drinking clear water
Pure crystal and clean
Do not seek to tame me
Though I seem serene
I walk in both worlds
My senses keen
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 16, 2019 at 6:17 PM UTC
My family came from Pfolzheim too
I have grown up
with so much shame
for being German
at all
This is what I have struggled with
since Trump got elected
For me I saw quickly through
the thin smoke
what he was all about
That a vote for him was akin to me
of wearing a **** uniform
daily
proudly
publicly
It's not that I hate anyone
It's that in the raw recentness of
MY family history
was instilled in me to know
to FEAR
those attitudes
as though my life depended on it
As it so easily might
Again
So soon
So ******* soon
I fear we have learned nothing
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 12:22 AM UTC
I kiss you
All over
Your entire skin
All the places you hide
From the world
From yourself
I kiss you
not lightly
But hard and deep
So you feel my energy
Go into you
Glowing
With pure golden love
Knowing
That what I feel
Is real
And that you
Must see
Yourself in the way
that I do
And love and know
Yourself
And the magic
And the miracle
And the pleasure
And the treasure
That is you
Aug 17, 2019
Aug 17, 2019 at 11:53 PM UTC
Listening to a song sung by a dead man
That reminds me
of my father, longer dead
I know the lyrics better now
Feel them more deeply
Understand them with
wisdom of more years
More life lived
behind me
Than when I first heard this song
and thought of him
20 years ago
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 6:34 PM UTC
Almost a year gone by
A lifetime good and long
Lived till tired
But oh
Too short
I miss you so
Old friend
You sat with me
In darkness
And in joy
What I wouldn't do
To see you again
I put your ashes
Today
In with the rose
I got for you
I don't care
If talking to it
Makes me crazy
I hope you can
Hear me
I won't say
Goodbye
Instead
I hope we meet again
Friend
Apr 16, 2019
Apr 16, 2019 at 11:44 PM UTC
I feel relaxed
I can breathe
Every cell in my body has stopped being
agitated
afraid
in a constant state of
hope
fear
loss
I feel calm
I don't know if I have
ever
felt this calm
Nothing matters now
because every single thing
that ever can be
is okay
It's beautiful
It's glorious
I want to get used to this feeling
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 7:07 PM UTC
The joining
of your soul to mine
You feel it
My heartbeat
Through your lips
My breath
Swirls
Like painting light
Across your body
Fingertips
Tracing bliss
Of knowing
You are mine
Of mixing
Blessing
With desire
Of sacred acts
Older than memory
Of feeling
Your soul
Blend and curl
Under your skin
Letting me in
Meet me
In the place
we both know
is Home
Where I
Belong to you
With names
I cannot remember
My aching heart
Longs to surrender
To everything
Without fear
Meet me here
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 3:34 AM UTC