*Oh the grace,
with darkness covering your exterior.
Oh that light inside, your grace.
You're so vibrant.
I see you from 1,066 miles away.
Your light guides me through each night,
each morning you wake me.
Grace you are so lovely,
I am so grateful to have met you.
Radiating through my veins, into my heart.
Creating your force field of protection.
With your blessing no man,
no human can harm me.
You're with me, as I am you.
Your grace, I am not worthy.*
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 9:59 AM UTC
I have not shed a tear since we last spoke, I have not tried to speak to you.
I have not worried about what you're doing,
and when my mind wonders to you I remember what you said.
I remember that I am better than that, than being treated any less than a Queen when I treated you like a King.
No excuses, no exceptions.
You're not loving, and we're not making any of it.
You're exempt, and I'm moving on.
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 13, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
simplicity is so beautiful
i cant stop hearing its sweet whispers
they encourage me to believe
to keep my faith, to keep my perk.
i am here, i will be here
don't stop speaking so softly
i love you, simplicity.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 10:14 PM UTC
I don't think I have quite matured to my fullest,
but I am most definitely matured above cruelty.
You may not mistreat me, lie, cheat, or steal.
You may not crumble my walls that I must rebuild.
Most importantly, you must beware of me.
Beware of my tongue, for now it is sharp.
For now I am bitter, rather than enraged.
I have buried my faith so deep into you,
With nothing left to show for it.
Nothing but the scars on my psyche.
The scars that will blossom into buds,
Beautiful yellow buds that bloom in time.
In time for me to learn my worth, and value.
In order for me to regain the strength I once carried.
It is within, it has not escaped.
It will be freed in time.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 10:05 PM UTC
******* ****** molly, lucy, shrooms
chosen over my kind caress
i wish to help
i am condemned, you are condemned
blame me for seeing it with my own eyes
blame me for loving you with my whole heart
what was i to do, when you asked me to be your boo?
turn away and deny you when i want you too
but i more, you lied; then denied proclaiming accusations
i can't be with you, but god, do i want to
children, ex wife, unemployment when we met
what the **** is wrong with you, and me
what is wrong with me? nothing
just faith
too much faith
maybe it's the ***
maybe it's the snot or the tears
or your tearing through the sheets
trying to get to me as i hide from your rage
too much faith for today,
spend it on yourself
but i dont do what you tell me to
i keep trying to win you
but you're not a special,
especially when you're mean or green with envy
one sided only
but still...
******* ****** molly, lucy, shrooms....
**** if you went deep sea fishing
any of it over my love
my beautiful kind, understanding love that lingers
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 12:22 PM UTC
You are a bicycle,
your rims are rusted;
Rusted to the overblown rubber tire.
Your chain is broken.
We've tried to splice it so many times,
but I'm running out of links and I'm broke.
You broke me, you ran over my foot.
No apologies. Only the reminders you leave like leaches.
"Well, I told you. I'm a bike."
Well, I told you not to hurt me.
Then you deliberately sought out to run over my foot.
Then ask me "Will you pump my tires, will you oil my chain."
I do these things for you, without being asked or appreciated.
Do them because you're my bicycle, and I appreciate you.
For getting me places, and knocking me down
to give me bruises, bumps, and scars
Scars that remind me, I am not a bicycle.
I am the flesh and blood of the world.
I am not a hollow iron cast;
My innards are in motion with my mind and heart.
I gotta stop pumping the tires on this bike, and toss it.
This bicycle gave me tetanus from it's peddles trying to run away.
Stop cutting up my ******* feet, bike.
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 11:42 AM UTC
I've gotten a couple of busted lips,
bruised hips,
migraines, headaches...
Insults,
sarcastic compliments,
and maybe even a single armed hug every other Wednesday.
But no I love you,
I respect you, or I want you.
No initiation to put forth love and express affection.
"Stubborn as a bull", I say to you as I climb your trunk and grab onto your horns.
Can't get away from your demons, can't hear my angels cries.
Throw me into the wall, call me wrong for feeling it.
Reject my wishes, and shame me for wanting something more.
But I weigh it all out and I'm just 7 lbs too few, and I need more.
Because I got too comfortable in your violent mind.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 5:17 PM UTC
I carry burdens like anchors tied to my ankles. They’re pulling me down, and taking me under. I couldn’t forgive myself for the things I’ve done, not even if I tried. Oh how I’ve tried. They weigh me down, and take me out. There’s nothing I can do to be set free, there’s no way for me to feel the way I did once before. They’ll stick with me throughout it all, They’ll stay with me until I fall. The heavy conscience of my regrets, the hardened heart of my own chest. I feel ashamed, I feel no claim. I’ve lied, and I’ve lied. Only to cover my own mistakes, only to dig myself in deeper, only to deal myself no relief. Burdens of anchors, and a conscience of heat, I deal myself no relief. I carry burdens like I carry anchors.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 5:08 PM UTC
I spent years in a seemingly endless depressive state in which I constantly reminded myself of my own mistakes, and tragedies I have been blessed with. Well, they are now blessings to me. Before I was not able to say that, for before they were curses. I am not glad to say that I have grown from them, and no longer let them run my mind on a daily basis, bringing me down in a miserable downpour. I only hope to help others who are stuck in the ruts that I have been through. It may not seem as much, but I was pushed through a lot, and I had never ending depression from the day I turned 6. I am not free of my pain, and I want to free you. Let me free you, let me inspire and challenge your mind. Adventure yourself.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 5:03 PM UTC
You’ve proved them right in your strive to prove them wrong. You’ve shown me the light, you’ve thrown me in. I realize now, I should’ve realized then. I’m just another unfinished book to add to the shelf, I’ve never made anything of myself. I’m wasted youth, like wasted ***** Nothing more, everything less. I’m just another hole in the floor. I’ll grab you by the ankles and pull you down, I’ll tie you to the bottom and wear a crown. But who’d want a crown of this, practically a crown of **** I sit on a throne of wasted desires, and wasted dreams. Ask what it is to be, I’ll tell you what it’s been for me. I know now, I knew then. I’m a queen, but no queen of men. The crown I hold means just one thing, the throne I own has just one meaning. I am the Queen, no queen of men, but the queen of them. The queen of a lost cause, and a broken power. A queen of losers who will devour, my meal though is not of food. My meal for certain is only you.
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 5:03 PM UTC