Laying still as the sun rises
Eyes closed
Thoughts cleared
But if it isn’t the sound of a car driving by
Or the faint creaks of an old house
It is the sound of your body
You’ve quieted your conscience
You’ve blurred all the images
But you can’t stop your breathing
Inhale
Exhale
Right at the peak of tuning it out
Your mouth salivates in all the wrong ways
Swallow and reposition your tongue until it feels right
Silence lessens and so does peace
Time cannot move any slower
You’ve removed your work suit
You’re away from the crowds
You set your alarm and put your phone aside
You yearn for silence many hours of every day
But you will never rest in true silence
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 6:38 PM UTC
I don’t care about the fancy price tags
Don’t care where your next vacations at
All I want is for you to come hold me
Is there room in your heart just for that?
I spent the year collected as can be
While deep inside I drowned in seas
All I want is for you to come see me
All I want for us is love and peace
Is there room in your mind just for that?
Is there room in your heart just for that?
Picking paint colors and welcome mats
In the future maybe buy a pet
And I want to stroll down all the aisles
Walk the supermarket for hundred miles
If it meant that I could see you smile
Is there room in your heart just for a while?
Now time is passing and that’s not bad
But it hurts to see what I don’t have
Every night I toss and turn in bed
Every night your voice, it haunts my head
Wish there wasn’t room in my heart for that
Wish I’d find a way to sleep instead
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 3:30 PM UTC
How can I express what doesn’t exist?
Been hiding feelings since I was a kid.
Dali hit the nail on the head when he implied memories persist.
Though, it’s hard to say that there aren’t people that I miss.
But in specific, I yearn for your immortal eyes.
The ones that shine bright at day but deep at night.
My diary and brain are the only two who know.
Because I didn’t want to let a glimpse show.
Conned myself into feeling nothing for you.
My aching heart grew black and blue.
Where my feelings for you laid now is an empty room
With paint chips, holes in the wall, and a dusty broom.
And I’ve been hiding my feelings since I was a kid.
Unsure of what even truly exists
Or rather, what I forcefully removed
It’s like I lost my natural groove
Just as I thought I’ve finally found it
Now I’m making wishes at a wishing fountain
And I’ve followed all the rules of moving on
I’ve listened to every break up song so this shouldn’t be too long
Now that you don’t exist
Youre something that can’t be missed
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 4:02 AM UTC
I've put in my brain that the idea of perfection does not exist
But, every time your finger's on my lip
I feel my love sink into your fingertip
Perfection was an ideal situation to check off of some sort of list
Your name rings and springs inside of my ears
My heart does the same when I've realized who I've missed
I graze through the space in your room like a museum
While you speak through stories of friends, home, and mom
The Persistence built up to keep the Memory Of bliss
Through change between our previous selves and future
40 Oz's in my body duplicated and so did my slur
The words I attempted to speak hid in both of my fists
The Composition of our connection becomes a debate
To be frank, I haven't felt much since the age of 8
A barrier between you and I that we ignore when we kiss
Like The Lovers we are, we carry on in this Starry Night
The moon behind the cloud's remind me there's no need to fight
The Scream of silence follows us like a snake ready to hiss
But to me you are undoubtedly perfect
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017 at 12:54 PM UTC
The desire of wanting someone to care to know when I've arrived home. Extraordinary yearn for the late night talks on the phone when I've gone through the day and sit alone. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and attempt within attempt I have yet to find another who can find solace in my form of being a lover. I've left marks on the cleanest slates with no fail or sign of difficulty but lately it seems like the world turned it's back on the humanity within me. And would rather face the kind of faces that are deemed worth a million selfies. But I'm selfless.
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 4:03 AM UTC
Water is something that never ceases to both terrify and amaze me. The way liquid can consume me as quickly as fire blazes when a match is struck gently. Isn't it insane? that the very thing our body requires can be the source of such pain? Beyond neck deep and surrounded by crashing waves. A body powerful enough to send the strongest to their graves. And in that you are the same. You are the ocean, you are the flame. The force that pushes me away is the force that forces me back in. I close my eyes and trust the water like I trust your skin. And while I never learned to swim, I learned to sin. And because I never learned to truly think, I sink.
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 3:50 AM UTC
I don't need you to feel complete.
Just like I didn't need you to get back on my feet.
Your soul is filled with filth and grime.
Your ******* up should be a crime.
You wouldn't know a warm heart if it hit you in the face.
You ******* scoundrel, it's best to learn your place.
Jump down into the ground, bury yourself with your shame.
Your blackened heart will one day drive you insane.
I pity the person who endures your ways.
You're wasting life away and ruin good days.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:06 PM UTC
4 am and my pain hasn't gone to bed.
I'm laying still evaluating every word you've said.
4 am and my mind has lost control.
My stomach whirling, my hands so cold.
4 am and I don't know where I am
Lost in a beach of thoughts, each one a grain of sand.
4 am and I can't feel a thing
Close my eyes while the demons sing
4 am and I'm on heavy drugs too
Effects aren't wearing off, neither are my feelings for you
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 4:14 AM UTC
I've heard and read this story over a thousand times.
Two kids at the age of 14 falling in love and calling each other "mine."
Two years later and things aren't set so well.
What felt like heaven morphed into a darker hell.
"How silly of these two to believe in young love.
How ignorant of the girl to put the boy above."
I repeat those words as I continue to read.
Sympathizing what the boy wanted and what the girl felt she needs.
I've since then fell in and out of him.
I lived the story, my mind now dim.
We believed in young love.
I put him above.
I read the same book I read before.
Sympathy became empathy, and I read more.
Every bit of the story sounds familiar.
Reaching the ending drives me crazier.
They always say an old relationship has the same ending.
Rusty trust, salty tears, and repenting.
They say an old love is like rereading the same book.
You know what happens, yet you're still hooked.
"Stop going back, it ends the same, trust me."
But I've always been a fan of painful tragedies.
Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 1:45 AM UTC
"Inhale, breathe, and hold."
Her eyes and smile brighter than the sun spotlighting her.
I did as she told to reach a feeling I've never experienced before.
Surrounded by fresh air and THC filling my lungs.
I look at her, eyes glazier than ever, smile wider than the horizon.
Her laughter and smile cause a fluttering sensation in my veins.
An hour or so later we're alone.
The giggles and feeling still striking.
The room feels as if it's spinning, and I swear the music sounds better.
...if like you should sink down beneath
I stopped hearing the song and soon felt your touch on my body.
"Stop." I say softly, though we both know I don't want you to.
And you don't.
...I liked it at first but the more you laugh the crazier I came
All I remember is your lips on mine now.
All I remember is you crawling your cute self on top of me.
The moment was surreal.
But you had to stop me because it was wrong.
He couldn't find out, I couldn't play along.
But we did it again and again, a bit further each time.
I don't regret it at all, in fact I yearned it.
Your giggling and long hair mesmerized me for a minute.
And that minute felt like forever.
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 12:20 AM UTC