FireheartSpeaks
35/M/Houston, Texas
Just a drifting soul, with a passion for writing. I am a gay recovering heroin addict. it never ends. I love Jim Carroll, William Burroughs, and Romantics. Work can be simple, enlightened, real or weird. You decide. / / Set me on fire if you like me!
I knew you before you knew you;
We knew each other from afar.
When I came out, there was a
New you,
And I saw you a shining star.
How we change and how we
Grow,
The things that we go through,
No one knows,
Oh how much in common,
And teardrops left sodden,
We knew,
Oh we knew,
Yes we knew.
That Somehow we're different,
We're brother and sister
And we knew what the world
Would do.
Today I call myself a wolf
In the morning,
Today I heard you you suffer
Normalcy's mourning
But tonight I can understand you.
Tonight I feel as we should do.
From body to soul,
You and I'll become whole,
No matter what we have to do!
And the stories we've told,
On the days we'll grow old,
Will let others know me and know you.
The things that we change,
To become our true selves,
The moments we live through,
The heaven and hell,
Oh we know the truth,
Yes we do!
We know why we must be true....
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 12:48 AM UTC
Brother.
My brother...
We've been so close,
And yet so far.
Dear brother, my brother...
Distance don't change
Who we are.
We were raised by
Different families,
But take these words
To heart!
O brother, my brother,
Let nothing tear us apart.
Not time, nor distance
Opinions or drugs,
No, brother, my brother,
Just give me a hug.
And even though we
Watch each other afar,
Don't ever forget
Who you and i are.
O brother. My brother.
I won't let us grow apart!
Remember the streets
We used to walk,
On our way to the park.
Remember the table,
It still bears our marks!
I made mine permanent,
It says "Fireheart"
Dear brother, remember
When we had no shame!
We lived our lives risky,
But such a fun game.
Dear brother, remember,
You're never alone!
O brother, my brother,
You can always
Come home...
Apr 8
Apr 8, 2026 at 7:06 AM UTC
Five months ago,
I lost half of myself
My mom's vow
Five months ago,
I lost half of my life,
She was so sweet, she
Taught me to survive.
A woman unlike any other
On this earth,
And she would push me to do my
Best; find my worth.
But now without her,
I'm left a half a man.
A half I'd once been,
And a half in the sand
A half I'd give anything
To see again.
Oh to hear her voice
Call me grandson again...
I feed from the church,
And I steal what I need,.
But something within me
Tells me these are good deeds.
So long as I wake up, And I eat,
And I breathe,
I wonder if someone watched over me...
I want for nothing,
And I want not to need,
I begged for my family
To set me free.
Asking for charity isn't me.
I was raised to give all,
From the shirt off my back
But I'm always left wanting
For those who give back.
I live my lifetime but
I'm so afraid,
Since What I call family
Has come to degrade,
My uncle's favorite saying
Is "I'll see What I can do"
But what IS when it doesn't help you?
My mother did one thing,
She gives me no hugs;
She gave me a number to
Collect her drugs.
So you tell me now,
Who suffers the most,
Who asks and who begs,
And gets no sign of hope.
You tell me why he wants to seek the house
While grandma and I would have left him a mouse .
A dollar, a dollar! She wanted to gift,
To show them that greed is nothing but grift.
One day, one day, my brothers and cousins, my family of blood,
One day, one day,
You'll see that he's mud.
Mar 12
Mar 12, 2026 at 5:07 AM UTC
I was sitting in my class,
When a visitor asked,
"What 'First time' in my life
Was one that I'd take back,
I said "first drink, first smoke,
First shot of ****** first dream,
First hope, and the first time
I lacked. "
He asked what I meant,
I said that I'd been in love,
And one day I'd woken,
And he'd risen above.
And if i could go back,
I'd likely do it all again,
Because we'd lived for the thrill;
Both me and my "Special friend. "
But we'd kept it "down low, "
Even after he'd proposed,
And told me he'd buy or
Steal me a ring once we'd
Gotten whole,
But like so many things,
I've suffered in life,
I lost my love, I lost my
Heart, and even turned
To the knife.
Now it's been thirteen years,
And the wound it still hurts,
Like every year on October 16,
I feel like dirt. Like the tar
That we took,
That one last hit,
That broke us both and left me
Reeling from the shock
Of the loss of you...
I still don't know what to do;
There's so many reasons,
That all through the seasons,
I'm always here, thinking of you.
You would tell me to calm down,
You'd tell me to stop.
You'd stop me from cutting too
Deeply, I'd drop.
But since you've been gone,
I've tried six times, again...
But i know that you're watching me;
You won't let me end...
And i know why...
Because you loved me,
You won't let me die...
Nov 21, 2025
Nov 21, 2025 at 12:08 AM UTC
My grandmother was always
The arm that lifted me;
The strength that filled me,
That allowed me to rise...
I was never the strong one;
Or rather, the wrong one,
But i could do nothing wrong
In her sparkling eyes.
How I've Wasted my life,
Though I masked it in greatness,
How I've sparked, and I've shined,
Though I've left it behind...
All those dreams and ambitions,
That i once called my own,
Have fallen to ruin,
As the house i don't own.
Now my mother and uncle
Are both fighting against me,
And all I ever wanted
Was a home of my own.
"A roof above me,
And a bed below me.
I don't want your world;
I don't ask for more!"
Only what she wishes
To be bestowed me,
All I want is that
Her wishes be born.
I found her at peace,
Sitting upon her chair,
She'd made a vow to Buddha,
And shaved her hair.
Before we could make sure
Her will would be followed
I'm left now alone,
Depressed; feeling hollow.
But still i rise, though I do not want.
Just let me sleep; treat me as I'm gone.
I've no work to sustain me,
Only kindness of friends.
But we all know that someday
That kindness ends.
So now, as i sit, with ***** in hand,
I think of the future,
That thing i can't stand.
"Pugnare Futura!"
I fight till the end.
My family is a pit of snakes...
All I have is my friends...
Nov 20, 2025
Nov 20, 2025 at 10:34 PM UTC
An old man, he once told me,
'Bout a place the mind could see.
About a land of sound and color,
Where I'd finally be free.
And he took me on a journey;
Showed me things the eyes
Can't see,
Taught me lessons that would
Come in dreams,
And follow life with me.
And when I climbed
Atop my mountain,
The horizon greeted me,
And I realized that I had
Closed my eyes
To the beauty before me.
And now, at night,
I see the stars, and I can smile
And reminisce,
And I remember that old man,
Who taught me things
I might've missed.
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 4:00 AM UTC
A pack;
It's what I've always wanted;
A family all my own.
My life, through lessons,
Left me haunted;
I set out on my own.
On my knuckles,
Still fresh with pride,
The ink which marks my path,
I've no true love,
And no true friends,
And I won't hide
My wrath.
The one I could've
Called my own
Is thirteen years now passed;
Yet as a Lone Wolf,
I still roam,
And leave the mark
I cast;
It's not about
The isolation,
Nor that I'm alone.
It's less about the
Loneliness,
More that I feel ALONE.
But still, I've made
My peace inside,
Ask anyone I know!
I travel as a Lone Wolf,
But they all know me,
Where I go.
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 3:13 AM UTC
I drink when I awaken;
I drink until I sleep.
I drink for what I
should forget,
And drink for what
I'll keep.
I drink for all that I
Have lost;
I drink for what I've
Found.
I drink when all my
Friends are here,
And when they aren't
Around.
On every morn',
I have a drink,
To rouse me from
My bed,
And every night
I drink to sleep
When I lay down
My head.
I drink when life
Comes over me;
And when I wish
For death.
I drink because
The 'sober' me
Deserves to not
Draw breath.
I drink when I feel
Happy;
And drink when I'm
Depressed.
And drink to calm my
Racing thoughts;
Allow my mind
A breath.
I've drank for over
Twenty years;
They haven't been
The best...
I'll drink for long as
I am here,
And drink until my death.
Feb 12, 2025
Feb 12, 2025 at 11:51 PM UTC
Yes, finally, I have broken;
There's nothing I can do.
I've nothing left to live for;
Nor to breathe the air
Like you.
You know how people
Always say,
"Well hey, it could be worse?"
Well hi, my name is "Worse,"
I'll introduce myself
To you.
I gave up all my cigarettes,
I've poured out all the *****
But things that should get "better,"
I can't see them like you do.
I wrote a story from my mind,
On a gift that I was given,
Nine chapters pulled from
My behind;
That's humor, if you get it.
My cat knocked down a
Half- full can,
Upon my livelihood;
And now I'm left with nothing,
Yes, I've wondered if I "should.."
I've tried so many times,
I gave up trying long ago;
Swallowed seventy- two Xanax
And took a jump down the bayou.
But for every time I've tried,
Somehow, I still wake up alive,
But tonight for the first time in years,
I truly wished I'd die.
Oh, when you live for nothing,
And all you've left behind,
Are spoken words and stories
That can warp and open minds;
When you live without money;
Left society behind,
You survive on only kindness,
Oh, yeah, any kind you find.
I don't know 'bout tomorrow;
Today has been enough.
But even through my sorrow,
I've felt my heart grow tough.
Now, I must sleep without
My dreams; they're locked behind
A door;
A prison made of plastic,
Metal, and lost
Forevermore.
So now I'm sitting here again,
And poetry I write;
I'm glad nobody's here to see me;
God, I'm such a sight!
My face is boils and scars,
And they continue down my arms;
They wind their way into my mind;
They're even on my heart.
For all I've given up to live
A life I could call mine,
I'm left tonight with nothing,
No; a nothing that is mine.
I'll try my best to get some rest;
And face the day anew,
But finally, I have broken;
Some part of me is "through..."
Jan 19, 2025
Jan 19, 2025 at 1:36 AM UTC
There's an emotion,
It's deep inside;
I think it's buried
Somewhere I can hide.
For plenty of action,
There's no satisfaction;
No want, nor a prayer
Has brought me inaction;
Still I fill my cup,
And I drink from it deeply,
For nothing but sleep
And a fragile peace keep me,
From doing the things that
I see in my dreams;
Acknowledging that
I'm the monster I seem;
With a shrug of a shoulder,
I'll say that it's over,
I'll tell myself I can lament
In a dream,
Yet something so violent,
As real as it seems,
Leaves me with a silence
As I intervene...
Sep 21, 2024
Sep 21, 2024 at 2:41 PM UTC