Let the dust settle
Let time pass to feel at ease
For now the thought
Takes me back to the moment
I feel my head spinning
Like carousels at the fun fair
I need to breathe
I need space
I'm a bubble about to burst
To give in to fatigue
Ears covered so I do not listen to myself
I have so much on my mind
I don't have mind for so much
Jun 22, 2016
Jun 22, 2016 at 7:27 AM UTC
After all this time I’m writing to you again
After everything that we had
After everything we created
Everything that we dreamt
Everything that we could ever be
Here I am writing to you
Wondering what thoughts will cross your mind
When you hold this in your hands
How will you react
Are you going to read it all
Trash it
Did you even opened it
Now I wonder how I would react if you wrote to me…
Pick up the daily letters
Bills and more bills
Water
Gas
Electricity
Then I notice a small envelope
A scruffy handwriting that I recognize
My hands are sweating
Trembling I open it
Wondering what you could possibly want to say after all this time
After all this time I’m writing to you again
After everything that we had
After everything we created
Everything that we dreamt
Everything that we could ever be
Here I am writing to you
Wondering what thoughts will cross your mind
When you hold this in your hands
How will you react
Are you going to read it all
Trash it
Did you even opened it
Now I wonder how I would react if you wrote to me…
Pick up the daily letters
Bills and more bills
Water
Gas
Electricity
Then I notice a small envelope
A scruffy handwriting that I recognize
My hands are sweating
Trembling I open it
Wondering what you could possibly want to say after all this time
After all this time I’m writing to you again
After everything that we had
After everything we created
Everything that we dreamt
Everything that we could ever be
Here I am writing to you
I am sorry
I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused.
The voices in my head became demons
That slowly became me
I am sorry for what I stole
Future
Heart
Soul
I am sorry for the fights we had
Shouting.
Screaming.
I am sorry for leaving
After all this time I’m writing to you again
After everything that we had
After everything we created
Everything that we dreamt
Everything that we could ever be
Here I am writing to you
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 5:49 PM UTC
After all this time I’m writing to you again
After everything that we had
After everything we created
Everything that we dreamt
Everything that we could ever be
Here I am writing to you
Wondering what thoughts will cross your mind
When you hold this in your hands
How will you react
Are you going to read it all
Trash it
Did you even opened it
Now I wonder how I would react if you wrote to me…
Pick up the daily letters
Bills and more bills
Water
Gas
Electricity
Then I notice a small envelope
A scruffy handwriting that I recognize
My hands are sweating
Trembling I open it
Wondering what you could possibly want to say after all this time
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 5:48 PM UTC
From my window I observe the beauty of this city
That I was born in
From my window I watch the river being touch by the sun
Reflecting a light that illuminates the whole city
The light that travels through the streets and eliminates any kind of sadness
The colourful buildings mingle with nature...
So softly
So unique
Just as only Lisbon can
If you hear closely
You can hear the singers singing their hearts out
Singing away their pain
While the guitar accompanies the rhythm of their voices
Echoing
What beautiful melody
Lisbon blessed by Christ the Redeemer
Lisbon, my immortal city
May 2, 2016
May 2, 2016 at 3:31 PM UTC
Want to cry but my tears are drained.
Want to scream but my voice gets quiet.
Want to run but my legs are paralysed.
Everything becomes still, except my thoughts...
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 17, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
It was over
In a space of a heartbeat
Gone
Just like that
It was over
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 4:28 PM UTC
It feels like I am under water and I can barely breath.
I am slowing drowning, but people around me look just fine.
I cry for help but more water enters my heavy lungs.
People stare at me in disbelieve, do they think I am joking?
Another wave comes and the panic grows bigger.
My arms are getting weaker and I can feel my body sinking...
I have nothing left, but hope, so I pray, pray for a God that minutes ago I didn't believe in.
I give all that I have remaining. I cry my heart out for Him, only a miracle would save me...
I thought that was it, I would drown and nobody would even notice.
I take a glance around me and I was closer to shore. I could hear people shouting and having fun.
I was swimming...
My weak arms had gain strength, they were moving, one by one.
The Lord gave me the power to choose weather I would save myself or not...
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
In the garden of life
We have flowers and treat them well
But in the end they always wither
So enjoy every drop watered
Each ray of sunshine
Each day
Every hour
Every second
Because as this flower withers
Only memories will remain
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 3:33 PM UTC
Can you hear my silent scream,
in the middle of this riot?
Can you stop the tears that are rolling down my eyes and burning my face?
Can you hear the voices shouting so loud everything becomes quiet, can't you hear them?
Can you see my body is shaking with fear. Can you help me see the light, when all I see is darkness?
I gasp for air, air that burns my heavy lungs.
Can you help me fight this battle against the monsters within me?
Can you sew my open wounds that bleed everyday?
Can you help me start a revolution in me? No, you can't. I must be lying...
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 10, 2016 at 3:22 PM UTC
In this waiting room
My legs are shaking
My thoughts are spinning around
Waiting for my name to be called
For the solution to start
Standing outside the door
I take a deep breath
Knock knock
"Come in"
Voice inside answers
"What brought you here today?"
I've been practising this line for weeks but my voice still sounds shaken
"I need help, don't know what else to do"
I say, as I roll up my sleeves
A quick look and the expected question
"What lead you to that?"
I take a few moments to get myself together
I know this question was going to come
I try to explain what I don't understand myself
Tears roll down my eyes
I try to speak
My throat is sore
I can barely breath
He writes away on his computer
Occasionally looking at me
I wonder what he is typing?
What he is thinking?
I look at my fresh lines on my wrists
A crimson red that I learn to love and hate
"I'll give you some happy pills, it will make you feel a lot better"
I look at the bottle filled with little pills
That suppose to make me feel better
After three days
All the sadness
The despair
The anger is gone
But so is all the emotions
I feel like a zombie
I feel numb
I feel dead inside
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 12:28 PM UTC