There's a hurricane
brewing in my heart.
Any second now, it will burst.
Ready to unleash every inside.
Finally,
Everything I see is crystal clear.
Nothing can keep me from
conquering my fear.
I may not have won every battle.
But I have one this final war.
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 24, 2018 at 11:16 AM UTC
Trapped inside the mind,
Screaming and yelling to get out.
Prevented by the blockade behind the mouth.
Too many words.
Too many thoughts,
swirling and swimming all around.
Topics of all kinds.
Only to be released by the
bleeding of ink from a pen on paper, scrawling words across the blue lines.
Wanting to voice aloud, cannot find proper phrases.
But placed on paper, the screaming of words mellow, and become coherent.
Unable to be formed in a paragraph, for in the mind if full of rhyme and stanzas.
Tries to wrote for others to understand, but usually writes to clear the mind.
People speak, they are loud or quiet, aggressive or sweet. All able to voice their words aloud.
Not uncomfortable, or scared.
Nor nervous,
Just trying to sort the swirling and swimmingwords.
Words often
s
P
I
R
A
L
into themselves, always getting smaller,
N
E
V
E
R
stopping or
C
H
A
N
G
I
N
G
.
The mind gets lost within the spirals, trying desperately to
E
S
C
A
P
E
through the voice.
Always in search of pen and paper, to scratch things down.
Wants to help other, often doesn’t know how to offer.
Has appreciation for those around, yet doesn’t know how to show or say.
Wanting to speak, mind screaming back, saying to stay quiet from years of being told not to speak.
Still unsure how to properly show affection, to family, friends, and significant other.
Cares a lot, struggling to keep pace.
The only comfort, when thoughts are sorted out through the blood of pens staining the white paper.
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 12:21 AM UTC
Your smile is so captivating.
So sweet, yet with a pinch of mischievousness.
The touch of your hands,
Gentle yet strong.
The sound of your voice, sincere, calming,
inviting, sweet, yet firm.
And eyes that tell a story.
What kind, I have yet to read.
Haven’t gotten close enough.
Not one to approach.
Observing you, from a distance,
able to see your interest
in someone else.
Disappointment rising,
too late once again.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 2:41 PM UTC
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Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 10:24 PM UTC
______
／＞ フ
| ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° l
／' ミ＿_ノ
/ |
/ ヽ ﾉ
│ | | |
／￣| | | |
| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__)
＼二つ
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 10:23 PM UTC
pressure.
Pressure in my mind.
pressure
Reasons to keep acts kind.
pressure.
Expectations to live up to.
pressure.
Social Acceptance feels like an ill-fit shoe
pressure.
Social rejection is far too common
pressure.
Unique people with loud gossip
pressure.
Resist urges to lead a rebellion
Pressure.
Exalt yourself, your inner rebel, and set yourself free.
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 11:16 PM UTC
How do you fix a broken heart,
that has been broken too many times,
by too many people?
And in too many ways?
Not just broken by an ended relationship,
but also by people no longer able to be in their life?
and what about all those times, when no one would help her,
in her darkest times?
What about the friends that stabbed her in the back,
who lied to her,
who used her?
How do you fix a broken heart,
that is no longer in pieces,
but is dust?
Do you just leave her be,
and hope that with time,
she will be over it all?
That she will have healed?
How do you fix a broken heart,
that is torn apart again, and again,
when she is separated from those she longs to be with?
Can you fix a broken heart,
that has been shattered by more than one person?
Shattered by more than one event, more than one reason?
Tell her how to fix her broken heart that sits in a pile of crumbs and dust.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 2:05 PM UTC
Feelings came over me like a
storm for you.
Haven’t felt this storm in
A few years now.
Wanted to get close to you
but stuck viewing and admiring from afar.
Thought you had felt something
As well.
Why else would you have started
talking to me?
Unless, of course, your intentions
were impure. Simply moving from one subject to another.
Thought that this would actually
become something Great.
Unfortunately you had Different plans.
Told me things I didn’t realize I Wanted to hear.
The way you Held me, I felt so
Safe, so Secure.
Your Actions covered up your Thoughts.
Made me feel like a Girl Who Was Wanted .
Caused me, who used to be such a Queen, who
Didn’t Need a King,
Caused my Own heart,
to be
OverThrown.
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 5:52 PM UTC
Swimming in the water
Swimming all around.
Swimming in the ocean.
On my own in my own world.
Just there
And swimming.
Words
Coming to mind without care.
A whirlwind of vocabulary that is hardly kind.
Swimming, flowing constantly throughout
My mind.
Trying to find sleep
Words mingle together
Creating forms that
I must keep.
Deep in conversation
Words begin their journey,
However
I must emphasize,
The words are always
Present.
Just louder during times they
Find fit.
Frustrated, trying to understand what’s going on
Outside my mind,
What’s going on in class
But the words are itching to be written down.
Try an I might, telling the words
“No, not now, I need to sleep,”
but they are words, they do not listen
Never have I fallen prey to the illness that all writers dread,
The sudden block of words flowing to their heads.
It’s quite a shock,
How my words never stop.
Begin writing one series of words, don’t get to finish
As a result of new words, that do
not belong with the
original set.
Finish those, go back finish the others.
Process never stops
Like animals,
attacking without hesitation,
Demanding to be heard
Trillions of words in my head
and on my notebooks
But only mere thousands have been heard.
My words are angry
My words are sad
Filled with joy
Often depressed,
Occasionally coy.
These words make me
For I make these words.
But do not for one second think
That these words are me
These words
Are mere interpretations
Of what I see, hear, and witness.
These words
Are My interpretations of what I see through
Myself, but mostly through the world itself.
These words,
Have driven people mad.
Trying to find sleep,
Words continue to mingle, not as loud
But creating forms I must keep
Trying to find sleep,
These words will be heard
Capture the one that are loudest.
Now my mind has been assured.
Words forming
when instead I should be focusing on dreadful math.
I hear the words
that people say.
Heavy eyelids,
Head spinning,
Just want to rest for a spell
Lightheaded, unconcentrated.
Drowning in words.
Drowning in their noisy sound.
Even now, i am not feeling well.
Some people would call this,
The writers gift
Or is the the curse of words?
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 12, 2018 at 11:16 AM UTC
Try, try, try my best to be positive.
Try try, try some more to please him.
Taking classes that I don't enjoy.
Just to please him.
Go home not knowing what to expect.
Did I do everything that he wanted?
Did I do it to his expectations?
Striving to be the daughter he wants me to be.
(He is trying to live out his childhood dreams through me).
Expectations that I always fail to meet.
Try, try, try not to be in his presence when I cry.
Can't show him, give him the satisfaction.
Try try, try to do everything.
(I just want to avoid his dreadful sting).
Straight A's, a few B's. 3.50 G.P.A.
Not good enough for him.
All A's, 4.00 G.P.A. , is nothing to him.
Try, try, try, I am numb, no more feelings,
my "happiness" is all a lie.
He placed me in NJROTC at my high school,
expecting great things.
Be the top marksman.
But how can I be, if he won't allow me to compete?
Become colorguard commander,
without participating in an y of the events.
Become the CO of the program next year.
Without interacting the way I need to.
He expects all these things from me , and so much more.
Expectations and standards.
But makes it so that they are all impossible to meet.
Try, try, try to be everything he wants me to be.
Try, try, try, and only meet failure.
Fail, fail, fail, makes no difference to him.
Cracking under the pressure,
can't be in the same room as him or my stepmother.
Fail, fail, fail, giving them both reasons to yell at me more.
Fail, fail, fail, why even try, when he really doesn't care?
Fail, fail, fail..........
What else is there to do?
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 22, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC