There’s a little house somewhere with a smokestacks chimney
Evergreens tower the path leading in from the forrest to it’s front door
And a winter girl is set to haunting the halls
Looking for god in places she knows he hasn’t been
Singing off tune to the echoing creek of the floorboards
The winter girl dances listlessly through rooms flash full of longing
Foot steps tracing in a worn path
She stops only to rest at a bassinet in the corner
Where frost first took root
A sudden ending spilling over it’s lace trimmed edges
Solidifying everything into a frozen in time tapestry of glistening ice
A tiny corner of the world folded in
No one any the wiser
Except the evergreens
Dec 12, 2025
Dec 12, 2025 at 4:27 AM UTC
These weeping hands are
No longer guilty
Those arching aching gasps no longer endless
The siren call of empty muffled against
My breast bone by the yawning of my now open heart
A sleepy tired thing
bringing new days into my veins
and with
each one
A glittering new way to be grateful
For the sun,
For my body,
For the the grief that reminds me of how to be a person
Tethered but strong
These weeping hands are no longer guilty
But oh, how the sorrow remembers
- Promise you the grief hurts no less than the emptiness did
Dec 12, 2025
Dec 12, 2025 at 4:22 AM UTC
The hurt says, "I have been looking for you.”
and I was never one for truth but I give it to the hurt anyway
“I can’t let you in because I’m not sure I would ever let you leave."
The hurt gives options "I own destruction or I own empty.”
My heart beats but not because I want it too
I pick destruction
Then when I have destroyed everything around me
The hurt says,“ I can give you anger, I can give you rage.”
I think last time almost ruined me
but I welcome the simmer all the same
I am endless yet I never wanted to be
The hurt is laughing now
“You will break soon, you know you can’t keep me away forever.”
I’ve known since the moment I saw you-
darkening my doorway and stealing my blue skies
keeping you away was never what I wanted
Weeks move into months
The hurt is calm “It is time for me to come back”
I look at the hurt thinking , "Yes. I have kept you waiting long enough”
Let's survive this together
- grief is going to eat me alive
Dec 12, 2025
Dec 12, 2025 at 4:16 AM UTC
I’m not trying to ruin all
Your(our) pretty lies
But I do not think I can go down
This Road that we’ve built for our future
I know when the sun melts into the trees
I'll be standing on this cliffs edge with nothing but regret
If I stay here playing house with you
The love lost between us has jagged edges
And I do not want our children caught on them
The tension laid taunt and suffocating between us
has encased us so wholly that I must break it first before we suffocate
moving swiftly
I climb off this precipice we’ve run ourselves onto
Listen darling
I’ve reached through time and if I leave now
I'll see you aged older with a fond kindness instead of bitter hate
Lets us mature into the people who put down guilt and anger
In the name of what this love has gifted us instead
-I gave you a younger version of my heart thank you for doing good by it
-it's time to go
Nov 4, 2021
Nov 4, 2021 at 5:30 PM UTC
I have my life lined up on the inside of a shelf
at the 7-11 in the grey part of town
I left it there hoping one day
A small someone that's pretending to be complacent
Can come and pick it up
try it on to see how it fits
I leave it behind
Chancing that it will fit them better than it ever did me
- I leave in lessons on folding yourself into a five point pin
And never letting anyone in
Oct 4, 2021
Oct 4, 2021 at 1:32 PM UTC
You're wild like a dream
Half part fantasy & half part real life
Most days
you aren’t sure which one you like better
The girl you want to be or the one you are
- Tell me, which one am I supposed to forgive myself for?
Oct 2, 2021
Oct 2, 2021 at 1:28 AM UTC
My mother always told me,
"A good lie is the best kind of truth that you could ever have.”
And I never understood-
Until I told myself
You were coming back to me.
- I do not think this is how she meant the lesson to be learned
Oct 1, 2021
Oct 1, 2021 at 7:24 PM UTC
I am sitting in the waiting room
underwear off
On a chair that hasn’t been clean since it was installed
Goosebumps trail down my exposed back
The ties of my blue hospital dressing gown
the only barrier between me
and a room of fully clothed strangers
I am sitting in a waiting room
my eyes are burning
and I wish for nothing more
then to have some type of dignity left
But I put it in the white pillow case they give
after telling you to strip yourself of everything you are
It sits between my legs
And just like that I am a blank slate
(Nothing more and a little less than what they need me to be)
I am sitting in a waiting room
And I am the smallest person in every room I walk into
These ones always make me feel smaller
Sep 29, 2021
Sep 29, 2021 at 4:39 PM UTC
I have dirt between my teeth
Between my bed sheets
It falls out of my hair every time I move
It’s beneath my fingernails
no amount of scrubbing will make them clean
& I’m always knee deep
in the graves of all the people I have loved
I keep digging them up
Every time I fall asleep
since I’m sure I've made a mistake
Only to bury them a little deeper
When I don’t like what they have to say
Sep 26, 2021
Sep 26, 2021 at 5:22 PM UTC
On nights that bleed their way into early mornings-
I’m long past giving my nightmares space to dream
Anger has given away to panic
as my fingers weathered and creaked
try to trade in the tidal of emotions for the memory it belongs too
yet I can never calm down enough
to reach what’s waiting on the other side for me
Standing before dawn
all of the remembered mantra's
I’ve spent weeks collecting
slip right through my hands taking everything with them
- The white out of everything else
Sep 20, 2021
Sep 20, 2021 at 8:09 PM UTC