The road is darker in front of me and sometimes I feel myself growing comfortable in the darkness and at times giving up and befriending the darkness.
Maybe I've let my oil run dry?
Maybe I've hid my one talent too long and now I can't seem to find it.
Honestly I just want some temporary relief from the heartache that I feel. Nicotine, *** drugs, alcohol.
I sometimes just want to feel numb and lay down forever.
Mar 19, 2023
Mar 19, 2023 at 11:14 PM UTC
Looking for security but ain't gonna find it in this life
No matter if ya rich or poor,
White or black
Whether or not ya take the covid shot
Here's a little fun fact we all goin die
Tell me can ya add up the years are you an accountant? Or are you a drug dealer selling that white horse, just put a crack rock on ya girls left hand
Then ya go celebrate with some powder and now ya high as a mountain.
Oct 14, 2021
Oct 14, 2021 at 6:36 AM UTC
Most days I feel so lonely
Hide behind this mask like does anybody know me?
Still dealing with the same stuff I dealt with when I was a kid
Maybe I never grew up
Maybe I'm still a kid
Maybe I'll never get over it.
Most days I just wanna lay in bed
Close my eyes and forget about the world cause the world already closed their eyes and forgot about me.
I just feel like I could float away and die
Send me up to heaven with a message in a bottle saying " Return back to sender"
Or go down in hell and hang with some of the family.... probably shouldn't said that... oops my apologies.
Oct 14, 2021
Oct 14, 2021 at 6:19 AM UTC
In the next thirty years I hope I'm a little more secure in my finances and my mental health. I hope thirty years from now I'm not in this mental hell.
Maybe content with the things that didn't work out and who knows maybe I'll have time to work out
Finally forgive my dad for not coming round or we actually work it out
I hope thirty years from now I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin, be happy with who I am and who I'm not that would be an achievement.
Maybe take some risks and see where I land and who knows maybe I'll be a little happier with the end than where I began.
Oct 14, 2021
Oct 14, 2021 at 6:06 AM UTC
Sometimes I think the saddest part of life is how far we come from when we finished to when we started.
My daughter's one years old and I know someday she's going to know what it feels like to not be enough
My cousin wasn't always addicted to the ****** but then he got older had some pain that wouldn't heal so he started medicating and started popping pills then it lead to the hard stuff and now he's not with us
I remember being young and wide eyed, never felt so alive but when I got older something in me died and when I die, I'm gonna die with a broken heart on my sleeve.
Oct 14, 2021
Oct 14, 2021 at 5:57 AM UTC
Are you tired?
Are you weary?
Have the people you once loved left you miles apart
from the person you once knew?
You're not alone in this mystery
All your wounds, all your tears will soon be healed
You'll be able to tell the tale of victory
How you overcame it all
how you made your own destiny.
Oct 12, 2021
Oct 12, 2021 at 4:15 PM UTC
I'm scared of love, I'm scared of lust
I'm afraid if I open up my bank account they'll take the money and run.
Oct 11, 2021
Oct 11, 2021 at 2:15 PM UTC
Please have a seat and tell me why you're here.
Well I'll start from the beginning, grew up in a broken home were the foundation of my heart started to get cracks and what I mean is I grew up with an abusive dad.
I couldn't understand how someone who's supposed to be the rock won't rock with me and he loved throwing the first stones.
As a kid I felt like I viewed life on the outside cause I didn't know who I was inside so I leaned to keep the house the clean just don't look under the rug.
As life progressed I learned that people like to wear masks to mask the pain of abuse, neglect and trauma but take off the mask and you'll see a face with scars from trail of tears.
Doc can you please help me? I'm lost inside and this inner child won't stop crying. He's lost in the grocery store and they keep calling me to come get him but I keep going down the wrong aisle.
Put in my headphones, with my eyes closed and I think I'm finally starting to see that it's not ghost I'm afraid... I'm really afraid of...me.
Oct 10, 2021
Oct 10, 2021 at 7:21 AM UTC
Oh yes, yes, it's me
Want to make you laugh? Just pull my strings.
Want me to make you feel better like it's therapy?
Medicate the things you run from with scriptures out of context
It's such a lonely road and I can barely see who's in front of me... can you help me find my contacts?
See I think God allowed me to preach but not to a congregation but to this person inside who I hide, hoping he stays behind, so I can keep this act up cause I'm afraid I might act up and people gonna see that I'm not preaching to the congregation but to the person I keep imitatin.
Oct 10, 2021
Oct 10, 2021 at 7:08 AM UTC
This hollow shell inside my chest, this faint heartbeat might be the thing that steals my last breath.
Things I thought I had buried are now resurrecting so I've got two options.. either finally face them or keep running and say "forget it"
Some days I feel so lonely, I'm waiting for the better half of me to finally come and get me but I'm always hiding in the shadows of who I used to be so the only I can be free is if someone turns the light on.
Oct 10, 2021
Oct 10, 2021 at 7:00 AM UTC