what if
what if
what if
I hate all the what-ifs
that have been running
through my mind
for the past week
what if I did it sooner?
what if I did it later?
I don't regret
but my mind and my heart can't
diffrenciate
May 2
May 2, 2026 at 1:50 PM UTC
I don’t live in the present
I live in my mind
where things
are more complicated
and over analyzed
where your name
doesn’t repeat itself
a hundred times just for me
to remember it
where I don’t think
about how I’m standing
or how I’m smiling
or if I’m smiling too much
or not enough
If my hands look weird
and
If I’m sweating too much
I live in my mind
where things are very loud
and I am so, very quiet
Oct 6, 2025
Oct 6, 2025 at 5:27 AM UTC
if depression were me
it would paint me
blood red
and
raven black
where my body
is the canvas and
the colors are
my thoughts
if depression were to talk
it would scream at me
that I am
falling behind
and that
I am not inclined
if depression were me
it would beg me to
to leave me
behind
but, I don’t stand still
long enough
to be painted over
Jun 17, 2025
Jun 17, 2025 at 5:35 PM UTC
they say I should forgive him
that no matter what happens in life
he's still my dad
and whatever things
he has said to me
he didn't mean them
or that he just simply
forgot
that whatever wounds
he left me I should just
cover up
put a bandaid
they say
but I tell them
bandaids
don't fix bullet holes
Sep 16, 2024
Sep 16, 2024 at 4:00 PM UTC
your footsteps
echo through the hall
it truly
makes my skin crawl
it makes me anxious,
it makes me sick
and truly,
I don't know what it is
I think
I associate your footsteps
with something bad
something happened
something sad
something, that weighs heavily
on my back
I tried to think
I tried to remember
but I came back empty
empty of memories
empty of meaning
empty of all the things
I should be feeling
so tell me
why your footsteps
makes my skin crawl?
I just want to know
how to deal with it all
Jun 15, 2024
Jun 15, 2024 at 11:10 AM UTC
don't
don't ever assume
my "overreaction"
you don't know what happened
for me to react
the way I did
so
sit still
and don't
ever
assume
my reaction
Apr 4, 2024
Apr 4, 2024 at 7:08 PM UTC
My sister
made the same
joke as you
it kinda hurt
because I knew that
you two
would become
really good friends
I wish
you would've
fought harder
I was willing to fight
for you
I was willing
to do
whatever it took
to be with you
I guess that says
more about you
than it does
about me
Feb 17, 2024
Feb 17, 2024 at 11:54 AM UTC
Did you
hear my heart break
when I sat beside you
while you were telling
your life story
that was
one of the moments
where I felt
my heart break
like
𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 break
The first time
had something to do with you
but,
this time
this time was different
because this time
I felt helpless
because this time
I couldn't do anything
except
hear you cry
Feb 17, 2024
Feb 17, 2024 at 11:53 AM UTC