I hear you in the silence, see you in the darkness
Yet alone has never felt more lonesome than today
I bare the weight of a love-lost heart
And I dream of you. Dream of you.
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go when love is the fear
Where does this go from here?
I’m walking into places where I’ve only run away
This can only end badly.
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
Do you think there was a time I could have asked you the same thing
And got from you an answer something wildly differently?
Do you remember that first night together and that you did kiss me
Or is dunk a reason that you use to set your burdens free?
And when we sat alone in the dark my head creeping your seat
If I kissed you then, would you remember when?
The next time that we meet
Or would you have turned away?
Left me with nothing to say
Holding regret upon my face you’d walk from my disgrace
And leave me to where?
Well I already made it there.
And I didn’t have to try so hard to miss you in that regard
No, I found it anyway.
Now what should I say?
The next time that we meet
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 22, 2015 at 3:46 AM UTC
The leaf it will grow on bows stretched so high
Searching for light in the warm summer sky.
Dancing around in the cool summer’s breeze,
The leaf worries not of those other trees.
It dances and sways as green as the grass
Forgetting the time that creeps up to pass.
And when the breeze cools, the leaf carries on
Fearing for naught of seasons come gone.
But soon the air chills as autumn has come,
And brown turns a leaf that’s forced to succumb.
And soon the leaf falls as slowly it dies
Tired of holding to surviving’s guise.
It falls and it flails, resisting the speed
Trying so hard to deny fate’s accede.
But the autumn fall comes every year still,
Taking the leaves down against their will.
But now it may rest below with its friends
Released of the woe of how it all ends.
Crisp and bright hued, the ground coverall;
The autumn has come to reclaim the fall.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 12:43 AM UTC
My mind is filled with memories of the future.
Of times with us, set to the tune of romance.
Creating moments as adults of an immature
Nature, laughing at every unfunny chance.
Lying together with your head on my arm
And hand placed on my chest
We both will fall to each other’s charm
As we finally put worries to rest.
I remember the first time we’ll hold hands.
Stealthily intertwining our fingers in reticence.
Halting, with a touch, moments and plans
For a memorial moment of precedence.
I’ll realize then I’ve been disarmed
Unable–‘though I’ve tried my best–
To hold back that which could be harmed
And let my feelings be expressed.
I remember the memories of imminence.
Of times of romance still to come.
And to the seeded fears of reverence
I will, for future’s sake, not succumb.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 6:07 PM UTC
“You never write anymore,” she tells me.
“That’s not true.” I write all the time. I write on paper and pages, both real and digital, words meant for nothing more than to be deleted and thrown away. I write in my mind and from the heart. I scribble on my skin, tracing letters on my forearm with fingertips instead of ink. I jot down lines on napkins with straw pens filled with water or soda before throwing away soggy wipes of words that will never make it to the eyes of others. I draft stories in the shower or on the road that are forgotten long before the water runs cold or the drive flows home. I compose poetry in my sleep, dreaming of words and rhymes without meter or memory when my head lifts from the pillow. I write all day, constantly, indeliberately. But seldom do I share it.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
I lay in bed listening to My Funny Valentine.
The soft tremble of the trumpet filled my ears
And I forgot, in that instant, what it was to be sad.
I drifted away from worry and consciousness
With an undying desire to be loved without risk of regret.
I let the bass pound in my head like a heartbeat
Tuning my soul to a melody of tranquility.
I closed my eyes and pictured the sound
With waves of light undulating in the darkness
Of my mind as a pathway to the new day ahead.
I drifted to sleep to the sounds of Django and Chet
Letting go of the things I always hold too tightly.
And as the piano tickled my ears in my last cognizant moments
I remember why I put on the music in the first place
And with one seed of thought it was over.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
In your mind you’re trying to find happiness
But you’re not really looking
You just pretend to look.
It comes in waves like the ocean
And you have your back turned.
Sometimes it hits you when you least expect
And what you get isn’t what you wanted
Because what you wanted was on the shore the whole time,
Drifting away further from your view
As the waves and the current take you.
You seem happy but you’re not happy
Because you weren’t looking.
You had your back turned and nearly drowned, you fool.
So you’re wading and you’re waiting for a wave to take you home
But you’re so far out now that you can’t see the shore.
And it’s a chore to swim back but you know you gotta leave
Because the water’s getting colder and the sun’s about to sink.
And you can’t hear a sound
Not even the waves make noise when you’re so far gone.
You’re tired and you’re lonely.
It would be so easy if only giving in was an option,
To let the happiness sink you ‘til you lose or grow fins.
But you’re not a fish,
And the ocean wasn’t what you were looking for,
So you raise your hands up to submit
Or cry for help, whichever comes first.
And you pray that someone saves you
But first you have to admit
That you were just pretending
When you went to go for a swim.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 1:43 AM UTC
What was good was not to last,
‘Though who’s to say that lasting’s right?
A happy heart that’s held too fast
May long for freedoms not as tight.
A man can dream to settle down,
With love behind or at his side.
But when time comes to plant his ground
His dreams uproot, they can’t abide.
His fears and dreams have come to one,
Loving she and freedom too.
And 'though the love is not yet done
The nightmare’s one he can’t undo.
So leave he does, as always done,
The circled clock of time relapse.
But with the future that’s begun
He does it with a heart of scraps.
May 7, 2015
May 7, 2015 at 1:39 AM UTC
I’m just a number. That’s all that I’ll be.
Left in the background of what we used to be.
You’ll count and you’ll add, forgetting our prime
And I’ll be locked in here, without a cosine.
I wish I could subtract from the memories we made.
But numbers are constant and you made the grade.
You've moved on to new ones, as a counter does do
But I am affixed to your number two.
If only I could be a letter instead
I’d spell out the feelings you left in my head
But I’m just a number with a value of none
Looking for someone to complete the sum.
May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 1:16 AM UTC
So far along the patterned stretch
The path begins to fade away.
The weary eyes of traveler man,
That waste of time in gaze and scan,
Must focus now to find a way
Where end does not belong in wretch.
‘Twas boredom that had led him here,
This place on roads less traveled by.
His focus failed to see the signs,
Of fading patterned color lines,
And now it seems his ennui
Will leave him lost and full of fear.
He’ll focus now with tired eyes
To see which way the wander led.
And try his best to right his course,
Without the sight of starting source,
Or of a trail as Hansel’s bread,
In time to ward off his demise.
But truth is that he’s lost afore,
The moment that his mind did stray.
For focus never was his skill,
And letting mind be lost at will
Is the best way to keep at bay
The roads that lead to something more.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015 at 1:52 AM UTC