Depressions-Slave
F/Held Captive By Thoughts
Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, / Or someone you're afraid to love, / Or somewhere you're afraid to go. / It's gonna hurt. / It's gonna hurt because it matters. / ~John Green & David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Liking you...
Is like liking acid;
I know it'll burn me,
But I can't help but pour it on my skin.
Liking you...
Is like liking leaves;
It's there for one season,
But gone for the next.
Liking you...
Is like chasing the winds;
You know you can try to follow,
But there is no way of keeping up.
Liking you...
Is like liking colors;
It has many shades with so many layers,
To peel back and watch as beauty emerges.
Liking you...
Is like running into flames;
You know you'll come out burnt,
But you also know you need the heat it provides.
Liking you....
Is all so different,
But also familiar.
Liking you...
Can not be described using all the words and phrases in the English language;
It is something new and old,
Something scary and bold,
Something that can not be untold.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 4:36 PM UTC
Do you know that tiny feeling,
That starts deep down in the dark hole you call a heart?
That feeling of a candle flickering before the darkness engulfs the light it sparked.
Do you know that growing feeling,
That starts to fight its way to the surface?
That feeling of a hollow space in a vacuum being filled with light, intensity, air, beauty.
Do you know that entrancing feeling,
That starts to show itself to its surrounding bodies?
That feeling of your lung's alveoli once again grasping at the air particles that have crawled their way in through you throat after a deep exhalation.
Do you know that burning feeling,
That licks at the objects surrounding it with magnified intensity?
That feeling of a fire eating at its surroundings with the heat of a thousand suns and the sounds of a million thunderclaps.
Do you know that mortifying fear,
That starts from the surface and crawls its way in, destroying all with beauty in its path?
That feeling of not knowing what'll happen next, at a time where information of the future is what keeps you grounded and fed with the emotions and senses of being alive.
Those are all the feelings of loving someone.
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 11:20 AM UTC
The war between the mind and the heart,
Is one a ****** fight,
Where soldiers are lost,
And dignity is stolen.
Whoever comes out triumphant,
Slathered in the opponent's failure,
Reveals our deepest-rooted canals of fear and needs.
If the heart makes its way out,
Limply and broken,
We know of our need to be loved for,
Or of our raging wanting to help others.
If the mind wins this round,
Fail-proof and fueled with logic,
We recognize our trepidation of seeming weak,
Or of our phobia of getting hurt.
So the next time your mind and heart brawl for the spotlight,
Shine a little bit on both,
Because light in great amounts can shatter all beauty.
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 1:03 PM UTC
I talked to you on the phone,
You asked for my problems,
And I told them to you,
Spilled out all the things wrong with me,
All the things right with me.
You listened.
Said nothing for a while.
And I asked for your problems.
You told me one,
The one issue that you had,
Something that didn't even have to do with you,
One thing so simple and strung together.
And in that moment,
I realized how messed up I was,
How I was a defect.
And I wished,
Silently that night,
That I had your simple life.
I also wondered,
In that cruel head of mine,
If this meant that when harsh reality catches up to you,
Your life will turn sour.
Because how else would it be fair?
Why would pain and suffering,
That I didn't deserve,
Only affect me?
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 1:36 PM UTC
Stars:
.
white specs
.
dimpled into the
.
spilt black ink
.
that stretches on into
.
infinite lengths
.
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 12:16 PM UTC
I broke a little more today,
So here I am,
Writing poems,
Trying to fix the damaged.
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 24, 2018 at 7:08 AM UTC
Ice melts,
It almost always happens.
Did you catch that?
The uncertainty in-between the written words.
Adding 'almost' gives away the secret that ice only melts at a temperature of 0 degrees or higher.
You almost always love me,
Almost always care for me,
Almost always need me,
Almost always something.
I can't blame you for it, now can I?
Blame you for the lies that I made?
For all the rumors that I spread?
For all the hatred that people feel towards you?
For hating me?
No. I can't.
That is almost always your job.
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 11:56 AM UTC
There was someone who opened people,
Unraveled them to show the inner ugliness that they hide with their skin acting like masks;
Sometimes someone will show up that makes you shed your skin,
Opens you up to the harsh world;
The thing is without our masks,
We are turtles without shells,
And turtles without shells never survive,
They're hunted and feasted on;
After he makes you leave your skin,
He prey's on you,
As if you're not humans;
As if your a fish gasping for air,
Just waiting to be plucked off and eaten;
I asked someone to unravel me,
Thought it would make my body lighter,
I was wrong;
I asked him to unravel me,
So he did.
Jan 1, 2018
Jan 1, 2018 at 6:21 AM UTC
There was this boy,
With blue eyes and olive skin,
His body was rigid,
But his heart was not;
There was this girl,
With night-lock black hair and dark bruised lips,
Her face showed emotions,
But she felt nothing;
The boy had nothing to lose anymore,
All he loved was gone,
All he had left was one emotion,
It went by the name Pain;
The girl didn't know what it feels like to lose something you loved,
She never had anything worth caring for in the first place,
She was enslaved by one thing,
It bought her by the name Depression;
They both had nothing to gain or lose,
They decided, separately, to end it all on the top of a cliff,
The girl on the left side, a view of the NYC skyline,
The boy on the right side, a view of the vast graveyard;
They jumped equally, never seeing each other in the process,
Bodies hit the water simultaneously,
The boy in his black tuxedo,
The girl in her white dress;
The waves took the girl deep, deep below,
The salt-infested water rushed in and flooded the boy's lung,
Both felt pain,
So they tried to escape,
Thought there would be an easier way to do this;
The boy swam left,
And the girl swam right,
They collided with one another in the middle,
Grasping at each other;
The water settled around them as they did so,
They became life supporters without meaning to,
And as the sun dipped at its horizon,
And the stars stole the night sky;
They lay there,
Afloat,
Drifting on to their future,
Finding a reason to live in each other.
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 28, 2017 at 2:23 PM UTC
Pain radiates through my body,
like blood scrapes through vessels;
Air spills out of my bare lungs,
like soft water rushing down a river;
It’s love shatters my heart,
like glass broken by a wielded, naked metal;
It grits at my body,
Like gasoline bruised by a burning flame.
Lick at the soft temple buried in my bare heart,
Blaze with astonishing fire;
Soften at the scrape of a single whisper,
Morph into dust;
Quiver at my single touch, breath, look, voice, emotion;
Be mine to hold stripped of shame, hesitancy, lust;
Be mine to hold as yourself.
I burn with desire,
To feel flesh among skin;
I urge for the need to evaporate,
To be inhaled by him;
The pain that throbs in my heart,
Like a vessel split loose by a burning need;
To feel flesh among skin,
To be inhaled by him.
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 23, 2017 at 2:09 PM UTC