The weather was fair and windy
You tidied up my solitude
Pulled it closer and deciphered
what is love and fear
I'm dancing, I'm dancing
It was new year, the time I felt so near to love
Yet so closer to you
and us against the world
*My dear
My darling
My love
I see that flickering thick wall, growing thicker, and thicker, and thinner
Never, you never smash it.
Or break, or climb, or hurt the physics of what I've built.
You kiss.
Hug that rough cement fence
till it melts.
"I'm here"
You say
windy, breezy, beauty
and music to my ears
Please be happy
Please be kind to yourself
Please protect yourself
for me.
(*)
While I am away
While I couldn't hug you tight like I was dreaming to.
Jan 23, 2022
Jan 23, 2022 at 10:03 AM UTC
I was rugged when I hear you sing
I was torn when sunray says you just wing
Winging out of me, dearly, powerfully, menacely
Your being sparks my poetic eyes
and yours lie the same gentlest
I hear you sing this first time
And hope is suddenly spooned
by torment
by prescribed impossibility
that I could never be anything
but a listener
lasting in a far away land
clouding myself with poor mud
repeating your voice
with warmth as wishes of the false kitty
meawing at your soul
that's already reserved for the other.
Jan 3, 2021
Jan 3, 2021 at 2:33 PM UTC
You are all over my head.
Turning, spinning, fleeing,
you are leaving.
Signs are noticed,
signs that you are straying
or it's just nothing's ever happened.
Patience treats me as its intimate patient,
and also fear, and also nonchalant tears.
I try to get so near, my dear.
But i think fear takes me down and down
Smash me, trash me, tool me.
Drain me, drown me, drag me.
Over and over in the dark little corner
where I already hide myself.
Truth wakes me up.
In the morning, it forces me to sleep
on and on
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 22, 2020 at 5:41 AM UTC
And I could be so transparent within you.
Transparent within me in a flash.
I don't know what i expect from the void, from the unknown you
Why am i trying this hard
to know that I've lost along the way.
I don't even know what i expect so much from you
who just live life at your best fragile self.
But it's an unknown area, totally empty space
that i realise that you might never want to pull me over
In my desperate being, I want to ask
But I'm too afraid to lose stern-blinking eyes, timid smirks
and shyness carpets all over your identity pantone.
Lovely you just by whining over petty stuff.
A pastel version of you that leaves me with no trace of leaving.
So tiny pastel that you spills some color over my shoulder,
and i misunderstand that they are all over me.
Is this visible hue?
Can I be visibly spotted?
Can you spare me your idea that tells I'm right here?
See me with a spot awkwardly spotting.
I just want to be seen.
I just want to be seen by you.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 12:24 PM UTC
Well, this is now almost a year
that i'm stuck here
install and uninstalled.
I can't wake up every morning
and feels heartbreak.
it's just no fair
The moment that you play guitar,
is how i surrender
to the fact that i can't lie to myself no more
The moment that i look at you
and you fret
is complicit madness, comic of despair
falls through midnight sky
where those poetic stars are shining so awkwardly
"What a waste i could have been your lover
What a waste i could have been your friend"
Danger,
something is telling i can't be your friend.
I'll be right here no matter how hard i reject and plow myself out
I'll be right here if you could just feel warmth beneath and heaten some joy.
I'll be right here to make sure that flowers could bloom for you, and all ecology of caring is all yours.
I'll be right here looking at your still picture, an evidence of how unrequited love is required since no one cares.
I'll be right here staring in a distance because you wouldn't allow me to get so near.
I'll be right here
And i'll be gone.
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 28, 2019 at 12:45 AM UTC
Someday
I would read this poem
written on 3:22
and realise
that I like you no more
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 4:23 PM UTC
Suddenly, you leave just like that
No patting to the heart
The art of straying away
play the peakest when you are unaware
The best part
Oh you are my best part
maybe from the start but I'm playing hard to realise
so I fight so bad to had you
You're being loved
in my imagination
You lit the poetic version of me
Oceans of being free
until you flee very far.
Those days are infatuation,
unabashed awakening of my courage
Yes, those petty things I call it courage
to message love that chirps when you say anything.
Funny enough,
just anything
And that's how the first day of not having you slashes pages of being strangers,
alienating more than I feel to myself and this world.
I will remember those flickering eyes
Your teasing smiles
aligned with tender awkwardness,
my personal poet between blinking eyes.
Good very bye
Suddenly, you leave just like that.
Like how the Prophet says
Your name same as the author
says that I have the broken wings.
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 20, 2019 at 3:55 AM UTC
And I though it would be so easy breezy for me now to meet you
I would have hold tight to what the moment gives
and leave without a trace of love madness
You were here
exactly right here mirroring my eyeballs
and I think the ethereal of heartbroken died for a while
But it revives with misled mind of mind
Purify me and my wonderland imagination
Your distorted childhood, feminism freak, squeaked smirk
Political identity, freeform taste of melody, dictated-free charm
and yes
Your eyes that seem to flash atomic affection for seconds
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 3:26 PM UTC
My eyes staying in your veil of poetic peace,
squeezing out fear and intimidating fact
that the void will be coined
by the other
The horizontal slides from its straight ruler
certificating broken sunlight against the blind bokeh,
swaying the Nos, I'll be going when my time can't hold the truth
Your identity softens my years of solitary
my fear trips over your sincerity,
but I know it's hard to gaze at the sea
when the wave crashes down on my knees
My last plea
is could you not stray away from me
I can do best by turning back against the sea
and be as the weak wind
So you can take the hold of the blow
So I was told that I was gone
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 2:22 PM UTC
Dwelling in letters
somehow makes you suffer than looking at the Moon
and imagine whether
he will ever stare back
with just a preview of how love looks like
Smokes are smoldered from the grumpy pipe
sadden the health, the wealth of tears
and disappear
in the thick athletic air
Slippery hope
some of yours lie alright in the future cloud
bounded by logics, flickered with his unfound
but the longest spacebar of hopeless hound is running right now
And you're the fool clown dancing alone in the circus
How do you save yourself from smearing into the blank found
heart breaks so fast
falls incredibly hard
Love tears you apart
At the very moment it didn't even start itself
And that's the preview of how the unlove looks like
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 6:34 AM UTC