The twinklings dizzy daddle,
pad elder skin and wade me through.
Sometimes I wonder if these flickerings
were what guided me to you.
Sometimes I wonder who can guide me,
wade me through the yellow dots
that hide me.
Alas, there's only one to do so, who so
as I have experienced needs more than just a flash.
I guess a flash can be deceiving, I'd rather then
start in darkness and start weaving a network
of my own, a garment to be sewn.
What is useful information, what is worthwhile to do,
I could never know for certain which place I have to go.
To start where I stand, is to look around at what is here.
To accept what is, is to walk from where I stood, not bothered
by distractions that just seem too good.
And when my two overarching goals conflict,
I feel the spots constrict me. All I'm left with
is to wait and try again. As sometimes nothing is the answer
to bravery requiring questions.
As we all stumble, as we all, as we all.
And to be true, seems to me, is then
to wait and try again.
May 23
May 23, 2026 at 4:17 AM UTC
Een put, een gat, speciaal
voor mij gemaakt.
Een net, voor en door
mij gehaakt.
Ostentatief lezen,
dure woorden, zelf prezen.
Kijk *** mooi ik ben
vanbinnen.
Sociale of fysieke dood
en soms
de oneindigheid van 't leven.
Je zou voor minder
jezelf in slaap beven.
Apr 7
Apr 7, 2026 at 9:16 AM UTC
I declare I have decided, starting now
and undivided I will try, yes try, to be
aware and honest
as much I can,
I choose to frame
the positives
and build with blocks
I have instead of dream.
I'll never let off steam,
nor curse at sudden rocks
nor mumble of forgotten socks.
I will value and for the content
not the value on the face.
Of saying no I will be wary,
rather yes to the contrary.
And if I ever meet the mirrored man,
I'll remind him, again, again
of the decisions every day
and how he himself can shape his way.
Maybe he will actually listen
instead of preparing what to say.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 6:17 PM UTC
Hello,
I've come to talk with you
about me
again.
The past will always be ahead,
the things you've done,
the things you've said,
the thread you've spun.
Even if the overcharged words
are spouted from up high,
they don't inspire herds,
they're content with a sigh.
I've wished I was and never did
countless times before.
And every time I hid,
I cut it all and more.
I watch men and think,
why would you do ...
I stare down and sink
into the pain of me too.
If there is just one task we've all been given,
it might be to sift our judgment through,
to crawl from beneath and back to living,
by making up what was lied and what is true.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 6:04 PM UTC
Everything is fear.
The orderly man with lists
and plans, lines and dots
and structured hours,
clenched fists until his whiskey sours,
The frustrated lady yelling
at some teenagers, telling off
the others from behind her
car window, screaming
at whoever that they should be kinder.
That lazy boy procrastinating,
the marathon runner's
serial dating, the stunner
sitting at the end of the row
the balder waiting for his hair to grow.
The sweating, the shivers, damp hands,
laying down and crying rivers,
waiting until the joke lands,
learning this isn't where the other stands
on unnecessary policies.
I have contracted a severe disease.
I googled what it was, a mistake of a decision.
the worst of all possible conditions
it's called tunnel vision.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 5:51 PM UTC
Waarom wil wie
dan ook
succesvol zijn
en wat betekent
dat?
Dat verwondert me
al dagen
en alle dagen dat
dat me verwondert,
vrees ik *** ik zelf
al dagen heb verkwanseld.
Mar 20
Mar 20, 2026 at 5:34 PM UTC
Somehow we learned to link
self-worth to our performances,
our competence, the way we think,
results, money or conformance.
I guess, in some ways, I reached
what I learned to expect,
I ran my marathon.
There are no medals, there is no
glowing warmth inside.
Maybe those achievements
were just another way to hide.
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 5:14 AM UTC
To some the day is just
as daunting
as the night.
They spend it in distrust,
in haunting
of what is right.
They lose it looking
for ways
to avoid the loss of light.
They find it in accepting
these days
the blockage needs no fight.
Feb 16
Feb 16, 2026 at 6:56 AM UTC
The shelf almost as clean
as the refridgerator.
The last smoke I've seen
made pain a liberator.
The ball that cost me,
earns me my life savings.
The day the old lost me,
I stopped giving in to cravings.
I'll always notice the rings,
the slips, the empty pockets.
Even though my life, it sings,
every now and then
the eyes go missing in their sockets.
Feb 9
Feb 9, 2026 at 2:59 AM UTC
Het leven gaat verder
Het leven gaat voort
Alles dat gebeurt
Gebeurt zoals het hoort
Jan 31
Jan 31, 2026 at 2:48 AM UTC