I guess I wanted you to know
this heart
this storm
the way pen and paper does.
I wanted my lips to be yours like morning coffee.
I wanted you to feel what a single song could do to sadness,
what I could do to sadness...
I can’t take it away,
but I could give you a break.
I don’t know why I keep writing about you,
wanting about you,
sleeping about you,
when you don’t have the love want...
maybe not for me.
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019 at 12:20 PM UTC
...trying to take this heart,
this healing,
all this fragile,
day by day
task by task.
a new getting out of bed.
some days I am still healing,
others...
the wound has just
opened back up for me
and I’m stitching,
I’m breathing,
I’m moving always,
but standing still.
...one does not negate the other for me.
but I am here
and I love you.
Aug 11, 2019
Aug 11, 2019 at 8:00 PM UTC
I want to dance alongside the trees and feel free... not just look beautiful.
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019 at 10:03 PM UTC
"… I have all this red wine
and no you to share it with.
I wish you were here...
I'd hold you and
taste wine off your lips
until we needed more
from each other. "
Jul 27, 2019
Jul 27, 2019 at 1:23 PM UTC
I’m not ok
And I’m done letting that break my heart.
I’m going to forgive myself first this time.
I’m not going to add my disappointment to my situation.
I don’t want to add lightning to dark skies anymore.
And some days it’s ok to put makeup over it and dance.
And I will not let anyone make me feel bad about it.
About being pretty and broken.
About having a big heart but not enough to keep the beating steady.
About wanting your lips as clean up of this mess.
And your hands for grounding.
For needing the sun and coffee just as much as the moon and my pen.
About smiling and breaking at the same time.
About breathing and coming back together at the hands of myself again.
Jul 8, 2019
Jul 8, 2019 at 12:22 PM UTC
I hope you learn to love a woman in her naked, in her **** in her sad. On top of you or standing next to you. I hope you dream of holding her hand, kissing the curve in her neck. I hope you learn to love and hold love close. I hope she makes you find the moment. I hope she gathers you there and holds you. I hope her lips make you forget and remember. I hope you love you so you can build with her. I hope she kisses you when she wants to. I hope you want her to show you.
Jun 19, 2019
Jun 19, 2019 at 10:08 AM UTC
i could plan a vacation in the crook of your neck. in the curve of your hand. in the softness of your lips. i’d never need to rent out a home again. never have to sit still in a car. i’d move when you’d move. i’d inhale at your exhale. bury my heart in yours. you’d become a book to me... another way to travel without leaving.
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 4, 2019 at 11:27 AM UTC
your name is a trigger
for being wanted,
but not loved all the way through.
for being mirror that only reflects the good in you when you feel bad, sad or lonely.
your face triggers seeing myself walking on eggshells
and keeping one foot out the door in love.
your hands are a trigger for being held not tight enough and not nearly long enough.
your existence is a trigger of unrequited love that won’t stop
or fall apart like it should.
May 10, 2019
May 10, 2019 at 11:55 AM UTC
it’s taken me a very long time to realize
you were never what I wanted,
but you looked like it.
you smelled like home,
you felt like peace.
I kept mistaking you for calm
when you were just an empty room when I entered.
...and if this is what love is,
I want no parts of it.
I take away my own joy too much
to allow you to leave me wanting
and waiting too.
I’m so tired of not lying next to love at night and I don’t want to fight for love alone anymore.
May 6, 2019
May 6, 2019 at 9:18 PM UTC
today love looks like
closing out a chapter
and starting brand new.
love looks like dancing into happy
and taking the necessary
deep breaths to get there,
like leaving you beautiful,
but knowing there is more than that
waiting for me.
knowing that I am more than that and I am waiting for me.
love today looks like legs for days
gracing this earth.
vocals for miles hitting all the wrong notes in the worst beautiful way.
but nothing is more freeing than dancing in t-shirt and *******
singing songs with words both made for feeling high and simply feeling.
i’m singing through this chapter and i won’t come back to wait for you.
May 4, 2019
May 4, 2019 at 5:19 PM UTC