I’m healed enough to close the door
But human enough to still look at it
But am I really healed
If the scars are still there
They no longer drip blood
But memories of fear
Yes I’m human
But why does that door
Have to be so **** pretty
Leaving me wanting more
I think I could be healed
And maybe I am
But I’m too human
And the door just won’t slam
I want to leave it behind
But I can’t take my eyes away
So I stare at the door
Day after day
“Healed”
Is what they say
I hear it over and over
Like maybe I’m ok
But that door sits there
Mocking me from afar
I’m so drawn to it
It seems to be ajar
And I remember what’s back there
I remember the pain
But it felt good to feel something
Other than not ok
So yes
I might be healed
But I’m still human
Until that door is sealed
3d ago
May 30, 2026 at 10:55 PM UTC
I hate my body
Because I’m not fat like you see on TV
I don’t sit on the couch all day
Eating chips and candy
But if you put me in a room
Of skinny girls
I would be the biggest one
Hiding behind their perfect blonde curls
I’m the kind of fat
That stays up late browsing
“How much should a 15 year old weigh”
As I’m actively drowning
I’m the kind of fat
That looks in the mirror
And has never liked who she saw
Wishes it was purer
I’m the kind of fat
That people don’t know how to respond
When I mention my insecurities
And so they exchange glances and move on
I’m the kind of fat
That fears leaving home
Because what if there’s food?
I can’t let them know
I’m the kind of fat
That eats
But I hate it
And I wish I could stop
Wish I wasn’t hungry
Wish I would just drop
I’m the kind of fat
That gets upset when my stomach grumbles
But can’t give up food
So I satisfy the rumbles
I’m the kind of fat
That no one really cares about
Too small to be a big girl
Too big to be a small girl
Caught in between worlds
A place where no one goes
Except for the girls
Who are scared and alone
4d ago
May 30, 2026 at 5:03 PM UTC
I promise
I have hurt myself worse
Than you have hurt me
I promise
The blade goes deeper into my skin
Than the words you hurl do
Actually
That’s not quite true
They go down the same distance
Because they are the same
The sharpness of the words
And the sharpness of the blade
Each word is a tally
Marked in red
That pours out my life
Until I am dead
So yes
I might promise
That I don’t care
But one day you will need someone to hurt
And I won’t be there
I’ll be lying in the ground
Still marked with your voice
And I hope you know
This wasn’t a choice
You forced me in here
Holding the blade
You disguised it as words
But it was all the same
They hurt me
And killed me
And then at the end
You still tried to convince me
That you were my friend
So I lay here and think
Night after night
I promise you
I won't be alright
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 10:14 PM UTC
There was never a monster
That slept under my bed
Instead it was awake
Living in my head
The doctors tried to name it
A whole alphabet of names
But no matter what you call it
It’s all the same
It’s simply a monster
That takes over my life
Causes pain and anguish
Holds the blade of the knife
And it doesn’t leave with the blood
Instead it just grows
Because it feasts on the sadness
Delivering sharper blows
And sometimes I wish
There was a monster under my bed
Because that seems less scary
Then the one in my head
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 4:24 PM UTC
We used to be friends
My head and I
But that was before
When “I’m good” wasn’t a lie
We used to be friends
But then the monsters came
They took my whole life
And made me insane
We used to be friends
And I knew I could trust you
But you’re a double edged sword
Part of me, yet you hurt me too.
We used to be friends
But I don’t know who I am anymore
Is my brain the enemy?
Or the ally in this war?
We used to be friends
And I know you’re still here
You remind me every day
Year after year
We used to be friends
But that was before
The monsters took over
Left the bridge torn
We used to be friends
My head and I
But that was before
You made me want to die
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 8:53 PM UTC
It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem
I hate that saying
Because it might be true
But that’s not what the voices sing
The problem might go away
Or it could get worse
But you don’t get to decide
What people feel first
They might feel anger
They might feel pain
They might see blood
Dripping from their veins
And it might be a permanent solution
But who says the problem isn’t permanent too
It can take everything short of your life
Steal the world from you
And I’m not saying you should leave
The world needs you to stay
But you don’t get to minimize others pain
Just so you have something to say
It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem
But that doesn’t mean
That everything you feel
Will one day just leave
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 8:10 PM UTC
The system will ensure you succeed
Is all I hear them say to me
The system will ensure you succeed
But what if the system isn’t for me?
Why would I want a system
That steals children’s dreams?
Takes away their imagination
Forces creativity to hide
Replaces their spirit
With another study guide
It watches over with a smile
As kids go home and cry
“The system” is just all one big lie
And why would I want a system
That makes children want to die
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 9:05 PM UTC
Is it me?
Am I the reason they leave?
Am I the reason that I can’t be loved?
Will I ever be loved?
Who could ever love me?
Why don’t they love me?
How can I be better?
Why am I not good enough?
Why do I fail?
Will I ever be good enough?
Will I ever succeed?
Will there ever come a day where I feel ok?
Why can’t I be happy?
Is it all in my head?
Or is it me?
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 12:55 PM UTC
I’m from a place filled with love
A place filled with kindness and family
Where everyone has a spot that they belong in
I am from a family
A family that day after day, joins together and shares a meal
A family that more than anything, loves each other
A family that means more to me than so many people could even imagine
My family is the people that are always there for me
Parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, even my dog
The people who will never let you fall
Never leave you
Never forget
My family will always be there for me, the way not everyone will
My mom will always being willing to listen, even if I yell
My dad will always offer advice, even if I reject it
My sister will always look up to me, even if I’m unkind
My dog will always want to snuggle, even if I cry into his fur
My family is irreplaceable, and I would never want anything else
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 7:16 PM UTC
I’m tired
Not in the way that I need to go to sleep
I mean, I do
But I’m more tired in the way
That getting out of bed feels like a chore
I’m tired of going through the motions
When I don’t feel like trying
I’m tired of the schoolwork
And the social rules everyone seems to know
I’m tired of not fitting in
I’m tired of hating myself
I’m tired of life
Maybe sleep could fix it after all…
May 4
May 4, 2026 at 9:25 PM UTC