I wanted you to hold me
You did
I was sick, but you held me anyway
You got sick too
And died
Now you can never hold me again
If only I didn't ask
If only you didn't listen
If only
Dec 30, 2021
Dec 30, 2021 at 4:22 PM UTC
For the first time
in a long time
I can finally say
that I am
truly content
with my current
mindset
and
mental stability.
Apr 19, 2021
Apr 19, 2021 at 6:41 PM UTC
I've spent so much time
Learning from other people's
Choices
Experiences
Mistakes
That I've grown comfortable
Living life vicariously
Through others
Instead of living life
Through me
I think it's time I learn to live
Jan 29, 2021
Jan 29, 2021 at 8:02 PM UTC
the cold seeps into my bones
like tea in a cup of hot water
and like the hot tea
it burns me within
with its touch
i hate it
and as i sit on a warm bus
peering out the window
thinking of you
my hatred only grows
Jan 11, 2021
Jan 11, 2021 at 9:48 AM UTC
Why have diamond rings
when I can have you here
beside me?
"Gift" me my weight in gold
and I'll treasure the plastic rings you once
gave for free.
Hand me the world:
I'll hold it close and kiss it
better.
Whisper me a promise of
nothing and I couldn't be any
wetter.
Jan 10, 2021
Jan 10, 2021 at 7:08 PM UTC
I know you probably hate me
and wish I were dead
But no matter
how much resentment
you hold towards me
I will always love
and care for you
Forever
Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 11:28 PM UTC
bright
warm
inviting
Yellow is such a happy color.
So happy, it almost cures my depression.
Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 2:09 PM UTC
I miss you mommy
I think about you a lot
About who you were
And what you were
To me
How kind and self-sacrificing you were
How hardworking
How strong
How beautiful and loving and warm and bright
Oh, how I miss you!
But the more I think about you
The more I realize
Just how fragile
You truly were
How your kindness
And self-sacrificing nature
Was the result of abusive parents
Who constantly molested your body and mind,
Spewing lies of you
Being meaningless and unlovable
As they rubbed their sins and selves upon you
Oh, how you wanted to be loved and needed!
How you used hardwork
To gain the fraudulent love and care
Of rotten people,
Who used you to fill their pockets
And laze around on the back of your efforts.
Oh, how they hurt you!
How your strength
Was throwing up walls
To keep them out,
So they could never penetrate
Deep enough into your heart
To ever hurt you again.
Oh, how you feared they would!
And how your
Beauty,
Love,
Warmth and
Brightness
Was who you truly were
And who you promised yourself to be.
For me
My brother
And my dad
For friends and strangers
My cousins, aunts and uncles
And my horrible grandparents
For all of us
Because it made you feel
Loved and needed
And you were
You were so very
Loved and needed
I hope you knew that you were
I miss you mommy
Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 11:49 AM UTC
I think about dying
At least once a day
It's gotten to the point
Where I crave death:
To the point where suicide
Doesn't seem so bad and selfish and cruel
But more like a solution to all my problems
Of course, I'd rather die
From natural causes
But the progression is way too slow
So, I'm trying to speed it up a little
By destroying my body in the best possible ways:
-Junk food
-Laziness
-And bad ******* hygiene
Jan 8, 2021
Jan 8, 2021 at 12:18 AM UTC
I woke up prepared for an interview I knew would occur
I passed the interview,
Got a good response,
The incentive of good pay,
And a promise of emails to further the process along
I told my brother
He wasn't happy for me
I'm going to tell my dad
He'll be happy for me
I'm going to tell my friend
They'll be happy for me
I wish I could tell my mom
But she's dead
But if she were alive
I know she'd be happy for me
Jan 7, 2021
Jan 7, 2021 at 10:48 AM UTC