So tell me,
what lesson
was I supposed to learn?
That knowing the fire
doesn’t stop
the burn.
That red flags can wave,
and truth can be clear,
but lonely hearts listen
to what they need to hear.
I saw all the signs.
I knew where they led.
I heard that old warning
inside of my head.
You know how this ends.
You’ve been here before.
And still,
I kept reaching
for the half-open door.
Not because I was blind.
Not because I couldn’t see.
But because something in you
felt like shelter to me.
And when you grow up
with love passing through,
you learn to hold tightly
to what reaches you.
You stop asking forever.
You stop asking why.
You just beg for a moment
that doesn’t feel like goodbye.
And maybe it was foolish.
Maybe I knew.
But for one little while,
I felt loved by you.
So I held onto sparks
that were already leaving,
called shadows a home,
called silence believing.
Because when love is rare,
even pain can feel true.
And even a ghost
can feel warm
when it looks like you.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 5:32 AM UTC
Since I was young,
fear made its home
inside my chest—
a locked-up room
I faced alone.
Not monsters,
not the dark,
not shadows
showing teeth.
Something quieter
underneath.
A black tide
beneath my skin,
pulling my heart
deeper in,
down where breath
could never be,
down where no one
came for me.
It was not loneliness.
Loneliness calls.
Sadness cries.
This was silence
behind my eyes.
The knowing
when the day was through,
when every voice
had somewhere to go to,
no one truly
had me.
I had people.
I had names.
I had hands
almost the same.
But no one held
the hidden part,
the small scared place
inside my heart,
the one that learned
to disappear
before it asked
for someone near.
So I carried it
beneath my ribs,
a stone I never
learned to give.
I learned its weight.
I wore it alone.
And somewhere along the way,
I mistook it
for bone.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 5:24 AM UTC
Heartbreak is a unique and profound pain that permeates every part of your being. It causes you to question your identity and forget the goals and aspirations you once had. You lose interest in food and activities that used to bring joy and excitement, which now feel agonizing and unfulfilling. Distractions seem impossible. Attempts to soothe the pain with alcohol only amplify it tenfold. Meeting new people only brings them more vividly to mind because it's too soon; your heart hasn't healed. It remains broken, split in two: one part is light and hollow, lodged between your throat and mouth, while the other feels heavy and dense, constantly sinking into your stomach with unbearable pressure. Time is the only healer, and as it slowly passes,
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 4:51 AM UTC
In the quiet corners of my heart, the lesson learned,
Echoes of truth in whispers, deeply yearned.
No matter the knowledge, the warnings seen clear,
I tread the familiar path, shackled by fear.
Raised in shadows, my life a scripted play,
Destined to repeat, no dawn of a new day.
Ignoring the signs, the red flags that wave,
In the comfort of ignorance, my solace I crave.
Fleeting moments of joy, like petals in the wind,
Grasping at love, though fleeting, a sin.
For in the darkness of my soul's lonely rue,
I cling to the memory of love, however few.
So I walk this path, burdened by my past,
In search of a love that may never last.
For in the tapestry of my life's sad song,
I hold onto love, however fleeting and long.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 4:38 AM UTC