my parents dont love me.
i was an accident.
a mistake.
concieved while they were drunk.
they love my siblings
all of them planned, beautiful, and smart
they could never do anything wrong.
in my parents' eyes.
maybe it's because they weren't prepared
for a second kid.
as they were the first,
third, fourth and fifth.
but not the second.
maybe it's my fault.
after all everything i do is wrong.
i cleaned it wrong.
i made it wrong.
i said it wrong.
and everything i do is bad.
my grades are bad.
my height is bad.
my hearing's bad.
maybe its because
they don't want a broken child.
depression. anxiety. autism.
SI. SH.
who could be more broken
compared to the others?
maybe they were relieved
when i was born half dead
did they really want me here?
maybe they did.
so they could have a scapegoat.
or an example of how not to do things.
or an example of stupid.
My parents don't love me
and they never will.
I'll always be an obligation
and a financial burden.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 10:57 PM UTC
I m sorry that we had to break up
i know you hate me, and i definitely deserve it.
I know I was an *******
And I know we can't even be friends.
But the weight of the world
was crashing down
on my shoulders
my cry for help was ignored
the guilt the guilt the guilt
of a relationship
behind my father's back
oh what he would've done
if he had found out.
and what would my mother think?
what would she have done?
i could think of a few things.
a few terrifying things.
i deserve whatever you do.
i deserve all the pain and heartbreak
that i have caused you.
the hurt that grips your heart and wont let go.
the hurt that causes you to burn yourself.
I deserve it all.
I know you meant that simple **** you"
it was all you could muster
behind the hot, sticky tears.
i know you hate me.
i just hope you know
i hate myself equally as much
for what i did
and also for allowing myself to love in the first place.
Oct 4, 2025
Oct 4, 2025 at 10:36 PM UTC
im beaten with a bat.
it plumets my small round figure
but before i can even react
im thrown into a crowd of people.
most of whom would risk their lives
to catch me if i fall.
but before long
they're the ones who beat me.
and the old abusers have become my friend.
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 10:18 PM UTC
its not that i want views
i just want to be validated
to feel like somebody gets me.
like i'm not a ******
its not that I want friends
i just don't want to be alone.
to feel like i can share my thoughts freely
like i don't have to cower in a corner all day
its not that i want to be happy
i just want to feel normal.
to feel like my conditions don't define me.
to break free from the grasps of
anxiety, depression, addiction.
its not that i want to die
i just don't want to be here anymore.
to not feel anything
to be whole.
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 11:41 PM UTC
The feelings that creep in
after pouring my heart and soul into a piece
knowing how ****** my writing style is
but hoping it will resonate with someone
i scroll to the front page
to see hundreds of likes and positive comments.
scrolling back to my latest work, 1 like. 0 comments.
and the voice that repeats in my head like a mantra
your not good enough
you're not good enough
you're not good enough
until I believe it.
knowing my poems will collect dust
untouched for generations
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 11:29 PM UTC
nyone want to be friends? i swear im really cool. age isn't important but id rather it be relatively close to being a minor. if ur interested, u can shoot me a message and i'll reply asap! :)
Sep 6, 2025
Sep 6, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC
saw my friend and his service dog today
i mentioned how a dog like that
might be beneficial for me.
he said im not disabled.
if only he knew
about the constant panic i keep behind my eyes
for fear of being laughed at
tthe feeling of not being able to breath
like an elephant sitting on your chest
the fear of being talked to by someone i don't know very well
the heart racing
hands sweating
breathing too fast
how do i get out
terror
i face every day.
but must internalize as i was taught.
Sep 6, 2025
Sep 6, 2025 at 10:28 PM UTC
to the man who should have been a dad
I really hope you aren't mad
and learn to teach the littles
beating kids is bad.
you should have been there when i cried out
to catch me and raise me up
not drunk
or drugged
with a belt in hand
for crimes i never committed
please be better for Monica and Henry
and teach them to love its all I ask
To the mother who tried her best
rarely taking time to rest
you did good providing wealth to your family
but the area that you did lack
was finding time to come back
and in all fairness
you did not set
an honest game
i came in last amongst my siblings.
black sheep black sheep was my name
you fixed it perfectly while you sang
So please do try to forget
this child u did so regret
as i left this earth
And to the kids i was raised with
even if you hide behind a mask of rage
i know you love me, page after page.
Homo-Transphobic you may be
twas not your fault you hhated me.
when evil's all u grow to know
then does darkness-based truth doth show.
don't be sad, or feel so haunted
you shall know, this is what i wanted.
Sep 2, 2025
Sep 2, 2025 at 11:08 PM UTC
After the blood stops running
And the relief is over
An almost impossible to describe feeling takes control.
Its anger, regret
Its sadness and pain
Its how could I do such a horrible thing?
Its panicky hiding
Heart rate increasing
Oh my God how do I hide this?
But then after a bit
when bad feelings set in,
The cycle continues again.
Aug 14, 2025
Aug 14, 2025 at 12:02 AM UTC
Hello!
Its great to meet you!
I'm called Immature
But my name is Idiot
But if u don't like that i go by many other things
Such as
Stupid
Fat
Scar face
Band geek
Speech freak
Loser
Weird
Freak eyes
Freak
****
N*gga
sunshine
dog
and others i'm not allowed to say.
Aug 13, 2025
Aug 13, 2025 at 12:08 AM UTC