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Carlsmith20
122/WHY YOU ASKING Shapes and colors and rainbows
Was It Me? Was it me that made you turn away? You said you liked me, treated me right, that day. Was it that I’m too fat, not enough to show, Or that I don’t wear makeup, don’t always glow? Was it me for what I believe, Not trusting in God, refusing to deceive? Was it my laugh, too loud, too free, Or the way I just exist as me? Was it me for things I cannot change, Or for the little ways I feel strange? I’d fix them all if I could, it’s true Every flaw, every doubt, I’d change for you.
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Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 3:22 PM UTC
Was it me?
Her favorite color is yellow, because she's bright as the sun She lagged really loud as if her pain could be outrun She jumped when she talked and smiled when she cried Made herself “Yellow” so no one saw inside She made her self silly She made herself shine All the hurt you had, she turned into a smile everytime She filled up the silence, and softened the room A bust of shiny bright yellow in all your gloom In sixth grade she met a boy He filled her with joy Another boy came with no where to sit The golden trio the called it They left the girl behind They were the best Duo while the yellow girl was denied 7th grade comes she meets two girls They were sweet like pearls The three girls made plans The two girls became fans Blowing the yellow girl away When all she wanted was to stay 8th grade came she found a girl to love 4 months of that "Beautiful" dove They broke up many times Said she was to blame, for those wretched crimes The yellow girl apologized and begged for forgiveness Even though all of that wasn't her sickness 9th grade comes she still smiling and trying She gets a best friend and feels like she's flying That best friend hurts her, by dating someone she did before Smiling on the outside but the inside is a war So shes done trying, Shes not the yellow girl anymore She's closed that **** door The Yellow girl is cold angry and sad For she can't help it but acting glad She's with your heart and will live Because the yellow girl will always forgive
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Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 2:20 PM UTC
The Yellow Girl
Her favorite color is yellow, because she's bright as the sun She lagged really loud as if her pain could be outrun She jumped when she talked and smiled when she cried Made herself “Yellow” so no one saw inside She made her self silly She made herself shine All the hurt you had, she turned into a smile everytime She filled up the silence, and softened the room A bust of shiny bright yellow in all your gloom In sixth grade she met a boy He filled her with joy Another boy came with no where to sit The golden trio the called it They left the girl behind They were the best Duo while the yellow girl was denied 7th grade comes she meets two girls They were sweet like pearls The three girls made plans The two girls became fans Blowing the yellow girl away When all she wanted was to stay 8th grade came she found a girl to love 4 months of that "Beautiful" dove They broke up many times Said she was to blame, for those wretched crimes The yellow girl apologized and begged for forgiveness Even though all of that wasn't her sickness 9th grade comes she still smiling and trying She gets a best friend and feels like she's flying That best friend hurts her, by dating someone she did before Smiling on the outside but the inside is a war So shes done trying, Shes not the yellow girl anymore She's closed that **** door The Yellow girl is cold angry and sad For she can't help it but acting glad She's with your heart and will live Because the yellow girl will always forgive
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36
I will miss you on days turned gray, The way you made the clouds drift away. You made me laugh when I wanted to cry, Turned heavy moments into wings to fly. The jokes we shared no one could get, The secrets whispered I’ll never forget. The smiles we traded, the silly things, The way your presence could give me wings. Even in silence, you made me see, The happy parts of life that belonged to me. Though distance may come, and time may part, You’ll always be a song inside my heart. And when I think of you, I can’t help but ask, Do you still remember… You like Jazz?
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Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 9:31 PM UTC
You Like Jazz?
When I grow up, I want to hear the secrets you hide, the tiny worries tucked inside. I used to say I’d “be a boss,” now I just want to lift the loss. I’ll notice when your laugh is forced, and gently guide you back, of course. When I grow up, I want to catch your frown, turn it softly upside down. I’ll listen close, I’ll hold your hand, not rule a world, but help you stand. I’ll remember the little things you say, the jokes and whispers of your day. When I grow up, I want to share warm smiles, make lonely days feel worth the while. I’ll leave sticky notes with tiny cheer, or hum a tune when no one’s near. The loud power I once craved, feels small next to the joy I’ve saved. When I grow up, I want to plant some hope, a thread of light to help you cope. I’ll make a cup of tea when you feel cold, and listen to the stories you’ve never told. Trophies and titles may shine and gleam, but helping hearts is my true drea
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Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 9:24 PM UTC
When I grow up
I miss it the blade running down my skin to make a map the freedom from the abyss but you took it you found out but didnt help you made me sit in a dark room by myself without my escape the blade, the blood, the safe. Gone thats all I wanted but you took it away now im alone sad and afraid waiting for the day I get my blade
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Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 7:17 PM UTC
I Miss It
The maps on my thigh tell the nights I’ve survived, The quiet battles where I’ve barely arrived. Each line a memory, a storm I’ve contained, A hidden place where my sorrow remained. I scream in silence, I fight in the dark, A secret war leaving its mark. No one can see it, no one can know, The maps on my thigh are the pain I show.
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Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 7:15 PM UTC
The Maps on My thigh
I still love him, though he breaks me inside, His words are storms I cannot hide. He says I’m the reason, the blame, the shame, He calls me cruel, he calls me names. He compares me to ****** though I do no wrong, His anger rages, loud and strong. He says I’m fat, that I’ve made him poor, That I’ve closed the doors he can’t ignore. He tells me I’ve stolen the things he needs, The love, the comfort, the family seeds. I try to breathe, I try to stay, But his words cut deeper every day. And still, despite the bruises, despite the pain, Despite the guilt he tries to make me claim, I love him, I do, in spite of it all, Even when he builds me up to fall. I hate what he does, the hurt, the lies, The empty anger, the bitter cries. But love is stubborn, and I can’t let go, Even when it burns me more than I show. I still love him, though he scars me deep, Though he twists my soul and wakes me from sleep. I hold the hope, small and dim, That someday, maybe, he’ll see me again.
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Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 7:01 PM UTC
I still love him