I’m her lucky star,
I burn fast the silver camera light,
Parading me around in her car,
My little fingers gripping my contract papers,
Holding on with all my might,
She cuts the pastry they gave me into quarters,
My cheeks are getting too round for the photos,
7 years old, already a star,
Hit the wall of adolescence too fast and too hard,
I’m not perfect anymore,
My skin covered in red asteroid craters,
My light burned out before I learned to shine,
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC
When I told Mama I love a girl,
She didn’t take that well,
The whole world turned into a swirl,
We sat in the room for hours,
Tears running down her face,
Words stuck in her throat
I felt like a coward,
Mama had a stroke,
But maybe deep inside, I hoped for more.
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 7:33 PM UTC
Crying Dagestani girl,
Chained to the ground with the weight of her wedding dress,
Forced to walk down that aisle as they change her address,
Even if she wants to hurl.
You were never the princess in pink,
I’m so sorry that you have to have a body.
****** and bruised Dagestani boy,
Bleeding and beat to a pulp,
All because you loved him,
Never allowed to sing his love’s hymn,
Never to be the knight in shining armour,
I’m so sorry that you have to have a body.
Allah won’t love me anymore,
If I don’t accept that,
I’ll be a door mat.
I’m so sorry, прости меня Юля,
For all the lies you were fed,
Your fate lies to crying to sleep in your bed,
Your body betrayed you,
Your creator did too,
Shirt blooms red,
Пожалуйста не плач.
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 7:14 PM UTC
Cannibal lover,
Tell me a star,
Rib my ribcage open and tell me I’ll go far,
Cut my stomach lining,
She taught me how to thing,
I hate everything about my body,
Direct my flesh and put my bones in your sink,
Sheets are my new god,
Can’t leave my bed,
Tangled in my blood stained mess of white and red,
Кровавая кроват,
Жду мою смерть.
Mar 10
Mar 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM UTC
Positioned across the cross,
Strangled with my hijab,
Side to side,
Blowing each candle out.
One by one,
Because holy water runs thicker than blood,
My existence Haram,
أنا آسف يا جدتي
Прости меня мама
Skin pulled taught as the chain rubs into flesh
Sore covered expanse of white,
Forgiveness needs to be earned
Sinner of sinners
Burning for eternity
All because I loved him
All because he loved me
Mar 5
Mar 5, 2026 at 11:40 PM UTC
Lover not a fighter,
Artist not a scholar,
Yearning for a life where I won’t have to wear a white collar,
Mommy what will I be when I grow?
A slave, one forced to live a life of sorrow,
Broken winged bird,
Chained to the ground,
Denied the pleasure of sky,
Wishing to be found,
Found by rebellion,
Found by hope,
In a world where the words that come out of my throat,
Receive a mouthful of soap,
Hoping and praying that things will change,
The kings come to a halt,
Surrender their rage,
Place their crown down,
Write their last page,
A crown forged by the bleeding hands of a lesser slave,
Return thy gold,
His kingdom of lies,
Admit his mistakes, the suffering caused by thy,
For his glistening mountain of gold comes at a price,
A price of flesh not of money of green for which he lies,
Rocky hill of ancestors dug up for oil,
Never caring about the toil,
Oh dear king, have you never ponder?
Maybe theres more lives behind the number on your die?
Feb 18
Feb 18, 2026 at 5:30 AM UTC
High ball trip,
They said I was sick,
Well I’m no longer sick, but I’ll still tell you he is,
I’ll still sip that drink,
See my life roll by in the mirror as blood fills my sink,
Neon burn turns my tongue pink,
My head spins fast and my stomach hurls just as quick,
Rainbow colored addicting swirl,
I told you I was sick,
Feb 18
Feb 18, 2026 at 3:38 AM UTC
Your hair soft in between my fingers,
Eyes of brown where my gaze lingers,
First love, Late spring makes my skin tingle,
Eye opening bloom,
Year full prose runs from my fingers
Hoping I don’t run out of time
Feb 15
Feb 15, 2026 at 9:11 PM UTC
Beyond time,
Beyond life,
Beyond what I’ve seen with my eye,
Beyond the lies,
Beyond my horizon there is a world,
A world that is sweeter,
A world where mothers kiss their children goodnight,
Where fathers teach their daughters how to fight,
A world full of culture,
A world full of zest,
A world full of light,
A world brimming with joy,
Full of yearning,
Hoping the promise is not coy,
A song sung by a bird in its cage,
Even a broken clock is right twice a day,
But the sun will always rise,
And as concrete under my feet changes to grass,
I hope that just over the horizon there are gates of glass,
Opening wide with pride.
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 10:19 PM UTC
The light swirls above the candle filled sky
teeth to flesh
heart to heart
Stern of my ship going straight into mud, sinking deeper and into my heart
born of your flesh
blood of your blood
I speak your tongue but we will never be one
Never will I see again, my eyes lost for a chance at a game above
hand to cheek
eyes looking for a chance at "love"
Angels shaking the hard ivory die, deciding my life with a swift roll of the dice
lie, trick, cheat, love
But the number they rolled were all один, never was I one to win,
My soul took, my hands, my trust, all so I could be enough
My colour drained
my hair has left
my body torn
My ribs poke through and you proclaim how beautiful of a flower I have become, drying under the harsh fluorescent sun,
Love me more,
Love me now,
Never will I be the same again, my teeth taken so I could not bar them as you rip my heart under the dying sun
Your mouth red,
Dyed from my own blood,
Your voice cut through layers of Love
Tainted and ruined never reaching the light above
My blood over the bathroom, my mouth clean and pure
My soul spilled all over and lost like dew,
But never it will be enough for you.
For long I will wait, For long I will ponder
But never will I reach the yonder of respect,
The distant glint on the horizon of love.
Jan 28
Jan 28, 2026 at 6:05 AM UTC