I want to leave this world
Not because I’m sad
But because I’m bored
Nov 22, 2022
Nov 22, 2022 at 12:26 AM UTC
I hate living so ******* much
but I don’t have the guts to tell anyone
My family would accuse me of taking advantage of all the support they’ve given me
My boyfriend would question my love for him
I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me
I just want to disappear and be erased from their minds
Because the last people I want to hurt are the ones who love me the most
Nov 21, 2021
Nov 21, 2021 at 1:53 AM UTC
My mind and my body are slowly growing apart
Physically I’m in my apartment alone writing this
But mentally I’m stuck in a never ending loop that’s constantly reminding me why I’m such a failure
What’s stopping me from being happy?
Nov 21, 2021
Nov 21, 2021 at 1:51 AM UTC
I am lost in the never ending catacombs of my conscious
There is no light to guide me anymore
There’s no one to hold my hand
If I just gave up now
Would anyone come looking for me?
Oct 2, 2021
Oct 2, 2021 at 2:26 PM UTC
You jammed your boney knuckles into my heart
And rearranged it into your likeness
When people said we were perfect for each other
It was all because you shaped me into who I am now
I can still feel your nails ripping away at me even as your gone
While all you feel is bliss as you shape others into you
But I believe you weren’t always like this
For you also had someone grab onto you and shape you this way
Until that was all you knew how to do
I see your gleaming eyes in the others you have inflicted
This cycle will never end
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 10:56 PM UTC
Sometimes at night, I let it get to me
And sometimes, I’m sure it gets all of us
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 10:52 PM UTC
I finally returned home
After a lingering day
I looked into the mirror
my steaming tears snake down my face but I push down my sorrows long enough to forget
The smell of warm sheets right out of the dryer cuddled my body like a tight expecting hug
As I placed my hand upon my heated cheek
I could feel the dampness of my warm skin
I shouldn't worry about a thing right now but I do
Ready to sleep under the glow in the dark stars where my life centered beneath at this time of sorrow
I drift off
--- 6am ---
My eyes abruptly explode open
It's so dark
I can't make out anything
Trying to drift back asleep but my eyes won't close
I try to get up but a force stops me
Moving a muscle is impossible at this point
I opened my mouth to scream in terror but It takes my breath away
I can faintly make out its face
It's me
A perfect copy of my every feature
She doesnt think the same ways as me nevertheless
Taunting me
All my fears spit out her teeth
Just like that she's gone
Now It takes the shape of my loved ones
Surrounding me
They hold me down while I am sleeping and brag how they are perfect
May 1, 2020
May 1, 2020 at 3:13 PM UTC
I have indeed lost my mind
Stuck in a never ending catacomb of mixed emotions
You keep coming back into my life
And every time
I rearranged my bones to create a place for you to stay
My throbbing knees scabbed over
From crawling back to you over and over
I shower you with love until you drown
Because I never learned to love
So I always give too much
When I’m around you
My lungs forget to inflate and collapse
So I choke on my words
I can't breathe
Why do I keep coming back?
Is it because he smells of my childhood home
And that gives me hope and comfort?
Or is it because he takes the numbness away
I would rather feel despair than pure nothingness
I cant distinguish love from comfort
So every time you go back to her
I’ll be here
Waiting
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 7:05 PM UTC