a sequence of numbers i have buried in my head. the moment things unbearable those numbers pop into my head
they tell me to hold on. they tell me to see if tomorrow would be better
they tell me to think of the handful of people i would inconvenience with the news of my death
these numbers are always just on time. just right before i tighten the noose
and just before i fix my mouth to swallow the pills I've collected over time
they remind me of the time i held my stomach for laughing so hard
they remind me of the excitement i had to bring my nephew home from the hospital
they help me be hopeful of my future
Aug 29, 2020
Aug 29, 2020 at 2:15 AM UTC
with every pull from the perfectly rolled blunt,the bad things fade.
the pain
the grief
the lies
the truth
the responsibilities
the pressure
and the burdens
and the world gets off back and i drift to outer space, where life doesn't hurt as much, just bliss...
Apr 18, 2019
Apr 18, 2019 at 12:55 PM UTC
I wish I could talk to you.
Tell you everything that's wrong while you hold me close.
Tell me there's no reason to feel blue.
Then turn on our favorite song.
But instead I'm up wondering what your arms would feel like around me.
What your voice sounds like when your sleepy.
And all the things we could be.
Got me up at 1am, crying.
And maybe you don't even think of me as much as I think of you.
Or at all for that matter.
I wonder if you think of me too.
Imagining how the world would be so much better.
Now hits 2am staring at the ceiling.
Lost in a daze.
Wishing not feel what I'm feeling.
The same feeling I've been feeling for days.
The uncertainty and constant wondering makes me unmotivated.
Why can't I just approach you?
Why am I so shy and isolated?
Was it real or was it all just in my head?
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 1:53 AM UTC
In our past life,
you said you'll back to me.
Back into each other's arms once again, ready to start a new journey.
When I saw you for the first time,
I knew it was you.
Did you realize it was me too?
Finally after all these years,
back together.
But now you shy from me.
Why do you hesitate?
I guess I have to show you that it's time, that we're reunited again...
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 29, 2018 at 12:18 PM UTC
Pain is a familiar feeling.
Almost as if comes naturally.
Pain physically, mentally and emotionally.
It's draining, tiering, and lonely.
But when we're in the same room and our eyes meet for a second,
feels like an eternity of happiness.
I'm wounded,
hurt and overwhelmed with pain...and your my remedy.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 9:24 PM UTC