*I tried to communicate with you
Bared out my soul on my lips and my emotions through my words
Made plain my darkest, most embarrassing insecurities and needs
Not withholding for a moment anything that put me at unease.
I laid my doubts before you: my heart battered, bruised and broken
Craving tender responses, and the gentle soothingness of your reassurance
But words led to arguments, and arguments to distance
As we traded accusations across like terpsichoreans in an impassioned dance
Till suddenly I found myself lonely... and alone
All because I had dared to dislodge emotional cornerstones
So words no longer became the path to emancipating my emotions
I swallowed up my feelings and let them simmer like a slow-brewing potion
For if you cannot feel my pain, laid plain through my words
Then perhaps you can perceive them in my Silence...*
#BlueRain
2017
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 27, 2017 at 4:34 PM UTC
*Darling,
If words could display the extent of my love,
I would endeavour to persuade thee with words from Heaven above
And if gestures were adept at proving my affections
I would endeavour to convey them with my every action
But alas words fail, and actions come to nought
Inadequate a portraying what they ought
So my love, if thou desirest to know
The extent to which my love doth go
Cast aside thy inhibitions and draw nigh into view
And listen to my soul whisper, "I love you."*
*#BlueRain
2017*
May 29, 2017
May 29, 2017 at 8:13 AM UTC
*Look into my hands,
What do they tell you?
Can you decipher? Can you understand
Why they are tinted black & blue?
These hands have fought
Against Life's malicious onslaught
Sailed through the very worst
On Life's savage tempest
Yet for fear of 'breaking character'
Sorrow must be masked with laughter
And pain covered with panache instead
While these hands silently bleed several shades of red...
Welcome to my heart...*
#BlueRain
2017
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:23 AM UTC
*Look into my eyes
And tell me what you see
Do they betray my inner demise?
Or is all still a mystery?
These eyes contain
Their fair share of pain
Disappointments and hurts abound
Failings and sorrows profound
But these tears dare not leak
Nor my facade creak
For fear of casting a doubt
On the Persona I am with-out
So these eyes must continue to show
Their feeble depiction of bravado.
Welcome to my heart...*
*#BlueRain
2017*
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 3, 2017 at 6:07 PM UTC
*[To the outside world]
I am trapped on an island far at sea,
There is no glimpse of life around me.
Alone, cold and desolate,
I was shipwrecked by ‘FATE’.
I have been here for many years,
And the time spent is starting to give me fears.
Fears I may never be able to leave,
Fears I am gradually starting to believe.
Each day I wait in anticipation of a rescue,
Yet each day my hopes are dashed anew.
All I see are the waters before me,
Seagulls flying above in silent mockery.
Flaunting their freedom in ways they please,
I yearn for such a [sweet] release.
**To whoever may read this,
I am stuck in a place of ‘anti-bliss’.**
I am exhausted in both mind and body,
I no longer care what lies ahead of me.
**My skin has been deadened by the scorching sun,
An unfeeling being I have now become.**
Violent winds have undone me,
I no longer see Life’s beauty.
**Only a fragment of hope remains,
That my rescuers will not find my rotting remains.**
To whoever may see,
Have in your in heart some sympathy.
**I am trapped on a island on this deathly ocean,
Where loneliness is a slow killing potion.**
Each day Nature drops a subtle clue,
That my underworld sojourn is long overdue.
This is my last-gasped petition, a last chance plea,
Whoever you are, PLEASE HELP ME!
Time is running out
Signed: Desolate islander…
#BlueRain
2017*
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 5, 2017 at 11:54 AM UTC
*Sometimes I wish I were dead
Locked in a wooden cage and buried six feet under
Just so I wouldn't have to feel.
Or deal with the reality before me
Sometimes I wish my heart could be ripped out &
shattered to pieces before my eyes
To reflect the shattering I feel on the inside.
Sometimes I wish I would stop feeling...
These tears that fall
Are seen as a sign of weakness
But what these tears are
Are a testament of hardships;
Of trying times only the Bravest could survive
These tears
Are a reflection of the open wounds
that still pulsate
Desiring care and healing
But are instead seared open,
& made to bleed all over again.
Welcome to my heart...*
*#BlueRain
2017*
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 5:44 PM UTC
*I gave my Gold to my King,
He rejected it with a venomous sting.
I gave my Diamond to my Queen,
She treated it as though it was something unclean,
I gave my Ruby to my Prince,
His reaction only made me wince.
I gave my Sapphire to my Princess,
Her reaction was by far the worst.
I gave my Silver to the court jester,
His treatment of it was no better.
Saddened, alone and let down,
I quickly left the castle ground.
I found a Pauper on the street,
And laid my jewels down at his feet.
He smiled at what he saw,
Perhaps because he found in them no flaw.
He gathered them & held them close to his chest,
At last! I'd found someone who'd appreciate them best.*
*#BlueRain
2017*
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 5:22 PM UTC
Love, never did I understand it
Gradually consuming your heart bit by bit
To fall in love, I never thought was my fate
A Coward’s Coward, I shunned thoughts of love away
I built a wall around me, impenetrable and strong
To shield my heart, keep out all the wrong
Let you in though, not sure why
Like fire, my being had come alive
Bit by bit, I built my universe around you
Bit by bit, I gained a sense of truth
Bit by bit, it all came tumbling down
Bit by bit, war destroyed my firm ground
Like a dream dissolved, we waned out
Every sense of truth became a waning doubt
Bit by bit I rebuilt my life
After taking all this into my stride
Bit by bit, I learned to move on
Now my heart is once again strong...
#BlueRain
2016
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 6, 2016 at 6:02 AM UTC
*Tears leak out my eyes.
My vision blurred by clouds of emotion.
I hurt, none understand why.*
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 6:40 PM UTC
*She stares at me,
Her eyes seem to search mine.
Her hands stretch towards the division,
Towards that finely marked glass line.
She seems to whisper something,
Sayings too faint to hear.
Yet her lips move with such passion,
As though her utterances are very dear.
I take a step back & stare,
At the being before my eyes.
Torn robes & mangled hair,
And scarred hands to my surprise.
I try to draw close,
Yet I cannot seem to reach.
It's as though a barrier lies between us,
One that I cannot breach.
I looked with more intent,
But the less I saw instead.
Yet in her eyes I could discern,
Something that filled me with dread.
Then suddenly it hit me
From out of nowhere
And like an unraveled mystery
All became clear.
For in my curiosity
And my desire for close inspection
I had failed to see
I was staring at my own reflection
#BlueRain
2016*
Nov 13, 2016
Nov 13, 2016 at 5:22 PM UTC