I thought I knew what love was till I learned it was a empty word said on repeat for 5 years....
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 22, 2017 at 10:42 PM UTC
It's been a while but I'm back, my life has changed significantly and I am happy now. No longer with the guy I was with, he turned out to be not what I expected. With someone new, and he is my life now.
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 5, 2017 at 9:53 AM UTC
I didn't know how much I meant to you entirely, but everyday goes by and I lose my myself when I cant hear from you. You are my other half and I said " I am not giving you a third chance", maybe I wasn't thinking all the way through. After 5 years of hardship, distrust, love, pain, patience, we are still here for each other after that. That is a miracle because most people give up on the people we are. Everytime I see the love in your eyes, I feel the protection in your arms and I sense the 'wow' in your voice of having the honor of being my best friend. I am still in love with you, always will be and that is permanent
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 3:09 PM UTC
I've never felt stuck, not like this. Pleasing my parents but also stabbing them in the back all in one sitting. I don't know how I can keep going with this. I don't know if its depression. You want me to be happy, and me being all the same person, but I don't want to come home to a judgmental father, who yells because I didn't give him the correct answer to life. I just wish you could see the good in him, the love of my life isn't ruining me, the only heart breaking, unbaring, piece to all this is you not accepting him because he didn't show up in a collared shirt, slacks and the perfect church boy look. You were mad because he showed up smelling like a 20 year old, with scars and a broken heart, and a way with words to love me. Its not rocket science, we clicked, accept it, I am tired of crying my eyes out for two hours every night hoping you come back and say "I'm sorry", I'm stuck.
May 24, 2016
May 24, 2016 at 10:31 PM UTC
I don't understand you sometimes, you want me to be happy but I can't be with him. You want me to be the good little girl I am well sorry that is not available. I think of what not to do and some how manage to ***** something up. Why can't we go back to when everything was good and every one was happy with who they are. I don't eat because I am not hungry, I don't talk because I know I will get hurt, but you think its all to fit in with who? I dont' know. But here is me saying I don't care anymore. Here is me saying good luck without me
May 10, 2016
May 10, 2016 at 9:16 PM UTC
What doesn't **** you, makes you wish you were dead
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take
One more moment of this silence, the loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up
It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
Who will fix me now, dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fine, drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take
One more moment of this silence, the loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up
It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
Who will fix me now, dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fine drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
('Cause you know that I can't do this on my own)
(Who will fix me now?)
(Who will fix me now?)
Who will fix me now?
Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 8:49 PM UTC
People ask me how I maintain a smile everyday, how I am still going strong with the one I love, how I hold it in. To be honest, I don't know. I listen to music, draw, and write, sometimes that doesn't cure the need of a hug. Life experience carries me to the full potential of what I know. I have people of all ages asking me for advice, and I tell them to be patient. Let the wave ride out and resume life, don't give your love to someone who doesn't deserve it.
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 29, 2016 at 9:38 PM UTC
I've tried to please everyone I know, but I just kept pushing my issues aside. I didn't hurt to let go of my mistakes the first time, bu know, feels like everything I say has a bigger impact that I thought. I have this amazing ability to sense when something is wrong with someone, a maybe because I have been down that path. I see fear in their eyes and they try to hide it, but once I see it, I latch on whether they like me or not. I've been told that I should be a therapists. I don't know, I can just sense some amazing things though
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016 at 9:43 PM UTC
I have finally found the freedom to be me
I thought it was hard, but I was making it difficult
You stayed with me and helped me even when I pushed you away
I was unbalanced and when I looked back at every bridge I burned
Every scar I made, and every tear I shed, I am truly sorry for the pain
And suffering I put you through. Trust can take a thousand years to earn but only a second to loose. I miss being happy and I am tired of hiding behind a mask of smiles and that where fake. Know I am happy and I do smile because you saw something in me I didn't see before.
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 13, 2016 at 9:17 PM UTC