Seeing him causes a rush like no other.
In my mind, I can see him perfectly.
Like he's never hurt me or made me cry.
Looking at him causes icy shivers to rush down my spine.
You'd never know it by my smile.
Sharp pains erupt within
Me as he batters me again and again.
Inside I am crying; on the outside I am
Lying. I force a smile that isn't real.
Each passing
Second, another person passes me by without noticing.
"Only I will be here!" he screams in a rage.
Falling on my knees, I pray to a god that I'm not sure exists.
Many years later,
I am strong and free.
Never again will I put on a plastic smile while
Everyone around me believes it.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 4:03 PM UTC
Soundlessly I creep
Leaving behind my
Erratic thoughts that threaten to
Eat me alive
Pausing only once at the threshold
Liking the feeling of the
Endless night before me
Softly I go through the doorway
Slipping away into the shadows
No one will know that
I'm gone
Gliding along a moonlit path
Hovering over the small
Town while everyone
Sleeps...until I set the world on fire.
Jul 1, 2015
Jul 1, 2015 at 3:57 PM UTC
Her hair is wild.
Her eyes are filled with wonder.
Her smile is entrancing.
Her every move is hypnotizing.
Her teeth aren't straight.
Her make-up is simple.
Her clothes are comfortable and modest.
Her energy is electric.
Her passion is real.
Her intentions are true.
Her love is strong.
She is a real woman and for that
I love her.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 12:27 PM UTC
I stared across the room at him.
His lips parted slightly as he wrote his name across the page.
When he grinned, his dimples deepened significantly.
His brown eyes sparkled when he glanced out the window.
When I looked at him doing things he didn't realize he did, I fell in love.
Simple gestures like the way he moved his hands when he spoke passionately about something.
The way he ran his hand through his hair when he was nervous.
The way he chewed his lip when he was deep in thought.
Simple and yet oh so important to his entire being.
Everything he is reflects in these simple gestures.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015 at 12:24 PM UTC
Her hair flows wildly in the wind
As she makes her way to the dark, wet sand.
Her sobs are absorbed by the crashing waves
as her body is wracked by the pain inside her.
She stumbles and falls, unable to move her limbs.
Everything in her is screaming for release.
The glint in the moonlight of her beloved
friend and cruel master increases her tears.
She braces herself for the sternness of his voice.
When he leaves she gets up and walks to the end of the earth.
Looking down, she sees the frothy end to her miserable life.
A small turn and she's falling into oblivion.
It consumes her and she tries to fight, but to no avail.
She is soothed by the crashing lullaby and soon sleeps.
The liquids meld into a pastel blossom.
For there is no more pain as she relinquishes her consciousness.
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 12:23 PM UTC
Hating yourself is a level
that takes a lot of pain to achieve.
To truly hate yourself, your whole life
must be swollen with bad memories.
Reliving old pain is another
level of pain that cannot be escaped.
People who relive their pain feel
that they deserve to hurt...but that's not true.
No one should hate themselves,
no matter what has happened in their life.
Every person walking the earth is
special in some way and is needed.
When someone decides that they
aren't needed, then they have decided
to stop looking at the people around them
and seeing just how many people truly care.
Depression is the monster that
sleeps under so many people's beds.
It haunts dreams and tortures the mind.
Depression is something that can ****
Saying all of this has been hard for me because
I've struggled with everything on this list.
Depression, Suicide, Anxiety and so many other
things that affect the mind has happened to me.
Never knowing when it's going to hit is the worst part.
One day is great and the next is a sunken ship
full of heartache, tears and torment.
But, it can be fixed.
I believe that everyday you have a choice.
Everyday can be a happy one.
It's hard sometimes to try and fake the happiness
but after a while...you don't have to fake it.
I love my life and even though I've struggled with
mind crushing depression, terrible anxiety and even the
thoughts of suicide,
I still wake up everyday and am thankful for my life.
I used to believe in god and a few other religions for a while,
but every time I prayed for help...Help didn't come.
I don't say this to anger or upset anyone who is religious.
I say this because it can be done ON YOUR OWN!
I've never been to the point to attempt suicide, but
I've thought about it.
I came back from that and more
and I just hope that maybe sharing this could help someone
who is now in those shoes.
I am so grateful for my life and
all the things each day brings.
Each day I want to help someone else because I know
that sometimes all you want is for someone to care.
I care and I want to help whenever I can.
Just know that someone cares.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 11, 2014 at 4:06 PM UTC
Sitting in class,
thinking about you
and wondering how
I ever became so lucky.
Having you in my life
is enough to keep me happy.
I know you're not mine
but it still feels like you are.
You make me
laugh and you
make me want to
cry
Everything I feel
about you is so
real that it's hard to
keep it a secret
I can't tell you how
I feel because
rejection is something
I cannot face
I want to be confident but
I am not and
because of this I
am losing out on you.
I've seen you looking at me
but I don't think it means anything.
How could I be so dumb?
All I want is you.
If I could find the courage
to tell you how I feel
I only wish that
you'd feel the same way.
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
The center of my universe had been thrown out of orbit.
I feel like everything is caving in.
Life has become dull and meaningless.
Little things affect me more than ever before.
Today my friend said "all you need is love".
I laughed and said all you need is air.
He looked at me strangely but didn't reply.
I wondered what I had said wrong.
Sometimes all I want to
do is get in my car
drive down the highway
and wrap myself around a tree.
I could never do it though.
Every time I picture doing it,
I see my family at my funeral
and I can't go through with it.
Sometimes I feel happy and life
is great but then my
depression kicks in full force
and I see the world for how it really is.
The world is a terrible and scary place.
**** ****** Racism.
Behind every corner something
is lurking, waiting to spring.
All my life I've known I was different.
I knew I wasn't pretty or smart.
I can write and get good grades, but
that doesn't mean I'm anything worth value.
But then the happy times stick their foot in
the door and remind me that I am worth something.
I am a wonderful person and I have a reason to live.
I can change someone's life or help change the world.
I am not very good looking,
I'm not super smart,
but I am me
and that means something.
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
Midnight
Walking alone
Thinking about
You...
Sandy beach
reminds
me of
your curly hair
Beautiful
blue water
reminds me of
your eyes
Seashells that
cut at my feet
remind me of
your words
Trash skittering
across the sand
reminds me of
your tone
I thought
I loved you
but now
I'm not so sure
This beach
is beautiful but
hides many secrets
like you
Everything you've
ever said was
a lie or a threat
and I fell for it
I thought
you loved me
I can see now
that I was mistaken
You never loved me
This beach's beauty
is nothing
but an illusion
And you
are only a
beautiful illusion
created by a lunatic
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 4:02 PM UTC
Dear Alone...
Utterly alone with no one to comfort you.
The days seem endless as you stare at the wall.
No one visits, speaks to you or cares.
You have people to talk to but the sad thing is is that they are only in your mind.
All those little voices are the reason you are here.
Society frowns upon people that can hear the voices.
They think that means you are insane or loony.
But remember that no matter how many straps go around your arms, or how many shots or pills they give you you will always have us.
We live within you and are the reason you aren't completely insane.
We are your voices of reason and you should trust us completely, or else you may never hear from us again.
~Signed,
The Little Voices from Within
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 10:55 AM UTC