I keep wondering what gave me these feelings
Is it the fact that you’re so forbidden?
That all these emotions need to stay hidden
I want access to all the secrets in your heart
I crave to know your past and everything what tears you apart
I think with my heart and not with my head,
I’m falling apart I’m missing your breath
First, I thought it was the numbness from drinking too much
But after came a terribly urge to be close to you, to touch
And maybe I’m sick and tired of how you make everything feel right
And maybe I just couldn’t help myself when you looked at me,
that way, that night
Cause even in a crowded room all I can do is stare at you
And it makes me feel stupid, you don’t have a clue
It was summer when you walked into the garden that day
And every part of my body wished you weren’t gay
Nov 24, 2020
Nov 24, 2020 at 1:22 PM UTC
Yesterday I fell in love with everything you are
The way you kiss me and your cute little face
I always wondered how it would be to be with you
But I never dreamed it could be anything like this
I love the way you look at me, like I'm the only thing that matters
I love the way how shameless your love is for me
You make me feel young and reckless and alive
You make me feel like I can never be too much
The world is a happier place because of you
My heart is happier because of you
And I don't think I can ever get enough of you
In every way possible you make me feel so at home
I can tell you everything, my fears, my secrets, my life
I've never had something this naked and honest
Yesterday you told me about these little butterflies
And maybe I fell in love with you too or maybe I already was
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 4:29 PM UTC
I sleep with a bible in my bed
So I can talk with god about everything I regret
She made me realise there was never too much of me
Maybe there was just too little of you and we couldn’t compare
I sleep with a bible in my bed
Just to keep your demons out
Because you filled my mind with dark thoughts
that sometimes made me think, wanting to die was okay
I like to miss you on Sunday nights
Because on Sunday nights everything feels less like a problem
On Sunday night I can picture us together walking on the beach
Being way too drunk, talking about everything important in life
You would make me laugh and I would kiss you on your cheeks
All these voices and then there was you
A beautiful silence in my world of chaos
Your crazy mind would make mine feel just like home
Maybe you always were like that but I just never noticed
I don’t think I can ever regret you,
You make me smile like no other,
I like to miss you everyday
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 2, 2019 at 4:32 PM UTC
I was *****
and you were not
nobody noticed
cause I smiled a lot
now the pain is killing me
my heart is falling apart
I could never trust or love again
how funny is that
Im so ashamed
and you are not
remember you called me worthless **** a lot
every time you called me that, it made me want to die
cause every part of you loving me felt like a ******* lie
thank you for ****** me.
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 6:56 AM UTC
It was you,
it was me,
it was the silence
underneath the stars
that understood
my heartbeat
and it's racing.
You told me nothing.
I believed everything.
In that moment
I found life.
In that moment
I found you.
Sep 1, 2019
Sep 1, 2019 at 4:45 AM UTC
Summer always was my trigger season
the time were always everything would change
my heart got broken more than once this year
every time you made me feel worthless another piece broke
this cruel summer
I have cried over everything that ever happened to us
I have died about everything that ever happend to me
I have learned how much my own happiness means to me
and that the happiness I always saw in us was dead
loving you was like selfharm,
I know how bad it was and still I could never leave
I needed you to leave first so I could see how much it changed me
the secret sharing stopped, you weren't my favourite person anymore
I wasn't my favourite person anymore
this summer everything changed
I've learned my first crush will be nothing than just a teenage crush
and that it's okay to cry over someone who isn't good for you
this summer I learned it's okay to feel totally ****** up
and that feeling like you are 16 again is totally fine
there is this new someone with beautiful rare eyes and an insanely beautiful smile who I can share my secrets with and be myself with
it's crazy how I can feel more loved and more special with you
you learned me
I am not too much and I deserve to be loved for everything that is me
Aug 26, 2019
Aug 26, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
Once in a while I let everything in
The pain from today, the hurt from yesterday
The pain from five years ago, the hurt from tomorrow
Life is hard when everything around you seems to be falling apart.
I want my daddy to stop dying
and I need my brother to start trying
I want my mother to be less depressed
and I need my brother to get dressed
I want to learn how to deal with my emotions
and I need you to stop me from getting the help I need
because while you were laughing, I was crying
and while you were making fun of me, I was dying
harming myself is the only way to escape this terrible reality.
Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 2:00 PM UTC
Today I cut my ankle
just because I could.
It was a scream for you to love me;
something that you never would
too many secrets hidden in my head
too many secrets that stay in my bed
I love you, I hate you
oh I wish I was dead
your words are like knives
but the pain keeps me alive
my worst addiction, my lovely scars
everything breathing tears me apart.
Feb 26, 2019
Feb 26, 2019 at 1:50 PM UTC
we all have a reason to hate ourselves and I am my own reason.
I remember being little and crying myself to sleep every night
I remember being little and thinking I was just a waste of space
until there was a day I promised myself to never cry again about
something that wasn't worth crying about, something like feelings
when I grew older I learned a lot of people hate them selves
it was normal to not define yourself as something beautiful
I remember being little and crying about the blood on my sheets
I remember being little and falling into this hole of never ending darkness
most of the time I would spend wondering why did you hate me?
why didn't you like me and why would you harm me in this way
I remember meeting this old man on the beach, he had this special gift
I remember him telling me all things about myself and about my life
the older man amazed me with the things he told me, a world opened
he told me I was the most beautiful yet saddest girl in my friend group
I remember making a promise to this stranger about not harming myself..
I remember not showing any emotion or tears while making this promise..
the beach was so magical that day, everything was just perfect that day
and I wish that today was like that day, a perfect day... but with you..
because I am crying now because after four months I broke that promise.
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 8:13 PM UTC
I could hypnotize you with my demonic eyes
and it still wouldn't be enough for you to love me
it was always you who made me laugh and question life
the birds weren't flying for the broken people yesterday
and sometimes being crazy was all what made me feel normal
you make me feel afraid but also make me feel myself
you make me wanna cut my veins and cry my eyes out
the devil itself was made of more beauty than I was
he gave me his eyes but I couldn't compete with his soul
so maybe you were right to leave me standing there
or maybe I was wrong chasing you after you did left me
you were the light in my life but also my darkness
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 10:45 AM UTC