Forget the future, forget the past
Don't get tied up in those places
Live for today like it's your last
without tying your shoelaces
Oct 15, 2023
Oct 15, 2023 at 2:06 AM UTC
My starsign is a capricorn
and this is what it wrote
"You think you are a unicorn
but you are just a goat
Standing on a mountain top
thinking you're a leader
But really your life is a flop
and you're a bottom feeder
Meanwhile your future is so glum
that's beyond hilarious
maybe the blame rests with your mum
you're not a Sagittarius"
Jul 7, 2023
Jul 7, 2023 at 6:07 AM UTC
There's a forest fire in Spain
and a typhoon in Japan
India's in floods from heavy rain
and an earthquake in Bhutan
There's a virus outbreak on a cruise
a ten car pile up on a bridge
and we just received some breaking news
there is no milk in the fridge
and the breaking came with quite a smash
like a collision of tectonic plates
then a loud thump and then a crash
and the slamming of front gates
so you might hear a disturbance great
with wives spitting like they're llamas
that's why early morning in aisle eight
there are husbands in pyjamas
May 13, 2023
May 13, 2023 at 3:20 AM UTC
I need to buy myself new legs
and adjust my thighs
Then remove those dark sleep bags
from beneath my eyes
Get myself a brand new nose
one without a hook
so that i can sideways pose
and not look like a crook
Maybe i should change my face
the whole saggy lot
and pick a more exotic race
as long as i look hot
With my surgeon I'll discuss
my new look and design
It won't be long till all of us
becomes a Frankenstein
Apr 16, 2023
Apr 16, 2023 at 1:12 AM UTC
Copernicus liked to count
all the stars in the sky
until he reached an amount
that was much too high
Copernicus then started counting
once more from the start
but this time as he was recounting
he made himself a chart
Copernicus then saw it clear
as the last star he would enter
was a star that always has been near
and placed his wife at his life's centre
Apr 14, 2023
Apr 14, 2023 at 11:40 PM UTC
These days all that I look forward to
is a lazy lazy Sunday
before I'm thrown back inside the zoo
on a crazy crazy Monday
In a cage with lions, wolves and snakes
and silly chimpanzees
Allowed only two five minute breaks
from stinging busy bees
I count each minute until five
then bolt free like a horse
so I can breathe and briefly feel alive
because a mad mad Tuesdays worse
Nov 22, 2022
Nov 22, 2022 at 11:07 PM UTC
"God sees everything we do"
I saw it last night on a sign
I certainly hope that isn't true
he'll know I'm drinking too much wine
and that I have a smoke or three
sometimes it includes a ****
and my browsing history
is filled with websites that are wrong
This feels really so unfair
I don't know what God does each day ?
I'm sure when he has time to spare
he has a glass of chardonnay
Nov 13, 2022
Nov 13, 2022 at 11:34 PM UTC
I am who I am
and that is all that I'll achieve
I failed trying to be Sam
and couldn't quite be Steve
I almost made it being John
but then it got too much
and when I decided to be Ron
I felt being out of touch
so I resigned just to be me
at least I feel at ease
and all day long I can be free
that even Sam agrees
Sep 24, 2022
Sep 24, 2022 at 9:38 PM UTC
There's not much fun in getting old
when you're getting ready for bed at seven
Middle of summer and you're freezing cold
and half of your friends are in heaven
There's not much fun when you call it a night
after your second glass of wine
and when you're asked to sign but you've lost your sight
and cant find the dotted line
There's not much fun when just one sneeze
can somehow lead to bronchitis
and you ask for a fork when you order Chinese
because your fingers have arthritis
There's not much fun in getting old
no one said ageing is great
so on this summers day while I'm freezing cold
goodnight all its almost eight
Aug 29, 2022
Aug 29, 2022 at 3:46 AM UTC
When I first heard about internet
I thought it was something about fishing
which was posing a massive global threat
and less seafood we'll be dishing
Then I heard about this world wide web
I thought it was something about spiders
Some virus invented in some lab
and only known to a few insiders
Now I hear about something called WiFi
and that it's always dropping out
I think it's something to do with a fly
which keeps landing on my smoked trout
Aug 28, 2022
Aug 28, 2022 at 2:15 AM UTC