"i want to die."
i'm the only one who survived
even if I didn't deserve it
i've lost those that matter the most
they're all gone
my family,
my love,
my friends,
none of them are coming back
it's all my fault
i know
but
my therapist keeps telling me
"i'm okay."
maybe I'll start to believe
if I hear it enough times
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 8:06 AM UTC
feed me
something that's
big enough
for me to
choke on
it's *****
until someone
actually dies
preferably me
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 7:41 AM UTC
Bittersweet.
i was never a fan of that taste--
yet you loved it so much
i hated your grapefruit lip tint the most
and yet the way your lips felt against mine--
it was different.
i mean,
don't get me wrong--
i still hate bittersweet things,
but all because of you--
i might just have to make an exception
it's not as bad as i thought,
but i might need some more convincing--
kisses will do.
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 7, 2018 at 2:37 AM UTC
Cry for the people who were never given a chance to shed a single tear.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 3:22 PM UTC
--and at this point,
i've come to accept
--that what I feel is
not anxiety,
nor is it excitement,
just sheer indifference
--for the future,
i've already abandoned
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 3:18 PM UTC
a beatiful mess of
paint splatters
made more captivating
by the dusting of stars
--random,
yet careful
not to leave one area
untouched, or
given too much
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 6:34 AM UTC
"my house, my rules"
your house, your rules
not ours, never ours.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 2:41 AM UTC
You don't have the right to build your own self-esteem. All you can really do is rely on those around you. That's why their opinions matter so much, and that's why you're so desperate to appease them. Then, you'll realize that they'd simply disregard your work--all because it came from you. Have someone else present it to them with the illusion of another author's name, and they might even praise it. Act as if only your self-perception matters, but really--the most important is the view of others. If that wasn't true, then people wouldn't be killing themselves. That's how the world works, and that's the mechanism you have to work with.
It's nothing difficult. It's just personal.
You, specifically, are a horrible human being. Live with that knowledge, and soon you'll stop being human.
You'd be a tiny speck of dust in an ever changing planet of specials. Yet no matter how hard you hope, you will never be as special as the others. You'd just be someone so extraordinarily ordinary--because that's who you are and who you ever will be.
It annoys you. It makes you mad. It makes you feel negative, yet all that really is is internalized jealousy. Act as if you're a good person, and soon you'll lose your freedom of speech. Build a persona, and soon that'll be your downfall. Cliche. Obvious. It's predictable and overdone, yet no one ever really stops doing it. You need to keep smiling in order to seem more approachable. You need to be friendly to make friends. That's not true. **** will be attracted to **** The pathetic will cling to coat tails and so-called friends that are easy to manipulate. It's disgusting, but it's a decent way of living.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
i'll wake up
to the sound of
a ringing alarm
and pouring rain
rather than
the sound
of your
sleepy voice
and soft
heart beat
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 16, 2018 at 7:43 AM UTC
Until you learn to love yourself,
I'll give enough love for the both of us
--and once you do learn,
I'll still love you the same way I've always had
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 7:22 AM UTC