I found god in a bathroom Stall
At 3am with ***** stains
My body overcome
But my heart craves more
My lungs paying
For what my heart couldn't handle
My body paying
For the mistakes I've made
Bad decision led to no regrets
A freedom from life
A repetitive existentence
With nothing new
And so I rethink life about to die
Chemicals giving me
What people never could
And so I met god in a bathroom stall
Apr 9
Apr 9, 2026 at 3:33 PM UTC
It is eleven at night
The bar is quiet and still
The mind a tsunami in calm oceans
Life a long lasting illness
A glass of wine sits across the table
A temporary cure to the condition
Life has become
In it rests solace and peace
A man in black sits on the opposite chair
He offers to get another
He is taken up on his offer
The wine lasts not five seconds
The man in black speaks
'I have come for you'
The gentleman stands up fixing his chair
'what took you so long'
Feb 8, 2025
Feb 8, 2025 at 5:56 AM UTC
Neon lights flicker
As metal is pressed
Opening a door to another life
One never fully led
People are engrossed in ecstacy
Not knowing what is to come
The barrel is lifted
Shortness of breathe fills the air
Loud music appears silent as the dead
A moment is taken in regret
Doors are opened
No attention can be afforded
The first flash goes off
And the second, the third
Panic overcomes bliss
Selfish action stench throughout
Those present dropping like flies
Flickering lights help save some
And doom others to darkness
The spreading feeling of ecstacy
Has now switched places
A life filled with little to live for
Has now a brief moment of enjoyment
A second moment is taken to appreciate
The carnage of thing unpredicted to come
Flashes continue to ring out
Echoing through halls and stairwells
A room once filled
Now lies empty
Occupants either cower in fire exits
Or present as macabre displays
To lives cut short
Enjoyment has been had
Thrills have been felt
The price for it is accepted
A calm decent to the ground
Is met with a single loud flash
And so chaos turns into peace
As a calm emptiness fills the air
Feb 8, 2025
Feb 8, 2025 at 3:08 AM UTC
Tell me the ways to stay awake
I am haunted
Not by cruel fates
Or distrubing images
But by lives I will never live
People I will never love
And experiences
I will never witness
And so I stay awake
Jan 31, 2025
Jan 31, 2025 at 12:59 AM UTC
And so I behold my manner
So grand in nature
Yet, so vile once entered
Something once pure and clean
Now a wrecked infested wasteland
Creatures crawl over every surface
Breeding without consent
Demanding resources
Taking every scrap they can
A grand ballroom
Baring witness to lushes parties
Now a sharp crunch can be heard with every step
Yet we dance on regardless
Locking our eyes on the still luxurious ceiling
Sudden to bring our eyes down
Over time to keep them distracted
How a chore this will be
One, nobody wants the privilege of
To clean up a mess so great
Time and patience
No interruption required
No encouragement
Nov 26, 2024
Nov 26, 2024 at 2:01 AM UTC
And so I sit
Among addictions and distractions
A constant influx of filth flowing in
Demanding attention, to have someone
Someone forced to listen
To smile at them
Tears creeping down cheeks
My fingers ripping my mouth open
Forming a bright wide smile
For all to beyond
The filth shouting at me
Blaming me for their choices
Screaming as if I am their puppet master
Begging for me to take control
But do nothing differently
My eyes as bright as ever
Looking ever so promising
providing a future, 5 more minutes
However, don't look down please
Below lies a ****** mess of tissue
An instrument once used for deception
Speaking broken promises, actions never to come
But once pure, speaking beauties and tales of wonder
Now sits as a rotten reminder of itself
Skin missing, teeth visible, and still smiling
Jul 13, 2024
Jul 13, 2024 at 6:17 AM UTC
I dream
Of a storm
Of epic scale
One to end it all
I dream
Of staring into it
Seeing the Finality of it all
"I am about to end"
I dream
Of accepting my fate
The hopelessness I'll feel
My whole life summed up
I dream
Of this releasing feeling
A world made clean
Of myself, of everyone.
Feb 13, 2024
Feb 13, 2024 at 8:15 AM UTC
There's a promise given at birth
A word to describe a generation
To give you purpose in life
A phrase to live for
To Tame
God's Promise
Eternal Life
A Friend,An Ally
All meaningless in the face of heartbreak
A pain in the chest
A suffocation as akin to drowning
A wanting lust, in need of love
I followed you all
Through pain, through terrible thoughts
Calling your name from a roof top
Begging for five more minutes
A giant mistake, each and every one
All better off without me
All moving to a brighter future
A world where I was better
Where I loved without resolve
Felt without resistance
And did, without overthinking
If only I had chosen this life
We cant go on doing this
Being selfish and apologizing
Sounding like a broken record
On repeat for those who care to listen
A wise man once said
Am I ever on her mind
Like she's on mine
I'm a fool for her
I was so young girl
I could have done better
We don't feel nothing at all
There's no remorse, just regret
Heaven help me
I fell in love
With your smile
Wanting a life with you alone
Everybody Changed
Right before me
Leaving me behind
Desiring life, happiness
A bottle of stars
Unmaintainable
A imaginary world
Time to wake up
.
Nov 6, 2023
Nov 6, 2023 at 2:04 PM UTC
Demands from every direction
Distractions no longer prolong the pain
Every hobby a pain pill
A tolerance so high
To fly a failure
To fall a certainty
People want this, want that
"Where is mine, where is mine"
To each piece of addiction I sell
A stain of blood appears to grow within
Young souls decomposing
Poison sold as flavored attractions
An unformulated poem written
As other glass keeps my chest warm
One thought circulating a lost mind
A metallic pain pill
Warming a cold heart
Numbness a lust
Music my heroine
Lost in movement
Strange beauties around me
Each one a new love story
A night of pure dopamine
A moment to last forever
A lover never forgotten
No promises, no commitments
All thrown away for a smile
Save your pain for later
Dont bother with your issues
F*ck you, Let go
A hallway of memories
Laid out in front of me
As clear the human condition
Each one a pain stuck in tragedy
Screaming out to me demanding an end
Chasing dreams of satisfaction
Feb 3, 2023
Feb 3, 2023 at 1:15 PM UTC
My love, my life
bound by mind, lust and blood
You a toxic ****
Me, a forest infested
You eat my heart out my chest
I watch you cut it out
Spice it with passion and meaning
and put it back,
clean knife marks dressing it
She touches her lips to mine
As soft as possible,
Placing her hands around my neck.
I feel the rough itch of rope
The tightness I crave
The sudden lunge down, a crack
This will get brutal, if im being honest
She whispers in my ear,
Kissing my ear lobe
Biting it off,
Leaning up, smiling
Blood running down her mouth and neck
Spitting it out
My lovers in a closet
Stuffed into bags,
the stench covered
by the smell of loyalty
My one and only
Lies in a bath of blood
Maintaining her beauty,
only for me.
Harmony and peace
is all I take away
The beauty I see
is a masterpiece at work
Art being composed
Like drinking aged whisky watching the world end
The freedom, the peace, all finality
She pears to me
The look of purity
A creature in its natural form
Bathing in its habitat
Waiting for prey,
Or a mate
Something to love, to eat...
I stand in awe
dropping my dignity
Kissing her blood soaked mouth,
blood covering my hands,
the Warmth enclosing my body
Her eyes show me a path
A path I dont want but cant resist,
I want her...
Jan 12, 2022
Jan 12, 2022 at 1:30 PM UTC