Isolated and crippled from the fear of being alone
No one to turn to, trapped by my feelings of of doing it all on my own.
Where can I find solace when my only ally is me?
How can I find comfort when I’m struggling to break free?
Surround by nothing but darkness, there’s nothingness all around
Drowning in my own echos with no one to absorb the sound.
Free me from myself for I am and completely lost in time
I’m trapped in who I used to be, I can’t adjust to this new paradigm.
The journey I’m on is mine alone, so I have to keep on this journey
No one to guide me, I’m doing this solo, I have to be my own attorney.
Slowly growing and making some traction, but I have to keep on going
Redefining myself and who I can be but I love the way I’m growing.
Mar 4, 2023
Mar 4, 2023 at 12:54 PM UTC
Today I wrote a letter and addressed it with your name
Confessing of a love so strong, afraid that you wouldn’t feel the same.
I poured my love into the pen and leaked it on every page
Hoping that you would hear my heart, I just needed to get a gauge.
I wrote of how your warm embrace is enough to fuel my desire
Hoping that your feelings were mutual but not willing to really enquire.
I rambled about late night talks and passion that could warm the coldest night
Remembering how it felt to be loved by you and to be kissed by your golden light
I placed my heart in an envelope and sealed it nice and tight
But couldn’t bring my self to inscribe your name on its cover, so I left it bleak and white.
Nov 10, 2022
Nov 10, 2022 at 2:27 AM UTC
As a young girl I was always expected to do as I was told.
Don’t be too loud, don’t talk back, don’t appear to be sassy or bold.
Mind your manners, hold your tongue, there is no space for being rude.
Tone it down, cover it up, we don’t want your black girl attitude.
Forced into boxes with no space to move.
Restricted and restrained with everything to prove.
Constantly combatting the narrative they paint.
Making us look like animals while they look like saints.
We are said to be angry, bitter and loud.
Troublesome, uneducated, following the crowd.
Masculine, impute, stubborn and broken.
Accessories, trophies that ”one” friend, the token.
These strings of disrespect will no longer be allowed.
I don’t care if I’m not polished enough, I’m unwilling to be cowed.
Take back your subtle hate and blatant prejudices all wrapped up in a bow.
Served on a platter with fluffy words of disapproval and the saying “that’s just the way things go”.
They say we are stubborn, unmovable and complacent.
Well , consider how our feelings are always compartmentalized and latent.
Our cries go unheard, our request are unmet.
No one to protect us, left on our own to fret.
This debt that we carry is too much to bare.
It’s just as heavy as the onus that we all have to share.
We are ethereal, complex and fed up with your satire.
You can have whatever you think of me, I’m done being your Sapphire.
Nov 10, 2022
Nov 10, 2022 at 2:19 AM UTC
Sometimes the journey feels too long, too hard or too risky, but in our toughest moments we find impossible, incredible and unimaginable strength! Trust that you will make it through! Always remember that light can only shine its brightest in the darkest of nights. Storms are temporary but strength can last forever 🤍.
Sep 20, 2022
Sep 20, 2022 at 11:11 PM UTC
How are you feeling right now?
Kind of all over the place, almost like a yo-yo! Being thrown out when I get too close and reeled back in when I get too distant! I wish I’d met you sooner, indicating that its too late! My feelings are hurt, crushed and shattered, but I least I know our fate!
You’ve been a tornado, on. Destructive path, destroying all that get in your way. I know that you’re deadly, and that I should run, but it’s hard not to stay! Release me from your grasp, I need to move on, there is no sense of sticking around. Just let me go, I have to escape, I cannot dance another round. This twisted tango is not good for me, my decisions are clouded and distorted. Im feeling lost, sad and confused, so leave me alone with my feelings to be sorted.
You use honesty as a guise to hide the face that you’re damaged beyond repair. So please just leave, no need to stick around, free me from my despair. You want no strings attached, pure unadulterated fun, no feelings, no titles to share. But my heart is fragile, its strings are all tangled and and yet you really don’t care.
Apr 11, 2022
Apr 11, 2022 at 6:37 PM UTC
For years my heart was guarded, protected from the world.
But somehow you have disarmed me, opened and unfurled.
You’ve taken me, broken and damaged, mishandled and hurled .
Yet you see me as delicate and dainty, so precious and pearled.
Everything’s not perfect but it sure is beautiful here.
Your smile so bright with a voice I just love to hear.
Your touch, so gentle I just want to have you near.
I love your energy and your presence, you make everyone else disappear.
He has captured my trust and that’s something not easily given.
He has made all my worries forgotten and all of my heartache is forgiven.
His mission was to win my heart and made his goal clear, he was driven.
After plenty of chances to earn my trust, I’d finally decided to give in.
I feel so loved, so valued, so cared for so protected.
He has won me over and I doubt I’ll ever regret it.
To a man who truly cares for me and satisfies my every need.
For you have saved me from my darkness, and my heart you have freed.
Jul 11, 2021
Jul 11, 2021 at 6:27 PM UTC
I’m emotionally unavailable for you bs today
So please keep moving and don’t even think about looking my way.
I’m caught up in my feelings with the cards that I’ve been dealt
So please don’t comment on my absence, I know it has been felt.
Missed events, broken promises and the list just grows each day
Letting go tomorrow and what is to come, trying to focused on today.
Nothing but sadness, heartache and sorrow, thats all that I can see
Replacing my smiles with tears and longing, please just release me.
Never did I ever imagine that this would happen you see
So please save me, I’m slowly drowning in pain and misery.
To strong to let go, yet too weak to fight, I don’t know how much more I can take
I’m constantly falling, running in slow motion, this has to be a mistake.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 9:32 PM UTC
Dear Morgan,
Hey Tink, I just want to be able to give you the world. I want to give you all of the opportunities I was never given. I want to hold you in my arms and protect you forever. I just want to see you smile every time I am in your presence. You, my dear are chosen, you are destined to be great. You will go on yo do incredible things, we just have to be strong and have patience. You are filled with such curiosity, creativity and compassion. My life before you was pretty simple, but life without you, I couldn’t imagine. I wish I could solve all of your problems before life throws them your way. But *** is impossible to avoid life’s obstacles so be sure to paint many rainbows for times when your skies are grey. Life is a balance of both good and bad and I witness this every day. I promise to always listen to you, even when I can’t take your pain away.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. Be Brave, Be Fearless, Take Risk
Feb 12, 2021
Feb 12, 2021 at 7:46 PM UTC
From the moment I first heard your heart beat, I knew my life would be forever changed!
From the moment I felt your little flutters, I knew that our connection had been perfectly arranged!
The first time I held you in my arms I felt a love like never before.
The first time my eyes connected with yours I knew that my heart had been chanced at the core.
You have shared my life in many ways that I would have never imagined.
You have helped me to refocus my hopes and dreams by helping me find my passion.
From the start, I was a frightened young girl just waiting to conquer the world.
But you have taught me how to be brave and how to take on the world unfurled.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that God trusted me with someone so precious and pure.
But with my life, I promise to love you, nurture you and keep you secure.
Feb 12, 2021
Feb 12, 2021 at 7:42 PM UTC
Acknowledge the hurt,
Identify how you feel,
Wipe the slate clean,
Establish boundaries,
Commit to forgive.
Jan 3, 2021
Jan 3, 2021 at 8:23 PM UTC