Sweet boy,
I've already written a book full of love broken stories
Which one of us is going to lose this time?
I'm really hoping that one day it will all be alright
But I know better than to say this one's right
How will it go again?
Will you tell me too late that you never cared
Let me give you myself then lock your own self away
You think I'm pretty but there's always a but
You like me only enough to want me to stay
Or does it go like this?
You fall in love too fast
I can be cold too, maybe it's my fault
I break the heart of a lover brand new to the world
Am I the cycle that they're all stuck in too?
Maybe I play all my cards right
And Lady Luck turns your heart into mine
We walk the tight rope to the altar line
It happened once to someone harder to love
Well maybe someday it'll happen to us
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 8:20 PM UTC
8 years later you're engaged, and going to a concert with your sibling
but you run into someone not quite familiar and learn that the man who sexually assaulted you still knows your name
You're taking a photo at a club full of people supposed to be safe, but a man says you look beautiful, follows you as you move, and comes from nowhere again to say he loves the way you dance.
You're enjoying dinner that you cooked with your partner, and you get a long message from your ex that you've been barred from a community space. He says you never appreciated him enough.
You feel your own hips, own chest, own hair, and think, this is womanly.
You can trust someone is watching every time you feel safe.
May 5, 2025
May 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM UTC
I don't want you to do anything different from who you are, but I want you here.
I miss you.
I want you.
I'm so proud of you. I show you off to everyone. You are out doing an amazing thing in the world.
I miss you.
I want you.
And I miss you. I wish you were here to cuddle me. I wish you were here to be next to me.
I miss you.
I want you.
I want to kiss your belly. I want you to help me on my projects. I want you to hand me coffee in the morning.
I miss you.
I want you.
I love our life together, and you being apart from my life for a little while is part of our life.
I miss you.
I want you.
Nothing can replace you. No one can love me the way I do. You make it look so easy, and yet you're the only one who can do it.
I miss you.
I want you.
I want you to have your adventures, and I want you home. It's not fair. Why can't we cross continents in blinks so that I can sleep next to you?
I miss you.
I want you.
My love.
Jan 28, 2025
Jan 28, 2025 at 1:21 PM UTC
Sometimes when I'm tired,
I'll think that I don't want to exist
This life is suffering, striving,
And why should I continue
I hate the life I've made.
But there are other things
There are dreams
There is presence
There is support
There is beauty
When I'm in these things,
I don't think life is suffering.
I think issues can be managed
I don't think, really.
I just love.
Jun 25, 2023
Jun 25, 2023 at 10:52 PM UTC
I’ll get there someday, I just know it
I’ll get it right
I just have to get out there and
Keep trying
And refuse to compromise
With less love than what I give
I’ll get there but it’s scary
To get out there again
I have my memories
I have my comfort
I’m not ready
To let go
Yes
Go ahead,
Say that I’m a coward
But I just need more time
I need much much more practice
Saying that things can get better
Saying that the pains of leaving the status quo
Would be worth it for a happy love
May 11, 2023
May 11, 2023 at 6:06 PM UTC
My heart hurts and hurts and hurts
It hurts when I don’t distract it with media, or stuff it away to do work
It hurts with a low ache, a mourning
Hasn’t it always hurt?
Even when we were together, I hurt
What’s wrong with me?
Everything feels somehow wrong
An undercurrent of dread
Nausea
I want to throw up, but there’s no bile
It’s the thought of you I want to push away
Reject
Expel from my dreams and my memories
Why did you not love me?
Why did I love you?
Why did we do all this?
It’s disgusting
It’s wrong
The kind of thing that someone’d wrinkle their nose to
It’s just boy problems
Stupid silly
But all’s fair in love and war, I remember
May 11, 2023
May 11, 2023 at 5:52 PM UTC
You have taught me
that I can want birth and kids and marriage
You have taught me
that I can give myself pleasure
You have taught me
that mindfulness is based on curiousity, not belief
You have taught me
that I want security, as well as a partner and friend
You have taught me
to speak up for what it is my heart wants
You have taught me
some pieces in the holes of my past
You have taught me
to dominate
You have taught me
to receive
You have taught me
to massage
You have taught me
to climb
Dec 24, 2022
Dec 24, 2022 at 4:50 PM UTC
When you break my heart, it will be worth it, because you made me feel the whole of it again
You poor deprived boy, you are the tragic one to not feel the awe of love
While you see in me a book that has opened its pages for you
I see in you our happiness, our selves, our life
I feel like a medium
I feel like a clown
I feel like the worst *****
Who sold herself for her heart, in the rush of a holiday sale
I feel like I am stripped naked and returned to a truth clothed by logic and scorn
I trust you to care for me when you break me
You sweet beautiful thing
Dec 24, 2022
Dec 24, 2022 at 4:35 PM UTC
I want to tell you that I love you.
“I love you,” isn’t necessarily a romantic sentiment. “I love you,” can mean all types of things.
I want to tell you “I love you,” because it feels important to tell people that they are loved, and someone telling you directly that you are loved by them seems like it could give a lot of comfort.
Though if you panic instead, that doesn’t seem like it would bring comfort.
I suppose my urge to tell you “I love you” is an urge to wrap you in the burning thought of a strongest hug.
I want to convey that I think you are worthy of care, that I want you to feel loved, that you are beautiful, that I am so glad I have you in my life, that you push me and comfort me in ways I’ve never gotten to explore, that I would be there for you if you let me.
I want to give you a kiss on the forehead and see you smile, pleased and content.
Nov 19, 2022
Nov 19, 2022 at 1:20 PM UTC
I want to go back and take you and shake you and tell you
“NO they are not right for us”
I want to make it so neither of us gets hurt,
but instead we grow old and heal together,
with fewer scars and more time.
Nov 19, 2022
Nov 19, 2022 at 1:17 PM UTC
