I literally ******* hate you so much
I feel like you’ve seen inside my soul without my permission
You got me hooked and now you’ve let go of the rod
I’m so confused
I want to know what’s going on inside your ******* head
What the hell is going on inside my own?
I’m scared of you
You’re so good in some ways yet so bad in others
I literally want to know every single ******* detail about you
I want to wipe away your memories of any other girl you’ve ever had and fill them up with me instead
May 7, 2023
May 7, 2023 at 9:09 PM UTC
The pressure cracks my bones
like a lofty barrel
Weighing a top my tormented back.
My rib cage once housed a humming bird
That half dead, plague ridden thing
flew away long ago.
Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 3:53 PM UTC
Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.
Who’d have thought?
My thinking is against me.
It’s pulling at my arms as I try to run.
Stuckstuckstuckstuck
Stuck in the pattern
Emotional quicksand
Dragging me back under
Over and over and over and over and over
I can never escape
Never escape
The loop
I SCREAMED TO GOD FOR HELP
each time I gasp for air and get dragged back under
I don’t even know if I’m making progress
God give me a sign that I’m making progress
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 10:21 PM UTC
Float me away
On a pile of flying leaches
Dissolve my edges
With acid made of clouds
The stuckness of my heart
Pulls on my veins
Pumping black tar around my bones
The crickets in my ears
Never shut up
Static attacks my cells
Happiness is just a game.
Nov 6, 2020
Nov 6, 2020 at 10:05 PM UTC
I woke up today
Surrounded by boxes.
Empty they were
Not made of wood
They were made of cardboard
I realised the door was above me
I could see the light peeking through
I wanted to get through the door
Away from the darkness
So I stood on a box
To start climbing towards the door
But the box couldn't hold my weight
It collapsed beneath me
'Oh!' I thought
And I tried another one
But still,
Couldn't hold my weight
I tried and tried
But the boxes kept breaking.
I started to panic
I was stuck in the darkness!
For every box I stood on,
Another would appear
But none would hold me.
I began to weep and weep
I screamed for help
I shut my eyes
Silently crying
When a voice said,
'Turn around'
So I did.
And there was another door
It had been there
All along
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 8:39 PM UTC
My soul had a hole
It was a river flowing to Hell
No fish swam here
Only darkness
And Fear
I wished for Death but you came instead
Now what once was heavy
Is filled with feathers
And in the emptiness
Dance the colours of spring
I wished for Death but thank God you came instead
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 8:07 PM UTC
My heart calls
For someone who’s not there
I swear I can hear it
I want to confess it all
Every wrong I did to you
But where do I begin?
How I hated myself so much
I searched for love in others
That didn’t give it to me
When you were always there
Bursting with sunshine
I was hiding in the shadow
Of my sins
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018 at 2:39 PM UTC
Call my name
Whisper it
Or shout it
Anything
To hear
Your voice
Chasing you
Through
The flowers
And mud
Wishing you’d chase after me
I reached for your hand but it was never there
Until now
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 16, 2018 at 11:10 PM UTC
The garden
Flowers are growing in the mud of my soul
The aches turned to pleasures
The bruises turned to birds
Path once overgrown
Now pruned
The dust and debris
Swept away
By a lost sweeping brush
Forgotten in the corner
Until you shone your light
And the tools
Were found again
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 11:12 PM UTC